How old is too old?

Question

My office is located just below that of a Pediatritian. Because there are moms coming in and out with their kids, I am accustomed to seeing mothers bring their sons into the bathroom with them, as they are generally too young to go unaccompanied.

Just a couple of minutes ago, I was in the ladies room, and when I opened the stall door, a young boy who was at least 10 years old went walking past me. His mother was standing by the sink waiting for him.

My question is, isn't that a bit too old for you to be bringing your son with you into the ladies room? He was clearly old enough to use the men's bathroom on his own.

Evilphoe,
Have you any idea how startling it is to see an 10-11 year old boy gawking at you in the ladies bathroom? My question was about whether or not it was age appropriate.

The child seemed fine to me. He was conversing with his mom through the stall like any normal 10 year old, and seemed to be quite articulate. I'm not bashing people here, and maybe there was an underlying situation that I didn't know about, but my question was not about taking a mentally or physically challenged child with you....it was about taking a normally developed child with you at that age.

Again, I am not trying to offend, and I don't blame parents for wanting to keep an eye on their kids. I have no children of my own, so I am not sure how etiquette works in this situation. I see no need for hostile answers.

Answer 1

truth be told, what can you see in a ladies room? Its not like we have bays of urinals or we're walking around unclothed in the restroom. Maybe he was developmentally delayed and not able to use the bathroom/wash his hands..etc without supervision. It doesn't bother me at all when people bring their sons into a public restroom.. if they didn't, other people would probably be complaining that they saw a young kid go into a public restroom alone.. Everyone's comfort level is different when it comes to letting their children be independent, its much better to err on the side of caution, in my opinion.

Answer 2

Well depending on how scary the bathroom and area is I sometimes make my 8yrld son go with me. It is a safety situation. Ever think maybe the boy was a special needs child?
I don't see the big deal but I'm sure at 10 my son would not have this. I mean you go in the stall unless the kid is peeking thru the cracks or under the door what's the big deal?
It's just another room.

Answer 3

well 10 yrs old is definetely too old unless he has a learning disability. I think around 7 or 8 with the parent waiting right outside is fine. It also depends where the bathroom is. A restaurant or hospital or somewhat safe environment should be fine but if you're at a rest stop at night or something like that maybe it is a good idea to accompany a child even at 10 yrs old.

Answer 4

Here's a situation apparently not many people here have thought of and it was the first thing that came to my mind.
My biological father was extremely abuse to my mother and his kids, and very very dangerous and unpredictable. When I was 9, my parents were separated. A judge ordered no visitation, only phone calls, and eventually no contact. Everywhere we went, he seemed to be there trying to hurt my mother, myself, or one of my sibling, and even kidnapped my sister at age 13.
When my mother used the public bathroom, I went with her, if I were a boy, I know it would not have been any different.
I know this kind of situation doesn't happen to everyone, but according to the center for missing and exploited children, " In 1999, an estimated 150,000 children were abducted. The vast majority of these children were taken by family members, not strangers."
As a parent, if I have any reason to believe someone might take my child, the rest of the world can go f*ck themselves, I'm going to do whatever I can to keep my eyes on them.

Answer 5

I think that this was definitely an inappropriate situation! Children that go to grade school from the age of 6 on up use the bathroom by themselves. This is a hospital, it is the pediatrics hall, it is a safe environment! Don't drag your children into the wrong restroom with you. Its probably uncomfortable for the children as well as the strangers trying to use the restroom. (I hate when little kids look under the stall doors at me)

Answer 6

Yes, 10 years old seems to be a little too old for being in the ladies' room w/ his mom.

However, since it's near a pediatrician's office - maybe she was worried about weirdos hanging out in the men's room looking for kids.

Besides having a developmental issue, the kid might be big for his age.

Answer 7

Not really. Over the last few years here (in Australia) there have been an awful lot of bad things happen to young children in public bathrooms.
I live in a rather small town in Australia and everyone here was quite laid back. Then a teenage girl I think she was 15 was stabbed in the public toilets located near Macca's in a very busy food court.
I often take my 12 year old niece out with me and my 2yo twins, and never allow her to go to the rest room by herself. Yes people argue that she is 12yo, but we live out in the country and when we travel into town she is not used to it. More so as well she isn't my daughter, but I know her mother is the same!

Answer 8

Yeah I guess that 10 yrs old is definitely to old. I´d also be bothered if I saw a 10 yr old boy in the ladies bathroom if I was there too. Its definitely not appropiate for a 10 yr old boy to be inside the ladies room cuz at that age he is already old enough to know whats going on and its not right for him to be in there peeking at ladies..

Answer 9

YES!!! Absolutely WAY TOO OLD!!! Sounds like she is a rather over-protective mother.

On the other hand, is the child mentally stable? Is there another reason that we may not be aware of as to why he needs to be "supervised"?

I guess I jumped the gun a bit ( Sorry Captain ) ... I guess we would really need to know all the facts before assuming we know what is best and proper. But, if the kid is "normal" then I stand by my first repsonse 100%

Answer 10

if it was like a 3 yr old boy that would be different but since its a 10 yr old boy yeah that is deffenatly to old to be doing that. My 8 yr old brother goes to the guys bathroom by himself all the time without assistance i dont think he should unless he has some kinda mental illness and needs help using the bathroom