Should my 9 year old daughter get the expensive present she is demanding for Christmas?

Question

My daughter who is very challenging only wants a computer or an Apple Ipod for Christmas and says she will not be happy with anything else. I told her to be prepared to not get either but whenever it comes up she gets a major attitide. I've told her she should be thankful for any gift she receives and that some kids aren't lucky enough to get anything for Christmas but it doesn't make a dent. I think we should not get either gift for her because she is being so bratty about it but is that going to teach her anything? If we do that than she needs to really understand why she is not getting either gift. What is the best way to do that? Any advice?

She received a $30 MP4 player last year and broke it. Also - she is constantly competing with her teenage brother who received a refurbished computer (not monitor) last year for Christmas and yes we do have a family computer and laptop - but she wants her own.

Answer 1

shes demanding? i would NoT get it for her, then get it for her birthday, or some other holiday, just to show her, you dont always get what you want, teach her a lesson....9 year old her own computer? thats just plain spoiled, and shes just gunna get even worse with the brattyniss.

Answer 2

Wow. Tough. I remember Christmas, and getting a "family computer" one year. My happy dance was still on the home video, but I didn't moan and whine for one and I didn't want it all to myself.

You guys have a family computer right? That should be good enough. However if mommy and daddy are on it all day thats not too cool either. You could always get a second computer, nothing to fancy or expensive. If you have other kids let it known it's for everyone! Ipod mini's aren't that expensive you can get her that. Search Ebay and you can find one extra cheap. Also talk to her. Let her know that it's not right whats she's doing. If she's good from now up to Christmas, does good in school, then you can see what you can do... but don't promise anything. Ask her what else she would want. Computer game, toys bike something else.

If your not wealthy and can't afford a computer then definitly don't go in debt for her. Just try to make Christmas fun for her without money involved.

Answer 3

I think you should have nipped this thing in the bud a long time ago, because at her age, she shouldn't be acting like that unless she has been really spoiled in the past.

My daughter is 10, and can have a real sassy attitude. Her father and I are divorced, and she is the only girl on his side of the family. When she comes home, sometimes I have to regulate her little butt because she is a real spoiled mess!

How I deal with it? I tell her there are some kids that don't even have shoes. I tell her to be grateful for everything because some kids have NOTHING and have actually shown her pictures of unfortunate little children in 3rd world countries that don't even have a roof over their head.

I would not buy her anything if she demanded it. Teaching her to be gracious instead of demanding is going to be a challenge. But whatever you do DON'T GIVE IN to her demands!!! You are the adult, just remember that. Good luck.

Answer 4

I agreed she shouldnt received any two.Away that an ipod is to delicated for a 9 years old child to handle and a computer should be a family thing.Think you should get her anything else nice that she didnt expected to receive this Christmas ,that is meant for her age.Finally she will just learn from her own experience that she cant get everything she wants .Will teach her a very valuable lesson in life.
About being helpful getting something for Christmas ...
Saying it isnt enough,you have to show your child the difference.Take old toys and clothes you pick up with your child ,to your local church or charity .She had to see the difference with her own eyes and feel it.

Answer 5

Give her a price limit of what you are going to spend on each child and let her know that a computer and I pod are not under that limit. That's what my mom did when I was younger, and with 2 kids of my own I still do the same thing. My mother in law has donated the money she was going to spend on Christmas to a needy family and made all the gifts that year. You could always tell her that if she wants it so bad she needs to earn it by saving her money, or tell her that she needs to save up half and you will meet what she saves, but not for Christmas.

Answer 6

My nephew was the same last year, he wanted a mobile phone, but his parents couldn't afford one. So the whole family, parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts put into buy him the phone... when Christmas day came around he got upset because he only got one present and everyone else got 4 or 5. Perhaps you could buy the smaller cheaper one like the other person suggested or get everyone to put in for the more expensive gift... but you'll still get attitude if she only gets one gift! Kids enjoy quantity over quality. When I was 9 I got a Barbie, some hair stuff and a stuffed toy for Christmas from my parents, god things have changed!!!

Answer 7

I say get it for her and forget teaching her a lesson at this time. They are only young once so you might as well spoil them. You can teach her in time what you need for her to know. You have the whole year to work with her on that, don't ruin Christmas. Maybe you two can volunteer somewhere so she can see first hand that people-in-need aren't lazy and dirty. Hopefully, she can see that sometimes the misfortunate are just normal people that are down on their luck and are in need of a hand. She'll see children her own age that would love to have any one of her old toys. Maybe then she will be able to appreciate how hard of a worker you are. She probably learn this stuff.... no later than age 13, enjoy your Christmas!!!!

Answer 8

If she is "demanding" a computer then I would tell her that she is too young to have her own. How old is the brother who was given a used one? If he is a few years older, then tell her that she can have one at that age if she shows that she can take care of what she has now.

If she has already broken an Ipod, I would not get her another one.

One way to tell her is to just sit her down and tell her plainly "You are too young for your own computer and you already broke an Ipod so you are obviously too young to have one yet." Tell her that she can have the things she wants when she can show you that she is taking care of the family computer and any other electronics that she may have.

Don't let her attitude make you change your mind --if she can get you to do what she wants by wearing you down, you will never have ANY peace!

Answer 9

Now may be a good time to teach your daughter about finances. Something my parents did and what I do with my daughter today is set a monetary limit on gifts. Explain to your daughter that you can only afford XX amount of dollars and her gift has to fall within that price. If you can only afford $100.00 for her gifts, tell her that and no more will be spent. She can then pick out what she wants that falls within that price range. She may still be upset but at least she will know that she is not getting the computer or IPOD.

Answer 10

It's not right for anyone to demand a gift. Until she learns to appreciate what she has and her parents then she shouldn't get those things. Maybe take her to a shelter and have her by a gift for a kid her age. The idea is to teach not punish. Teaching her to be thankful and to not put her value in things. (something that is very hard for all of us these days). It's the attitude that is important. I have a daughter and we struggle with attitude issues some times. It is very difficult for me to say no to her when she wants something but gives me a tude. I know that it is for her own good that I don't give in to her demands. I always try to give her options. If she continues down her "nasty" path, I give her the consequence. I tell her that she chose it and explain why she has to live with her choice. It's a hard road to be a parent, but just remember the goal. I really respect you for not just giving in. Hang in there.

Answer 11

christmas is all about giving kids a little more than what they deserves but you ar eright at it an expensive gift. but here is an idea have her earn Ipod points. Get a jar and fill it with ping pong balls and if it reaches the top (or any point you want) she gets the ipod but she MUST Clean her room, do extra chores like dry dishes or whatever you think she should do... Also have her donate some of her toys or buy a toy for toys for tots have her pick it out and wrap it and explainthat it is going to make a kid happy... oh and take ping pong away for bad behavior but still have her donate a toy.. i hope she earns the ipod..(computer is to much for a 9 year olds maybe age 12)