everything is negative about him, he was never like this in the beginning and now that we are getting further in our relationship he gets worse. he acts like a kid and he is 28 years old and i'm 22. we have a son together. he complains of the house always needing to be clean when he gets home, he gets disgusted of me, when he is clearly the pig of the family, he has a bad temper, he is always yelling at me for no reason, he never repeats what he has to say. he gets mad at any little thing. he get aggravated when our son cries and then he blames me for it. we have been together for 3 years. and i'm tired of him treating me like i'm lower than him. and to add he like to hurt me. he plays rough with me and i think he does that to take his anger out. i need advice should i get out or should he get help? and plus i told him that i don't love him anymore. but i stay cuz i have nobody to turn to and i don't have a place to stay, i have no money and i don't work and stay at home with my son.
2007-10-30 08:05:39 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sounds like you "both" need to work on the relationship. It takes work on both your parts. He is probably feeling you are freeloading which gets him upset and you feel he is a mean lazy slob. Time to talk.
2007-10-30 08:12:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. My partner and I are experiencing some difficulties of our own. I hate feeling trapped because he supports us. I feel like I have no where to go that won't make me feel worse about life (i.e. my parents!)
You need to tell him that you are done with his behavior and he can either get help, or you're out of there! Start looking for a job now and talk to friends and family about helping babysit. You can always request assistance from the government, just to help you through the tough transition. You're so young (same age as me!); there's no reason you should settle for his aggressive behavior. It sounds like he's already abusive, so try and tell yourself the advice you would give a friend in your situation. (It's probably, "Get out while you still can!") I'll say a prayer for you, and keep reaching out to people, even if it's just online :)
2007-10-30 15:15:33 · answer #2 · answered by *coral* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really feel sorry for women like you. You get into relationships early in your teens, get pregnant then have no means of support other than the support of your significant other. Please do not make a victim of yourself any longer. Leave, do not look back. This situation is not going to get any better, and most likely will end up him hitting you and the baby. If you can go home to your parent/s do that, and please go to school so you will not have to be dependant on anyone ever again to take care of you. There are also battered womens' shelters who will help you get on your feet in your area. You and your son deserve a better life than the one you have now. Hugs, Sparkles.
2007-10-30 15:10:53 · answer #3 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are in an abusive relationship. It is not safe for you and your son to stay there. You will need to contact social services to help you get out of that relationship. He also needs help but let someone else him. Right now you should be concerned with yourself and child. Do not tell your partner you are going to leave him. Please do it now. All the best.
2007-10-30 15:21:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get some help, girl. There should very well be places in your town that helps women with this very problem. If you believe that maybe he can change for the better, try "marriage counseling." If you just want to get away from this abuse for good, then get out. If you think he might hurt you for leaving him, talk to an agency that deals with abusive relationships and they will protect you.
Good luck to you and your son.
2007-10-30 15:12:50 · answer #5 · answered by Mercury 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'mm going to tell you, like i told my best friend. get out before it's in a body bag if the abuse it to much to take. She was depended on him for everything they had 4 kids and had been together for 7-8 yrs. but all the while he had another family with 2 kids to add to the 4. One day she caught him and you kno what that bastard did beat the sh&t out of her. She came to my house and since it was dark i culdn't see clear until she came in..and when i tell you her face was just horrible, her ear was swollen her eyes were blood shot etc. I took her to teh hospital and we filed charges, the kids he never touched (ii give him that) but she got beat cus he was cheating!! me i'm the opposite i would of bounced whether or not i had money. I offered her to stay with me until she got on her feet, then the stalking started and he started sitting outside my window watching us, the kids were with him..he said she could leave but they couldn't so she agreed until she got her own place. Anyway she was working finally getting all the help from a shelter and they were setting up an apartment for her etc. She went to her old place to get her stuff to start moving (it had been 3 1/2mths) w/ another friend of ours (he wasn't supposed to be there). He convinced her to come back and she did after all my help she did. I stopped talking to her for a while b/c i wasn't allowed in her house cus i helped her try and get her **** together. About another 3 mths went by and she only got hiot maybe once a week. But one day enraged at her being on the phone w/ me he started beating her with it...fractured her skull, broker her nose, jaw, and cheek bone.....He went to jail for 5-10 yrs. and viwed to her when he came home she was going away for a longer time. So my advice is if your going to get out don't tell him where your going and with whom!!! Just leave and don't say a word if you feel he will hurt you really bad. I'm sorry but i had to write this so you could see the danger!!! he wasn't abusive till he got caught!!!! I guess the guilt he felt took over him.
She is doing well, but fears him and he will be eligible for parole 2008...she is scared to go to the hearing and frankly so am I but for her I will go...we pray he has to stay another 5 yrs...
2007-10-30 15:33:43 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first don't feel there is no one to turn to go to DHHR and find out about programs that can help you- then if you are a stay at home mom visit the fly lady in yahoo communities(it would then be your "job" to take care of the house etc.)-then wait four days and make sure this is how you really feel-then sit down and tell him you are tired and you don't wish to stay in a relationship that is as strained as yours and that if he wants to keep you in his life he needs to start treating you like a person
2007-10-30 15:18:43 · answer #7 · answered by suan b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First go out and find a job. Save some of your earnings then get yourself and your son out. I would venture to say that your partner has even alienated all of the friends and family you had from four years ago...
2007-10-30 15:10:27 · answer #8 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, he's a controlling abuser and it's only going to get worse. For the sake of your safety and sanity (and your son's) you need to get out. Find an abused women's support group and they'll help you find a temporary shelter for abused women and get you on your feet. And he's the father of your baby, so you can sue for child support.
2007-10-30 23:10:52 · answer #9 · answered by justme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the time to calmy sit down and talk about the problems you are having and see if you can resolve them without conflict at first. Then if things stay the same, file for a divorce.
2007-10-30 15:09:24 · answer #10 · answered by Dezzie. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋