If a woman is with a man for a total of four years, exclusive with this man for three of those years, made the move from another state to live with him 7 months ago with the promise that the engagement is definitely coming....should she believe him? This is not for me, but a friend who is seeking many different opinions on the subject. So, ladies and gentleman....please give her all ya got! ;)
2007-10-30 09:38:55 · 7 answers · asked by Marina 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To set the record straight, I am already married. Sorry to disapoint the one cynic that decided to respond to my question. Anywho, they do have a great relationship, she has two children from a previous marriage, he has two children from a previous marriage and one of the reasons why they waited so long to have her move in was because they wanted to make sure everyone had time to adjust to each other. So, in a sense they did it right, but she's looking for a more solid commitment sooner rather than later. Sorry to have left out so many of these details, I just wasn't sure she wanted all her laundry aired out. I will definitely make sure she checks out all the responses, because she won't go on what i tell her alone and that is if they love each other and have a good relationship, then marriage is a piece of paper. It doesn't help that he lost a lot in his previous divorce and has had to take time to get over being burned.
2007-10-30 11:32:09 · update #1
I guess what she is looking for is security at this point, because she is getting on in life and doesn't want to waste her time if he isn't going to make the ultimate commitment. She has asked him to be straight with her time and again, and he has always said that he is going to do it in his special way in the time frame he has planned. To me this seems a little bit one sided because it should be about what they BOTH want at all times, but since he does want marriage ultimately and he is trustworthy and good to her and her children and she gets along well with his it won't hurt her to wait a while. Besides, men really don't want to be handed the Sophie's Choice. ;) Or do they?
2007-10-30 11:35:03 · update #2
PS----His mother does not approve of the relationship, thinks it's too soon for her son to be thinking marriage even though the divorce happend five years ago, and she also doesn't like the fact that my girlfriend has younger children because she feels that her son doesn't need that additional responsibility! As if it's up to her, right? So I guess that isn't helping matters since he has always been the golden boy in his parents eyes. Alright? Enough detail, HONEY????
2007-10-30 11:37:17 · update #3
It depends on his situation. Maybe he really is trying to plan a proposal but just can't seem to get to it. There's also the problem of buying the ring if he doesn't have a lot of money. Another thing about money is he probably wants to get you a beautiful ring worth a good amount which can be hard if he has other financial things to take care of. I'd say wait it out a little longer and believe him when he says it's coming.
2007-10-30 09:50:12 · answer #1 · answered by Sar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah . . . a "friend". Uh-huh! Right!
There sure are a LOT of "friends" on this website! ;)
Regardless, you didn't mention critical details. For one thing, maybe their jobs are interfering with the engagement (a lot of honorable guys won't marry unless they feel they can support a wife and kids; on the other hand, I will grant you that he could be dangling the engagement ring like a carrot in front of a rabbit!).
There are many other questions I can ask, but, given that this is probably a made-up story, it isn't worth my time and effort, and nobody could give a decent answer for a question with so few details.
Good luck, honey . . . I meant to your "friend", of course!
2007-10-30 10:43:27 · answer #2 · answered by skaizun 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well it depends.. Is he trust worthy? If he is then she should give it a shot. My best friend was with her boyfriend for 4 1/2 years waiting for an engagement ring. When she couldn't take the Wait anymore, she decided to break up with him and that same night, he proposed to her. So you never know.. But if he is a flip flop kind of guy, then I'll wait to see the ring First.
Good luck to your friend!
2007-10-30 09:45:53 · answer #3 · answered by melody 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would communicate with my man on how I feel and if he doesn' t choose tofulfill my wishes then I would let it go.
Her true love could be waiting for her somewhere. Time is precious and she has already given it 4 years and you just shouldn't have to make anybody marry you. A marriage should not be forced....
2007-10-30 09:46:23 · answer #4 · answered by JK 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him, If not tell him to marry you before you move what difference will it make. Four years sounds like a waist of time.
2007-10-30 09:44:59 · answer #5 · answered by NICE-1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, that's not even important if they love each other. For me, marriage means nothing but a signature on a paper.
2007-10-30 10:08:38 · answer #6 · answered by tibelev 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Free milk = not need for a Cow (not that your friend is unattractive)
By moving she set up a bad situation. If I was him I would be marrying her because she obviously love him.
2007-10-30 09:43:51 · answer #7 · answered by kyrie_eleison_gr 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋