I have narrowed my choice down to 2.
One of my friends I have known for about 12 years. We were best friends in high school, we have been roommates for 3 years, and we work together. However I am worried about him doing something stupid because when he drinks he drinks too much and always gets plastered. He says stupid things and dosent remember what he said the next day.
The other I have known for about 10 years. I hang out with him more often, our girlfriends get along, I also feel like I can tell him anything. He was the only one that knew that I bought a ring and was about to propose. I feel that he is a closer friend to me. He is more responsible in general and I would trust him with anything.
I just don't know. I think that #2 is a better choice but I am afraid that #1 will hold it against me because we have been good friends for so long.
Do you have any advice for letting one of them down easy...
2007-10-30 15:09:03 · 19 answers · asked by Brian W 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Choose the one you can rely on--it's going to be the biggest, most important day of your life. Do you really want a possible "drunk" to worry about on your wedding day?
I suggest you tell friend #1 that while you have been friends a long time, you feel that for this occassion, you need someone who can give you a lot of time to help with the wedding. Tell him you know he is already pretty busy and stressed with his job and his family, and that friend #2 and his gal has offered to help with the wedding planning and such.....
2007-10-30 15:16:04 · answer #1 · answered by Benji's Mommy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like to me you have already chosen your answer. Now you just have to figure out how to tell the first guy. I would just say that you had a hard time choosing who you wanted to be your best man and that you and your fiance talked about it and you have choosen the other guy but he is still also your best friend. Just let him know you were considering him but in the end you do have to choose somebody.
If you really wanted to you could have both as best men and then just choose the second guy to carry the ring and stand beside you. Most people are actually more understanding then you would think about your wedding because it is your wedding after all. It will still hurt but if he is truely a friend he will see your side of the whole thing and just move on. You want the best man to be responsbile because you are going to be trusting them with the ring, the bachlor party, and the speech. Those are three huge responsibilites. You dont' want to regret your choice.
Congrats on the wedding and good luck with everything!!
2007-10-30 22:57:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The second guy is the better choice. You obviously have a bond with him.
Picking a best man isn't about who you've known the longest.
Besides, it's not like you've only known Mr 2 for a few weeks and the other guy all you life. You've know both over 10 years.
Could Mr 1 have another role, such as emcee, where he still has a position of honor? He only has to stay sober until after dinner. Should be possilbe for most people.
2007-10-30 22:31:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's clear that #2 is a better choice and it sounds like you know that. I would explain to #1 that you really want him to be a part of your wedding and you care a lot about him, but you're closer to #2. If you think it'll go over well, you can make a kind of joke about being afraid of what his speech will be once he gets drunk--that depends on whether that will lighten the conversation or make it worse. Really all you need to say is the first part. If he's a good friend, he'll get over it eventually.
2007-10-31 01:01:27 · answer #4 · answered by sarai_kristi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I definitely agree that best friend #2 is the way to go. That being said, a true friend would understand the reasons you have given. I'm sure the first one understands what happens when he drinks. If you decide to go with #1, and he is as good of a friend as he sounds like, then explain to him how important it is to you that he not drink during the wedding. He should be willing to at least limit the amount of consumption. A true friend would be happy to oblige.
2007-10-30 22:16:17 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go with number #2, say the best man job is important and as you know #1 likes to drink, it would be unfair to tell him to remain sober. You want number #1 to have a good time and not have to worry about responsibilities.
2007-10-30 22:20:15 · answer #6 · answered by Limestoner62 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely pick number #2 for many reasons, but the biggest being that your wife will kill you if #1 messes up her wedding. As far as letting him know, I always believe in honesty. Tell him that he is a great friend to you but this is your special day and that frankly, you are worried about his drinking. (Sounds like he might have a problem anyway and it will be good for him to hear it.)
2007-10-30 22:13:49 · answer #7 · answered by it's me 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
who do you tell your all to when you need someone to just listen?
who do you feel more comfortable with to party and just have a really good time? who is going to be there after you get married?as a friend?
which one would help you out through thick and thin?
which one does your wife prefer more?
which one you can trust aftrer a couple of drinks?
which one would only say good things about you in a public situation like you are going to be holding?
who are you the most comfortable with ,like a brother?
which one would take their "best man" privalage serious?
after you answer these questions then only "you"can choose who your best man will be?
2007-10-30 22:19:05 · answer #8 · answered by mimi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
#2 as he is more reliable and doesn't do stupid things when drunk.
If #1 complains, state why. Tell him you don't appreciate how he acts when drunk and that is one of the reasons you did not choose him. And that you hang around with #2 more and he is closer to you.
2007-10-31 00:40:23 · answer #9 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may want to consider a relative instead of either one of these friends. If you have been married before and have a son...you may want to have him. Or, do you have a brother-in-law whom might be good? Just trying to look at it from another perspective. If you should decide to stick with either of these friends...pick the one who will do the best job to help you on that day and be most considerate to wedding attendees.
2007-10-31 05:35:45 · answer #10 · answered by alexgirl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋