Mentally ill brother?

Question

So my older brother is mentally ill, it's something where he is jealous of people, and he can't control his emotions or anger, espicially anger.
So he hits (family) people, and he starts getting everything he wants, he misbehaviors
my parents take him to a fitness center (he likes those)
he goes fishing
he gets the pinpong table he wants,
he gets a new desk,
the new computer,
he even got my room,
everything to anything like my only slice of cake.

And I feel like I can't take it anymore, I want to kick him out of the house, I hate him, so much.
Sometimes I ignore him, but he gets me so depressed.
I still have to be in school for 9 hours, then homework, then waking up in at 6 a.m.
Then I have to listen to him, how he wishes that I would have died in my sleep the next morning.
How should I behave infront of him?
What should I Do?

I'm 15 and he is 17

Answer 1

It sounds like you have a ver difficult situation to deal with. You have to first find it to accept that he has a disability and that it is something that he can not or be able to control. It ssems to me that your parents give him way too much attention because they don't really help the situation by always giving him what he wants- just seems like they want him to stop have moments of rage when he does not get something. It seems like you both need therapy in different ways. You seem like you need therapy to be so young handeling a difficult situation along with the ususal stresses of life. I would see if there are other relatives that you may be able to live with during the school year so that you are allowed to concentrate on your studies. Once you leave school, you will have to function in the real world and you education now will be one thing that will lay a good foundation for your future, on the other hand your brother may be able to collect a dis ability check- so he will not be faced with the same situations as you later in life. Help your brother the best way you can and deal with him when you have reserved enough time and patience to deal with him other wise try to avoid him and avoid the feelings of hating him, tec. HAte is not a healthy feeling for you to carry with you- try to accept him the way he is.
I think you should behave in front of him the way you want him to behave. lead by example- don;t be rude towards him, don't yell at him , and do not tell him mean or bad things. tell him you love him and care about him and maybe try to hug him and see if he acts any different towards you.

good luck

Answer 2

I work with ppl that r mentally ill and for obvious reasons u cant "catch" their illness. A mental illness is a chemical imbalance of the brain and with the right medications it can be controlled. If u r feeling a little scattered, or out of sorts that could have been the strain of the relationship on u. When in a relationship and it gets rocky we tend to over react, blow things out of proportion and things that the other person says or does can hurt us emotionally. I would suggest some councelling to mend some of the hurt that u may be feeling. Also it would answer ur questions on how u r feeling mentally. Most mental illnesses begin when ppl r in their early to late teens, but sometimes ppl dont even know they have an illness till they r adults. Depression can hit at any time. Maybe look back in ur past to see if u have felt what ur feeling now in ur life. Good luck!!!

Answer 3

I have a similar problem. My brother has terets and is constatly make noise at all hours of the night and morning. I've gotten to where I can pretty much handle that, but my parents over baby him because of it and he is pretty much helpless. He constatly gets his way and gets away with stuff I was beaten for doing or saying. That's what really pisses me off. I would tell you to do the same thing I did and talk to my parents about how I feel. It'll let you get it off you chest and maybe make them wise up to the fact that your feeling neglected and put apon. They may be able to do something for you, but in the long run their is nothing they can do about your brother and it's something that will probably always be and issue. Just thank god that you aren't the one that's mentally ill. Talk to your brother about how he makes you feel. This may or maynot help. If all else fails then ignore him. My brother is imature because of the babying and I would bet your brother is too. Children need a lot of reasurenss. There is nothing that gets to my brother more than me not saying anything, but the minimum words to live with him and ignoring him the rest of the time. He'll actually try to draw me into a fight rather than have me not talk to him. So try all of that and good luck.

Answer 4

If at all possibler, try to move out ASAP; your parents are not doing all they need to do. One, this behavior, mental illness or not, is way out of line and unacceptable and they buy into it and feed it as well. They enjoy feeling needed and he enjoys getting his own way and being a monster...so leave the insane asylum and find another place to live before you go crazy. A friend, a relative, anywhere you can find, but move. This is a terrible atmosphere for you and your parents should be told they are hurting you by giving in to him at YOUR expense, very, very bad. If he is so out of control he loses his temper and HITS people, he really needs to be put in a facility, a sanitorium. He does NOT belong in your house, but your parents will not do what is right so you have to save yourself. Also his behavior is very dangerous and someday he will do more than hit.

Answer 5

Sounds like your older brother is not the only jealous person in the family. How old are you? Could it be that some of the things he gets are due to the fact that he is older and has certain needs for Education etc? I am not say that you don't havea real gripe here...but you are only looking at it from one side. Why not talk to your parents...tell them how you feel...maybe you will learn some of the reasons why he gets some things that you don't. Its better than mopping around complaining...confront the issue by conversing with your parents and trying to understand a different perspective...Tell them that you feel you are being ignored...see if you can get some special time for yourself!

Answer 6

Sounds like something you are going to have to take up with your parents. I had a couple friends who both had mentally challenged brothers. They were very sweet, intelligent and very helpful. It sounds like he might be being a little manipulative and taking advantage of the situation. It is up to your parents to make sure you don't take the fall for his condition. It's not your fault things are the way they are. You should get just as much love as he does. You should not be made to feel this way. It's really not fair to you and I feel for you. Just try explaining your feeling to your parents to see if any changes can be made. Maybe they are so overwhelmed by him they don't realize how they are making you feel.

Answer 7

Have you spoken to your parents about how you feel? It is important that they know that his behaviour has caused you to become stressed and depressed. I have been in the same situation, it is frustrating as a sister dealing with a brother like that at home and trying to get on with your own life. Perhaps there is a councillor or a therapist you could even talk to if your parents aren't helpful. You are important to them, they are probably just beside themselves trying to help him that they have forgotten that you need support too. Good luck. I hope things get better for you.

Answer 8

How old is your brother? And has your brother ever had counseling. Has ever been given a diagnosis?

It sounds on the surface that your brother is extremely spoiled. He has learned how to manipulate your parents to get what ever he wants all the time. And yes it is unfair to you.

But until your parents either wise up and get your brother some counseling there is little you can do. Try to just stay away from him as much as possible. When you graduate from school thenyou can move out and support yourself....

Answer 9

just be the bigger person in this. treat him like he doesnt effect you, and maybe even laugh at him when he tries to piss you off.

then you should confront your parents. tell them that you dont feel like this is fair, and that you would like to have just as much as your brother, maybe even more because you dont act up and hit.

and menal illness is NO excuse for acting like a child. too many people are using that exuse nowadays. what was he actually diagnosed with? (guess what!? doctors will give add and adhd medicine to just about anybody!)

Answer 10

I think you should always talk to him with an emotional less voice (monotone if you will). Only we he acts in a manner in which you approve of, should your voice and body action show emotion (happy). What this does is create a relationship where he gets nothing from you emotional until he acts appropriately. I hope this helps.