My boyfriend wants me to marry him but I do not feel like he is sexually attracted to me, he complains and turns me away if I want to have sex with him. I have tried everything sexy clothes, not asking for it and he still will make me feel bad and say i just gave it to you the other day like it is a chore not something great. I don't know what to do, this is killing me oh by the way he is 35 and I am 42. I am not out of shape either.
2007-10-30 13:38:50 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Do not take this the wrong way, but chances are, it may very well seem like a chore to him. He could be fulfilling his desires through masturbation, and while that is entirely normal, it could be done to the point where it is interfering with your relationship.
It could also be that he's just not into sex as much as you (it's hard to believe, but us guys do tend to think of other things occassionally). In order to find out the true root of the problem, you need to have a heart to heart with him and let him know that it is bothering him.
Don't make it so much as "What can I do to get sex", make it a point to find out the problem and first give to him so that he can return the favor. Go out and do something nice like a dinner and a movie, with maybe a surprise visit to a beach/club/park/scenic view.
Hope this helps.
2007-10-30 13:44:00 · answer #1 · answered by untamed_soul 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The best thing to do is talk to him, it may be that he just isn't into sex. I wouldn't get married with out having this resolved. I know it sounds strange that a guy would not be into sex but it happens, just like some women. I would find out if he has always been like this or if there is a problem be it medically or otherwise. Good Luck :)
2007-10-30 13:47:29 · answer #2 · answered by caralezie 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is not a good sign. I think you need to ask yourself, if things continue like this for time to come, will you be happy? I think the answer is no. Sex isn't a big deal in a relationship UNLESS it's not happening! You deserve to be with someone who can't get enough of you. don't waste your time in an unfulfilling relationship, because you are unhappy and deserve more!
2007-10-30 13:43:55 · answer #3 · answered by Tia 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know but he may have something else going on and he is sexually spent most of the time, or he has an impotence problem and is ashamed to admit it, at 35 he should have a lot of sexual energy, you have to talk this out or your marriage will never work.
2007-10-30 13:44:42 · answer #4 · answered by deejayspop 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
move on honey. There are guys out there will not treat you like this.
If you're not even married and he's acting like sex is a chore, you're in trouble down the line.
2007-10-30 13:47:59 · answer #5 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont mean to be rude or anything but he seriously might be gay.
many gay men try to live life in the closet by getting married but they are never really happy.
does he have a lot of guy friends... or go to the park or for long walks? if so, pay attention.... you might save yourself from a world of hurt if you figure this out now.
2007-10-30 13:45:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like there is another reason he's wanting to get married.There are things called "marriages of convenience".You do need to have a talk with him and find out whats going on...............i don't know the living arrangement as far as finances and housing........but that is weird. Definitely try talking with him.if you don't get any straight answers.......I'd hold off on getting married.
2007-10-30 13:51:24 · answer #7 · answered by BUTTERFLY 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe something else is bothering him (work, family, self esteem issues). try talking to him about it, and get to the bottom of the issue. maybe he is feeling pressured or having a self image problem. it is probably not you. maybe he is worried about HIS weight, or hair loss, or some other physical issue that is affecting his performance and he is embarrassed. just try to bring it up in a way that will not put him on the defense right away. good luck!
2007-10-30 13:44:07 · answer #8 · answered by jleigh120 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
lol, only women say he doesnt like to have sex with ME!
you guys do not have that big of an age gap. remember, you guys are hitting different sexual cycles in life. his libido is waning and yours is growing. a man's peaks in his 20s and a woman's in her late 30s-mid40s.
tell him to get some viagra and all will be well. in addition, he might not be accoustomed to a woman in tune with her sexual needs. might you be a samantha?
2007-10-30 13:47:06 · answer #9 · answered by act_won 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well maybe try talking to him about how you feel and ask him what kinds of things he likes! Then go from there! Sex is a major part of relationships and if not go and get a toy! then you will be set ! good luck!
2007-10-30 13:43:29 · answer #10 · answered by meagerod 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋