just wanted to share a poem i wrote (my first after a 20plus year lapse in writing poems): Innocence Returned
mine heart rejoice in magical serenity, conjured
fairies tread softly beside me,companions of my youth
incorrigible,laughter reverberating, tranquil
innocence intermingled with gaiety
i am young,i am loved,i bounce!
mine eyes amplified, enforced awareness, acquisition
of knowledge reluctantly gained,buoyancy flees
unabated, inwardly innocence betrayed, palpable
fears undefined pulsating heinously
i am young, i am lost, i succumb
mine ears rumble,indiscriminately defiant
enchantment renounced unwittingly, disintegrated
laughter, sanctuary defiled mercilessly
confusion, revulsion, self-loathing
i am young, i am angry, i am defunct
mine spirit renewed, umbrage dispelled willingly
omnipotent arms embracing, poignant
comforting turbulent waters, transversed, repentant
innocence returned, indebted, delivered, reverent
i was lost, i am found, i am loved!!
2007-10-30 10:18:32 · 3 answers · asked by Orita 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
yeah i know i shud went to the poetry section maybe but i thought it appropriate here as im looking for feedback from christians...i dedicated this poem to "all those that are lost may they find their way back to you Lord"...for atheist who wish to comment pls do not take "lost" as a derogatory term..
2007-10-30 10:21:51 · update #1
gypsy:...LOL...thnx for the postscript...i debated the "mine" instead of "my" i prefered what i wrote...appreciate your thoughts though ...writer yourself?...poems?...where can i read one of yours
2007-10-30 10:49:15 · update #2
guy whose name i cant read: i like your poem but it needs a little more thought put into it.....where did that come from?
2007-10-30 10:51:55 · update #3
thnx for the compliment...i like it too but then i wrote it myself lol
2007-10-30 10:54:00 · update #4
mmmmmmm, ah, well...
I'm not sure.
let me hear another one
Just a second here. I just read it again, deciding that as a fumbling writer myself, I shouldn't be so hasty.
I almost think I can totally relate!
I'll read it again. I think it's pretty good though the "mine" thing is not it's best strength in my humble, fumbling writers opinion.
Gypsy Priest
2007-10-30 10:23:06 · answer #1 · answered by Gypsy Priest 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure,
poetry is a bore,
doesn't satisfy my soul,
maybe I'm a mole,
and given more thought,
it still delivers naught,
Poetry equals sleep,
I'd rather sit and beep.
2007-10-30 10:23:30 · answer #2 · answered by ɹɐǝɟsuɐs Blessed Cheese Maker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I think music is the 'music of the soul'.
You're poem isn't bad though...
2007-10-30 10:23:32 · answer #3 · answered by Bye for now... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋