We have been divorced for 23 years! He is not in the US and wants to become a citizen and wants my help. However here is the problelm. He never paid one dime in child support and me and his child suffered. Well, I don't know how much my child suffered becasue I never let him. I bought my clothes from a second hand store to give him the best I could. My parents had passed away at the time and I was sooo alone.
Am I wrong to tell him that if he wants my help now he has to repay for all the suffering we went through? This is a real question and please only honest answers.
2007-10-30 11:24:14 · 6 answers · asked by luteachris 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you are willing to help him, I would definitely tell him that it will cost him a lot of money!
I would also ask him why he thinks you should help him at all.
If you sponsor him to come here, then you are responsible for him. You would be expected to support him if he is unable or unwilling to work. Are you prepared to do that for a person who left you to fend for yourself AND his child?
Before you agree to help him, I would talk to a lawyer who understands immigration law and be sure that you know what you are getting into. Do not put yourself into a position where you have to support him financially.
2007-10-30 14:07:25 · answer #1 · answered by Marilyn E 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe he would ask you for such a huge favor. Or maybe it's not so hard to believe. You really don't owe him anything. Besides if he was trouble before he would be more trouble now. You don't need him back in your life and if you have the power to keep him far far away, do so. He made you and your child suffer even though you took good care of your little one, I truly believe he would be up to no good this time around as well. Just don't answer his letters or calls, if possible. Doesn't he have anyone else to bother with this?
2007-10-30 19:21:01 · answer #2 · answered by Blurp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say why he wants to become a US citizen now. Your instincts probably tell you to say no and because of the way he has treated you you probably should, but why are you asking yourself these questions? Has he changed? Does he want to make up for the past? Only you can decide if you are willing to help him but find out what it is he wants first. You don't owe him anything but you will always wonder if you don't ask.
2007-10-30 18:39:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you still have a copy of the divorce papers or child support order, send him that. we have enough dead beat dads in this country already and do not need one more!!
If you don't have that, simply reply that he should have asked you 23 years ago but it is too late now.
2007-10-30 18:32:18 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you already know the answer to that. you don't owe him anything. helping him would only put him into more debt to you. but it's still your own decision how to deal
2007-10-30 18:32:23 · answer #5 · answered by just in case 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell him to eff off!!! He hasn't been there for you and his/your kid, but he is expecting you to do him a favor?? I think not!
2007-10-30 18:31:05 · answer #6 · answered by Angela O 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋