I was given a beautiful diamond ring from my boyfriend for a birthday gift. There was never a proposal, he called it a "ring, ring" Although I took it as an engagement ring, our relationship never furthered. I continued to see him (we never lived together) but I always thought we would be living together soon. Shortly after the ring was given, he told me within a year we would live together, that never happened. I felt like the ring was on my finger just to keep other men away. I loved this boyfriend, but when he was dishonest with me, and I found out, I took the ring off and we split for a few weeks. We got back together for another year or so, but he never tried to make our situation right, the only one who gave it any effort was me. So we ended up splitting, this time for good. Now he wants the ring back. Should I give it to him, or keep it because it was a birthday gift without a proposal?
2007-10-30 10:35:35 · 25 answers · asked by mixemup 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Nope. A gift is a gift. It's yours. Even the law will back you up on that.
2007-10-30 10:38:33 · answer #1 · answered by מימי 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
A gift is a gift. An engagement is another thing. Keep the gift. However, since he has asked for it back, chances are you would never really enjoy wearing it and if you did, you would think of him and in a not so nice way. Have you given him an expensive gift that you might ask for as a trade? That would only seem right. He sounds like a guy who was "showing off" for someone if he bought it and intended it to just be a "loan"....I think he used the ring to use you. You are lucky to have him out of your life. I think I would give back the ring so you have no connection to him whether be directly or indirectly. Point out that "loaner gifts" are tacky...like the purchaser...but make sure you are farther than an arm's length away.
2007-10-30 17:44:08 · answer #2 · answered by Sally M 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does not sound like an engagement ring to me.
An engagement ring comes with a request for marriage. The acceptance of that proposal is sealed with a ring. If the marriage never happens, the ring should be returned.
A gift, however, is not a promissory item, however, and if you are confident there was no obligation hinging on that ring, you may keep it.
That being said, are you sure you WANT to wear this jerk's stupid ring?
2007-10-30 17:56:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, he doesn't get the ring back. IF there was a proposal, he would have the right to ask for it back, but since it was given as a birthday gift, he has no right to it. Besides, he is dumb enough to give a diamond ring without a proposal. There are soooo many other gemstones with little or no meaning that he could have chosen - diamonds MEAN something!
2007-10-30 17:43:13 · answer #4 · answered by takemymulligan 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It was a birthday gift, period. He never proposed; you simply envisioned that part. So from a legal standpoint, it was a gift and you are not obligated to return it. He also has no proof that you said you would pay him for it, which you didn't, so he couldn't take this any further than bugging you for it.
However, sometimes relationships end nasty and things can go bad fast for something silly. If the ring means nothing to you and you don't want it around, just return it. Ultimatley, the choice is yours. But if I were you, I wouldn't. You aren't asking for any of his birthday gifts back are you?
2007-10-30 17:40:33 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It was a birthday present. He doesn't get it back. But even if it was an "engagement" ring, in cold, hard terms, the ring serves as collateral for the next step. A step he, evidently, never planned on taking, but used the ring to buy himself some time, so one could really call it a "pacifier". Anyway, it sounds like you've invested alot in this relationship so don't walk away empty-handed. Take it to a jeweler and have it remade into something else. Or sell it and put the money in your IRA.
2007-10-30 17:57:41 · answer #6 · answered by DREN J 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If it was a gift, then he has no right to it back. The fact that he would even ask makes me wonder what type of person this guy is.
However, I also wonder, why, when he specifically told you the ring was not an engagement ring, did you completely ignore that and decide in your own mind that it was?
2007-10-30 17:39:46 · answer #7 · answered by slushpile reader 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Are you going to wear it, or will it just bring back bad memories? Or even worse, if you do wear it, will it scare a new guy off...Hold you head high and give it back..Who cares if it was a gift. You can be proud that you can't be bought, and better yet, he's the one that looks like a loser for asking for a gift back. If you keep it, he'll always have that connection with you.
2007-10-30 18:00:05 · answer #8 · answered by dozertank 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was a gift, and you're entitled to keep it. That said, I'd give it back anyway.
Would you ever wear this ring in the future and not have bad memories? Make a clean break. Be the bigger person. Give it back.
2007-10-30 17:43:43 · answer #9 · answered by TLH 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GIVE THE RING BACK.....why do you want to wear and possess a diamond ring from a guy you broke up with, your paragraph is so unclear as to your boyfriends intentions, let's give him the benefit of the doubt... after all you took it as an engagement ring and this is what engagement is...a trial period for the couple....
2007-10-30 18:37:06 · answer #10 · answered by mj 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Keep it as a restitution for having wasted your time on him. He gave you the ring as a b'day gift. He can't ask for a gift to be returned once he gave it away. If he does he's called an "Indian giver".......asking for a gift to be returned. He has no legal right to it now. It is legally yours.
2007-10-31 07:15:02 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋