Which does turn me on...however, I need more romance. I told him this on several occasions...Now, this weekend, he is taking me up north for a weekend of romance. My question is, how can a woman take a man's man and turn him a little mushy? I'm talking about turning me on emotionally more than physical. Is it possible?
2007-10-30 08:05:36 · 34 answers · asked by Rogue 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, I don't want to change him...I just want variety...come on guys lighten up!
2007-10-30 08:36:20 · update #1
it's possible but hard to do. I have the same problem with my husband. He's an animal in bed, which i don't mind. And I tell him that I would like some romance every once in a while. And honestly, It doen't happen unless I initiate it. He'll come upstairs and I will have candles lit, a blindfold and a little feather thingy... Get creative but make sure that you stay in control of the pace. Trust me, it is worth it!
2007-10-30 08:10:28 · answer #1 · answered by GMC1003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Flower Girl has obviously never been with a man who didn't meet her emotional needs in bed... lucky her.
As for those of us who have aggressive, "cave men" boyfriends... well I've told my man on several occasions that I'd like him to be a little less rough and a little more romantic... and he tries. However, if I don't let him know how I want it, he'll do it how he wants it. I think you're going to have to compromise because it's not possible to change what turns him on completely. If he does his best this weekend to romance you, why don't you try and be a little rough with him the next time in return? Compromise is the only way it will work. Good luck! :)
2007-10-30 08:12:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in this situation before with my ex girlfriend. Try not to use the word change, for it will make most people very defensive. It is possible to ask them to "try" something different. Remember, most males surround themselves with other males who mostly talk about how they have had sex with other women. Guy's will very rarely if ever talk how they were romantic with their spouses to other guy's. Just isn't natural for them.
Best thing to do is tell him stories of how you heard what other men have done for your friends and how it made them feel when they were romatic with their girlfriends. Then say how amazing that would be if you two were to try that because the sex already is amazing and him being romantic would just top it off. Play to him as if has been doing nothing wrong, only great stuff but showing some romance would really turn you on. If the guy is really in sync with you, you shouldn't have to do anything and he should already be stimulating your mind as well as your body but some guys just need a little push.
Now, in guy's defense seeing as though I am one, there have been many girls I have heard about with the same issue. So, men you are not alone. Thanks for your time.
2007-10-30 22:36:53 · answer #3 · answered by scarroll2ca 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The last I heard sex was a mutual thing involving two (or more) people. In order for it to be mutual, BOTH partners need to be happy. Otherwise it practically just rape. So if you need more romance, and your boyfriend is supposed to love you, then he should deliver. You let him me the cave man on occasion. He should reciprocate and do what YOU want sometimes, if not HALF the time. Not only is this possible, but if you want your relationship to last and be happy, it is NECESSARY. Talk to him. Tell him what you want sometimes. COMPROMISE. If he won't do it, then he probably is not very good boyfriend material. Good luck!
2007-10-30 08:10:57 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hunny, if he's an animal in the bed, keep it that way. Save the romance for during dinner, sitting on the couch watching a movie, whatever. What every man wants is a Lady on his arm, a woman to do the house work and a whore in the bedroom. Just surprise him one night and be the "CAVE-WOMAN" that this cave man is looking for. Keep the romance for outside the bedroom. You are able to have the best of both worlds and you don't even know it. By all means, you chuck him out, send him to me. lol. (seriously !!)
2007-10-30 08:13:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Take action yourself. Do things to him the way you'd want them done to you. Try to catch him off guard- when he's not in the mood. Whisper to him. Stroke his hair. Whisper things like "Slow down baby...we've got all night. " This drives my boyfriend CRAZY when he's moving really fast. If he's being really aggressive kissing you, pull his face away from yours and look in his eyes. Just do all you can to really slow the action down and maybe he'll get the memo. Tell him your fantasies. If you're comfortable, tell him EXACTLY what you want him to do to you and how. It's really all about communication and using your body language to convey what you want.....it takes two to "tango", so if one of you's being aggressive and cave-man like and the other is being very sensitive and sensual...then your sex would probably be very akward and one of you would have to alter your behavior to match the other's. So if you just take it very slow- do everything slower and more sensually- then he should really have no choice but to slow down and take time to "make love" to you as well. Take a lot of time kissing. Undress very slowly. Give eachother lots of foreplay before you get to the sex. And while the sex is going on, just be in his ear constantly telling him what you want. Hope this works for you, honey!
2007-10-30 08:17:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When he is so aggressive grab him, push him on his back and tell him, "Slow down Fred Flintstone, it's my turn" Then do soft gentle things to him and tell him how excited and turned on you are right now. Later tell him you love his cave man approach but also love his gentle times as well.
2007-10-30 08:14:51 · answer #7 · answered by rtzjim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, this is what i have to do sometimes, because i have a mans man, he isn't very romantic. So I start to be romantic, in hoping he will catch on. Do the classics, such as lighting candles, turning on slow soft music (make a cd before hand of all the good songs). Set the tone of the night, then he will soon catch on to the way things should be (romantic). Take his hands, and slow rub them on you, show him how to touch you like you like it. (some guys need to learn how to touch a girl right.)
2007-10-30 08:11:29 · answer #8 · answered by I Love my Baby Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop with the "expectations" - if you want something, YOU figure out how to get it. Only you know how you want to be kissed, touched, caressed, & what feels good to you... Then you tell him to lay back & let YOU make love to him!!! If he tries to take control, tell him "not this time, Sugar" - guys LOVES this & you learn how to get a guy to please you - while you are pleasing yourself! They will still want their way of "caveman" approach. However, there is a happy medium! It's just up to YOU to take charge of what it is you want!!! Oh, & never try to approach the subject outside of the bedroom... A man's ego cannot handle being told what to do. You have to show them & tell them while in the throws of passion!
2007-10-30 08:14:06 · answer #9 · answered by T. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit by the fire sipping wine and talk about life. You asked him for more romance and he is making an attempt. Do not go with an agenda, just let things happen as they do.
2007-10-30 08:11:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋