Ok, my mother in law lives with us (my husband, myself and our daughter). I am ready to do something that I said I would never do, make him choose between our marriage and his mother. She is always in our business, even when we don't ask her advise. She is always trying to tell me what, how, when to raise my daughter. She goes out and buys things that I plan on getting my little one, when I tell her she gets mad. There is so much that goes on I can't even explain in it all in here because it just all won't fit. Another for instance, when the baby gets up n the morning, you can lay her down and tell her she can't get up until daddy is up, she lays back down, my mother in law gets her up and puts her in bed with her and then it causes problems. When I try to talk about my husband tells me I am over reacting and leave it alone. Blames me..sticks up for her. And won't listen to anything I have to say.
What should I do?
2007-10-30 14:30:15 · 8 answers · asked by Just Want To B Me 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
They were in the process of buying the house when I met him. She has always lived with us but now it's getting worse. And she doesn't seem to respect me and treats me as if it's not my house. Nothing of mine is hanging or sat out including my lighthouse collection.
2007-10-30 23:46:36 · update #1
Who is your husband married to? You or his mother? Sounds as if she is the queen of the castle and you are the
peasant servant. Now that this has spin ed out of control time to toss your mop and grab the crown. I would have a sit down with the two of them and ask what they feel your position is in this home. Your not making any decisions, your home is decorated by your mother in law, she is taking over with your child, and your husband agrees with her. What is your place there. I would also let them know how things are going to be and what changes you are making. If they are unhappy with all I would tell your husband he can sleep with his mother until he finds a place for him and her. I understand that you do not want a divorce however, you have been a door mat for a long time. This is not going to be easy and the only way he is going to side with you as he should is if he as a fear of loss.
I would tell him that your not asking him to choose between you and his mother however you are to be treated like a partner as you are his wife not his servant.
2007-11-01 08:05:26 · answer #1 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you're going through this. It looks like the situation won't change, because your mother-in-law is not going to grow a new personality at her age, and you've said your husband won't intercede on your behalf. So you have control over only one thing, and that is your own response to this uncomfortable situation.
I wouldn't sacrifice my marriage because of my mother-in-law. Maybe you have to surrender a bit. Let her buy your child things (even though you wanted to buy them yourself) and let the whole issue go about her taking your baby into bed.
Think about the big picture: a child can never, ever have too many people who love her. Shift gears a bit and tell your mother-in-law thank you every time she buys something for your baby. And when she takes her into bed (even though you don't want her to), think about all the love she is giving your child.
I know it's not easy, but you can choose to create peace and serenity in your house, or to stir up strife. You, your husband, and your child will be so much happier if you choose the former.
Good luck, and God bless.
2007-10-30 21:39:56 · answer #2 · answered by meatpiemum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stand up to your mother in law. Tell her that you appreciate her input but she is imposing on you too much. Since your husband is obviously not going to help, you need to be firm and precise in your actions. If she flares up and argues, just repeat yourself calmly and clearly. Tell her that until she can treat you Will respect and respect your decisions even when she might not agree, the her input will not be welcomed. Its hard i know but if you do not draw the line somewhere, things are only going to get worse.
All the best
2007-10-30 21:46:26 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didnt explain why your mother in law is living with you. This is a very bad situation, and you need to get your mother in law out to save your marriage and your sanity.
2007-10-30 21:37:15 · answer #4 · answered by NewSong 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just go out and let her take care of things and stay gone shopping she will change her tune, and get tired of doing it all . dont leave your husband, that will annoy her , so let her buy things more money for you . since your husband wont listen , be shopping when he gets home and tell your mother in law she may as welll cook and do it all . get up early take daughter with you ,.
2007-10-30 21:47:20 · answer #5 · answered by freeflow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might need someone to mediate for you. If you have a pastor I would go see him and ask for his help, or ask your husband to seek counseling with you.
I would ask your husband to please have his mother move or it is going to seriously affect your marriage.
2007-10-31 00:21:25 · answer #6 · answered by oh_my_its_linda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHY is she living with you?
Help her to get a place of her own,YESTERDAY.
2007-10-30 21:43:22 · answer #7 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to butt out and get her own place.
2007-10-30 21:48:13 · answer #8 · answered by Kevin M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋