do you think this is Rude???

Question

when people come over your house and ask for food/drink...EVERYTIME they come visit....and never offer to bring anything .

whether they are close to you or not.
do you think they should wait for the host to offer something?

keep in mind some guests/friends don't even give you a chance to offer...

its just weird to me , when they really invite themselves over...its not like im having a party

Answer 1

I think that people shouldnt feel obligated to feed a guest. I would understand it if it was a gathering, that would be ok. If the person came for a visit ok, I'll take it as a visit, but if the person came to expect to be feed.

Whenever I visit a house, I never expect my host to feed me, unless that person tells me to come to eat.

and yes, I think it is rude for people to demand or ask for food when they go for a visit.

Answer 2

I suppose it depends on how long you wait to offer them something. Also, how close you are. If it's a good friend, it's more tolerable than someone you are only acquainted with. If it bothers you, and they are a close friend/family, by all means....say something to them about it. How do they act when you visit their house? Maybe they feel that you are welcome to whatever, whenever, and the feelings should be mutual when they visit you.

However, a drink is one thing, but food is quite another. I was raised to NEVER ask for any thing....especially food. If you visit someone, they invite you into their home, they cannot afford to feed you, so don't ever ask. But coffee or tea is definitely always an option for any guest that is welcome. The host should by all means offer a drink, unless of course, you don't like the visitors. In that case, who cares what they think of you? Just tell them you're not their mother and you do not intend to pay for their bellies to be full.

Answer 3

Yes, this is rude.

You have gotten the reputation for being the free lunch counter, if even people who are not close to you come over and ask for food and drink. These do not sound like friends, these are free-loaders.

Unless you want to feed this ungrateful crowd forever, you have to put a stop to it.

It is your home, you set the rules.

If they come over and ask for food, just tell them, "Sorry, the kitchen is CLOSED." If they start to go into the kitchen themselves, step in front and say, "Excuse me, I said the kitchen is closed." Hopefully they will get the hint.

Even my own grown children and grandchildren will wait until something is offered. I am a good hostess, and always have something I can serve, but I wouldn't put up with free-loaders for a single minute.

And you shouldn't either.

Answer 4

I guess but maybe its also a sign that their conformable enough around you to be them self and not deal with the whole awkard polite thing. Because when I go over to a friends house for the first time I never ask for anything but when I go to my best friends house who I know well and I know her mom and everything I feel fine just going in the kitchen and gettin some water without even asking (and she doesn't think its rude because she does the same thing)

but if it bothers you (which is sounds like it does) why don't you just tell them...or if you want to be nice go over to their place once and don't ask for anything (if he doesn't offer) say "excuses me, if its not to much of a inconvenience may I please have a class of water" so he/she sees that your polite and will realize thats how you conduct yourself and hopeful he'll take a hint and do the same at your house

hope that helps :]

Answer 5

Here's a suggestion:

Be a polite host and beat them to the punch. Offer them water to drink and finger foods to squelch hunger. Nothing says you have to put yourself out for uninvited guests.

"Do you have tea or soda?"
"No. Sorry."

If you haven't invited them and they are "dropping in" all the time, then I don't see why you should have to go through all the hassle of making something extravagant or involved.
Something like chips & dip or fresh veggies and dip.

If they are not happy with that, then say you are not up to preparing a meal and suggest going out to eat (with them paying their own way of course).

After a while, they'll get the hint.

For them to continually "invite themselves" and then expect you to continually provide food is a bit rude and very presumptuous.

Answer 6

If someone shows up at your doorstep uninvited, you are within your rights to greet them with express apologies for being unable to let them in. Judith Martin, also known as Miss Manners, has addressed this very topic. This response is quite correct.

It is also quite correct for the host to offer refreshments to their guests. That means when you have guests at your home you should take their coats, direct them to where to sit, and offer them refreshments. Whether they wait for you to offer or demand water at the door like my aunt does not matter.

Answer 7

Yes, I think that they should wait for the host to offer . . . . .

Not even my grown children would think to help themselves to the contents of my refrigerator - - - - at least they would ask me politely first. And usually they bring a truck load of food with them!

Everyone else can go hungry - unless I offer them a plate of food - which I usually have on hand!

Answer 8

Yes, very rude. You can stop them from coming by not offering them anything. Tell them there's no food or drinks for them. That should put them off.

Answer 9

Yes it is rude.Have you considered that they may be hungury and not get fed at home? I only mention this because my children had some friends that this was so.I am a christain the least I can do is feed them.If it bothers you don't invite them,thay way they are sure to get fed somewhere.If friends are comming straight from school they are hungury and thirty,you grow out of by age 20 or so and by the way it is rude of you not to offer.

Answer 10

Did the ask to come over or did you invite them? If they were invited drinks at the very least would be expected.