I have always believed myself to be asexual due to my difficulty in keeping relationships and a sexually abusive childhood. And whenever guys try to be nice/flirt or look at me, it kind of pisses me off. However, this one guy, who is rather quiet, attractive, and smart but sadly friends with idiots ("popular" kids) has looked at me at me often, and instead of thinking 'take a pic it lasts longer' i actually don't mind it. And he's really sweet to me too. And it doesn't bother me. In fact, lately I've been curious to see if i can get his attention or not. That doesn't mean i can see myself having a relationship with him, but he makes me smile when i think of him. So what does this mean? That i might not be asexual after all? And if so, what do i do?
2007-10-30 15:41:38 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
People asexual does NOT mean i can impregnate myself! Its just like being bi, straight, or gay, only asexuals don't like sex or are not attracted to other people in that sense
2007-10-30 16:00:55 · update #1
you never really know until you try...just give it a try this might change your life forever you never know...
2007-10-30 15:44:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't call you "asexual," just sexually or relationally cautious. Given your history you mentioned, that is completely understandable. I think how you feel about this guy may be a sign that you're maturing and maybe coming to terms with your past, and that maybe something about this guy (being smart, quiet, and sweet to you - traits I doubt the person who sexually abused you possessed I'm guessing?) make you instinctively feel like this guy is "safe"? I don't know, I'm not a therapist lol, I could be way off. But it is a good sign if you are possibly finding yourself - even just friend-wise - attracted to a guy who is kind to you, right?
Take it slowly, talk to this guy more often and be open and receptive whenever he talks to you. You certainly don't have to jump into anything. If you don't end up married to this guy, he wouldn't have been your one and only chance at love. But it is a great opportunity to practice opening up and adjusting to the idea of becoming vulnerable and intimate with someone.
Sorry if this sounded really textbookish... Best of luck. =)
2007-10-30 16:02:39 · answer #2 · answered by nightmare hippie girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being asexual, if you are in good health otherwise and your hormones are at a normal level, is not abnormal but is lifestyle choice, and if you are fine with it I wouldn't worry. However, it may create problems down the road if you happen to fall in love with somebody for whom sex is an important part of an intimate relationship. Not that it wouldn't work out, but it should probably be discussed openly, not kept a secret (yes, I am thinking of a real-life example as I type this).
2016-05-26 04:00:44 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like you are asexual to me. It just sounds like you are dealing with the issues surrounding child sexual abuse. Why not talk to him and try to strike up a friendship? Don't put a bunch of pressure on yourself to make it into something more. Just enjoy getting to know him as a person.
2007-10-30 15:45:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
So I take it that frogs have now evolved into humans and can talk think and use the Internet, so maybe you are asexual. WTF? Are you a frieking lunatic. For Pete's sake. I think that if you are seriously assking this question, the guy is not going to be into you that much after all. Maybe he is just thinking of how crazy you are and how many different ways he can publicly exploit you to the WORLD! Wait, I believe you now. A unicorn just popped out of my butt and told me not to post this. NOT!\
a·sex·u·al–adjective 1. Biology.
a. having no sex or sexual organs.
b. independent of sexual processes, esp. not involving the union of male and female germ cells.
2007-10-30 15:51:43 · answer #5 · answered by Joey 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You just like people differently. You and I have a lot in common. You're fine. If you want to call it asexual, you can, but you really don't have to give it a name. You do have to admit you've got a crush. :-)
2007-10-30 15:45:17 · answer #6 · answered by dumbuglyweirdo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am reminded of a saying
Little to we know what wires strangle our soals
held back by fear
in a mesh of trivialities
I don't mean to trivialize your feelings. Rather I refer to the fear that strangles us from living.
I fear that your past requires you to examine and deal with it before you can truly explore your sexuality.
It sounds like you are healthy sexually individual but not sure of yourself.
The answers you seek, you already know in your heart.
You must deal with anger and the other negative emotions or they will eat you up and color your life.
Follow your heart and be kind to yourself and others and you will never falter.
2007-10-30 16:10:21 · answer #7 · answered by Elizabeth B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are ... how can I say this? Someone who doesn't like to be seen as an object of sexual desire... it doesn't mean you are asexual.. just a feminist.
2007-10-30 15:47:28 · answer #8 · answered by ******* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
asexual means you can reproduce with yourself
wtf? are you talking about
2007-10-30 15:56:33 · answer #9 · answered by jellie42 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
give it a try , be open and just let it play out .
if you dont you may kick yourself later for not giving this a chance
2007-10-30 15:46:35 · answer #10 · answered by Tank 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not asexual
2007-10-30 15:44:05 · answer #11 · answered by LadyRebecca 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋