I was a bridesmaid for someone that I considered a very good friend. As her bridesmaid, I hosted one of her multiple bridal showers. I also purchased a dress that she picked out from an online wholesaler, and paid for alterations, shoes & accessories. Well now 2 days after the shower, my "friend" comes up to me & says that I'm no longer needed to be a bridesmaid. Her hubbys friend isn't going to be coming,(groomsmen) therefore there is no need for me. Because of the seating arrangements I'm also no longer invited to the wedding. (I would have been sitting at the attendants table if I were still invited) Because I'm no longer an attendant she can't add chairs to the already full tables. I feel that I was used. I asked her to reimburse me for my expenses. She said that she is not paying for items that she didn't purchase. I think she should at least pay me for my dress ($250) if not anything else. Is it wrong for me to feel that I should be compensated. I cant even attend now!!
2007-10-30 10:43:25 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I'm out nearly $1100...Ugh....I'm so MAD!!!! I'm glad to consider part of what I did for her as gifts...(purchused items to make the centerpeices, and assembled them, got the flowers for the bouquets....helped with materials for the hand made invitations she HAD to have...I put so much time and money into this.
2007-10-30 10:48:04 · update #1
I told her that I didn't mind not having a groomsman to walk with down the aisle...She said absoulutly not...it would look funny...I even suggested just the maids walking down the aisle and the groomsmen up front with the groom...She is not willing to do that either. We hadn't had any falling outs prior to this incident.
She said she wants her pictures to be perfect...but will me being a bridesmaid really make a difference in the quality of the photograph. It seems as though she knew I would be willing to help if I was obligated to by being a bridesmaid because she is springing this on my now just a couple days before her wedding. I feel as though I was used for my time and money.
2007-10-30 10:53:09 · update #2
All I can say is WOW!
I hope you saved every receipt for all your purchases- you'll need those if you take her to small claims court.
If this happened to me- this is what I would do. I am a letter writer. I would first make copies of all the receipts I had. Then I would write a letter to this girl- recounting all the expenses I paid because SHE asked me to be her bridesmaid. I would explain how wrong it was of her to attend a shower I hosted and two days later tell me that my services nor friendship are no longer needed. I would explain how her excuses of not having a groomsman to walk with in the ceremony and how I would ruin her pictures are poor excuses and show her true nature. I would say this all in a very nice letter and end it telling her how hurt I am that she took advantage of me and how disappointing her behavior is and could she find it in her heart to reimburse me the money for my expenses since she uninvited me to her wedding.
And then I would attach a copy of the receipts to a copy of the letter and send it to everyone I could think of. Her fiance- mutual friends- her parents- his parents. If I didnt have mailing addresses- I would scan everything and send out in a massive email. I am sure it would feel better to write a nasty letter- but a nice letter would have more of an impact.
Because that girl is WRONG on so many levels. You may not get your money back- but then again- this girl may be shamed into paying you back. It sounds like the friendship is over anyways.
Good Luck.
2007-10-30 11:21:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
I'd try taking her to small claims court...if you think your friendship is truly over and you don't care if it's ever mended. I don't know if you'd win, but it sure would be worth a try to do a 'Judge Judy' type thing on her.
She's a very selfish person to not even find a way to for you to attend the wedding. That is not the mark of a caring person or a friend. Having a bridesmaid without a groomsman would have been perfectly acceptable or they could have just had you come and look for an empty chair---there is always someone who doesn't come at the last minute or who hangs out at the bar and never sits the whole night.
I don't blame you for being upset. This was a terrible thing to do to a person.
2007-10-30 11:37:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
This is the most bizarre thing I have ever read on here and I've seen some crazy things. First of all, obviously the idea that she can't have an uneven wedding party is absurd. Most people do these days. The pictures will be fine. That's why you hire a professional photographer. Secondly, it's crazy to say that she can't add a chair to a table for you. What a lie! There is something else going on here. I don't think it really matters what it is because obviously the friendship is over. You should be compensated. I would send her a detailed listing of the items that you wish to be reimbursed for over e-mail. I would also tell her that if she doesn't pay up that you will be taking her to small claims court. (Tell her that even if you aren't, trust me she'll pay up) If you did take her you would win. Good Luck.
2007-10-30 13:08:55 · answer #3 · answered by Luv2Answer 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You've already hosted a bridal shower for her at which she attended and accepted gifts? And you've bought your dress and everything? And now you're out of the wedding because some fathead groomsmen isn't going to be there? Why doen't the groom have any other friends that can step in and take the other guys place? This is a puzzling turn of events but not uncommon. Did you actually receive an actual wedding invitation and R.S.V.P. ? I would total up the amount of money that you have spent, send the so called friend a registered letter and ask to be reimbursed for your expenses. If not explain that you will take her to small claims court. I will say in my experience I haven't seen a wedding yet where this didn't happen! I have seen more than one friendship ruined this way.
2007-10-30 10:56:46 · answer #4 · answered by doglover 5 · 10⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I would look into taking her to small claims court as someone else suggested.
I can't believe someone would sacrifice a friends feelings for a "picture perfect" wedding. The only picture perfect wedding is the one where you are surrounded by friends and loved ones and enjoy yourself. There will always be something that goes wrong and it's how you handle it that counts.
It is completely rude of her to ask you and then unask you and uninvite you to the wedding. that just takes the cake I can't believe how selfish and rude that is.
I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Although look at the bright side you will not have to deal with her on the wedding day. Believe me she is going to be a nightmare, and it will not be a perfect day. I'm sure something will go wrong and she will throw a fit. Oh well that is what happens when you are nasty, what comes around goes around!
If you can't get your money back you may be able to sell your dress on Ebay or Craigslist (or even whipads). Good luck!
2007-10-30 13:35:33 · answer #5 · answered by Reba 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I certainly hope she enjoys looking at her perfect pictures by herself, because if this is the way she treats "friends", she won't keep many of them.
As far as the money goes, I would think anything she specifically asked you to pay for should be reimbursed. Her wedding was the one and only reason why you spent money on those things. These aren't purchases you would have probably otherwise made.
You spent a lot of money to enhance her picture-perfect wedding, and she kicked you out for your trouble.
BTW, if the best man comes down with the flu two days before the wedding, will the maid of honor be dumped, as well?
2007-10-31 07:41:51 · answer #6 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Now this is a story for the TV Show "Bridezilla!"
OK....I can't believe:
a. She is worried about having an even number....that is lame;
b. Why are you NOT invited to the wedding AT ALL now....again...lame;
c. I don't believe the BS about not being able to put one more chair at a table;
c. She DEFINITELY used you!!
I would be spitting nails if I were you! You most certainly SHOULD BE compensated. I would think that this is THE END of any kind of friendship that you had. As a matter of fact, I can't believe that you would even want her as a friend anymore. I would gather all my receipts, etc. and take her to small claims court. This is the worst case of "Bridezilla" that I have ever come across!
She is an ex-friend.
2007-10-30 16:56:20 · answer #7 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is a Bridezilla. You went from bridesmaid to being uninvited? Wow. That's harsh.
Actually, it's nonsense. She could re-do the seating arrangements if she really wanted you to be there. It's also not unheard of to have different numbers of bridesmaids and groomsmen. Did you two have a falling out? I only ask because it seems totally bizarre for her to turf you out entirely without a damn good reason. You don't demote or un-invite someone unless that person did something horrible. The 'groomsman isn't coming' reason is all she gave you? that's crazy.
If you can't get a refund for all the items you bought, she absolutely should reimburse you.
2007-10-30 10:54:13 · answer #8 · answered by SE 5 · 11⤊ 0⤋
Is this truly all there is to this? If so she is a downright little biatch and I would definitely be asking for my money back. She did use you and I dont understand how she can possibly live with herself. I cant believe anyone would be so rude and mean.
No Longer invited to the wedding? That is just rediculous, I have never heard of anyone so horrible.
I would end this so called friendship here and now. I would not spend a penny more on her and i would be demanding at least the dress be paid for.
I think you could legally sue for costs. Tell her you are going to anyways, it might put the wind up her enough to cough up.
2007-10-30 11:15:34 · answer #9 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The nerve! I've heard some despicable things before but this really takes the cake!
First of all--and by the way I'm a lawyer--get your receipts together and send her a letter with copies of the receipts and your total expenses and insist on being reimbursed for EVERYTHING or you'll take her to small claims court. Copy her fiance (her parents, too, if they are paying for the wedding). If she doesn't repay you within 2 weeks, go file a claim. Usually the small claims court will help you with this.
Second, except for whatever contact you need to have with this woman to recoup your losses, write her out of your life. Don't attend her wedding, even if she "finds a place" for you. This is too much.
2007-10-31 12:42:10 · answer #10 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋