my daughter?

Question

my 14 year old daughter hates to read and is in high school that teaches law and requires many books to be read. I have tried to get her to pick a book but she refuses too. This morning she asked me if I would buy her a book, it cost 11 bucks. i was excited that she wanted a book and would read it while commuting to school. well the book is here and I took it away because it was called THUGS AND THE WOMEN WHO LOVE THEM. the cover showed a couple who looked sexual!!
I opened to the middle and the first sentence i read said "HE PUT HIS D##$ INSIDE ME. I shut the book and took it. i cant begin to tell u everything i said to her.

How else should i handle this?

Answer 1

You should be the mom and insist she do her school work. That is her job as a child. To learn. If she won't, take away everything in her room but her bed and clothes and make her earn her things back. You have a teen teetering on the edge and you can either yank her back down to reality or watch her plunge to her demise. Your choice.

With no TV, Internet, phone, video games, etc to occupy her time, she will read. Parents tend to coddle children and then act surprised when they act out. Time to take control and let her know she will do her work and she will not read things that are sexually explicit as it is not age appropriate. No reasoning, no explanation. That only leaves room for her to argue. It is your job to protect her, keep her safe and raise her to respect authority and be a moral, productive human being. Not make her happy or bend to her whims.

Answer 2

I have a 12 year old and she is already going through this. Fortunately she lives with my mom because she didn't like the schools that are in the area I live.

Compromise..I read books like that at her age (well maybe not that explicit) but I read romance novels. She will read the book whether you let her or not, she can get it other places and leave it at school. Let her read it, because believe it or not she knows more than that book can tell her now a days. But tell her in order to get it back to read it she has to read 1 regular book. Try "The Outsiders", also has a movie based on it. Another one, is "Flowers in the Attic". Compromising gives her a little leeway but also lets you control the part of getting her homework done. Taking things away, etc. will only make it worse especially at this age. But if you want to take something away, start slow. It may get you some where but it may also get you no where.

In the end, you are the parent and she is the child. Counseling may help but that part is completely up to you.

Answer 3

Explain to her that you're afraid if she reads such trashy novels then her behavior will start to slip and you wish her to have more pride and respect for herself then that.

Maybe you could tell her if she wishes to read this book, then you and her will read the book together maybe an hour a night. then you and her can discuss the context of the book and how you feel and how she feels about the book adn what happened. Be open minded and realize she may not have the same opinion as you. This will strengthen the bond between you both and you won't be such a 'horrible mom' as she spreads through the local high school. Believe, if she wishes to read the book bad enough then she'll compromise this with you. However, she may not and just rent the book or borrow it from a friend.

She may not have really wanted to read the story. She may have just been testing her boundaries that you had set before her.

Answer 4

Okay, as a parent my first reaction would be to do the EXACT same thing you did.

And it's perfectly normal at that age to try to push the envelope with edgy material. You have learned a lesson in being a little more nosy about what exactly she is ordering.

But since it's not my daughter I can be a little more detached.

Read the book yourself. Language aside, maybe, just maybe, the content isn't as bad as you think. OR it likely is just awful. But at least you can honestly say to your daughter that she is not to read it and explain why. Don't be judgmental, don't get mad. She is curious about the world and this is a side of society that is very "interesting" for a lack of a better word, to a 14 y.o. Use this as a moment to talk about issues.

Then the two of you go together to Borders are Barnes and Noble and let her pick out a book. Tell her you are going to read the same book and when she finishes it the two of you are going out to dinner - to a restaurant of her choice - to talk about it together. You can even sweeten the deal saying she can get a new outfit to wear for the outing :).

Better yet if you can enlist one or two of her close friends and their moms to form a "book club" of sorts.

good luck!

Answer 5

Take ALL forms of entertainment from her and go to the Library and help her get a stack of books and tell her when she has read them she can watch TV play video games, go to her friends, talk on the phone etc.Until then all other forms of entertainment are off limits.Tell her she wont be able to make it in this world if she cant read.Find a few true stories of REAL thugs and how the women who loved them REALLY ended up.Take her by the police dept to talk to the cops sometime and maybe the welfare office.She can see how "glamorous" it REALLY is.

Answer 6

wow! well shes growing and experiencing...she is probably curious...but talk to he rabotu sex before she wants to trya nd stuff! also make her read if she dosunt want to. ground her or somehtingg

Answer 7

if she's fourteen, you really need to take her to counseling.