Why is it stupid people with no life ask why you are not married or when is the big day? My 3 brothers and I in our late 30s to 40s are not married or do not choose to get married. My parents were married 40 years and everyone assumes we will get married as well.
Why don't people mind their own business.
My Comeback is: We are a gay family. Haven't you heard 4 kids are all gay? Then they just leave in shock.
2007-10-30 06:54:22 · 28 answers · asked by DREENA 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I have not come up with a good reply yet, but I think people should think before they speak. I am already selfconscious enough about it as it is.
Kinda makes you want to say stuff like why are your teeth yellow, was that really the look you were going for, have you had that big wart between your eyes looked at?
2007-10-30 07:10:10 · answer #1 · answered by Cold Heart 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Marriage is a big step, I've been married b4, and it's all what u and the partner makes of it, it's not like a girlfriend, or boyfriend thingy, because if it was, u can just leave but not with a spouse, so don't worry about what other ppl say or think, u & ur 3 brother get married when the time is rite. Take Care
2007-10-30 14:00:04 · answer #2 · answered by missnubooty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Haha, I love your comeback. I think that's a hard situation for everybody. Most people don't get why you might not want to get married when you've had such a long example of marriage. Its just kinda fact that most people get married and have kids. I understand your frustration but at the same time, it's not wrong of them to ask. Getting married and having kids is kinda the norm. If you have reasons why you don't want to get married just tell them its that you don't want to. Or if you just haven't found that person yet, tell them you're pickier and only want the best. Being picky is NOT a bad thing. Good luck!
2007-10-30 13:59:54 · answer #3 · answered by Katie T 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is just a "couples" society and people are used to making small talk around it. I can't tell how many people assumed we were already married when we dated, especially when we were buying supplies in Home Depot! We are in our mid and late 30s and some people even said "your kids..." when we were neither married nor had kids. I never took offense because I think you just sort of take your frame of reference and speak from it. Most people, especially older people, are used to talking to couples as married couples. Saying you are gay (assuming you are not) is not a good thing to do in my opinion because when and if they find out you are not the assumption will be that you were covering being uncomfortable with the suggestion with a joke. Be proud to be whatever you are and be prepared to calmly defend your choice.
2007-10-31 22:49:29 · answer #4 · answered by PixdeeArtist 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Agreed - those questions are really irritating. My fiance and I were together for 3 years before deciding to get married, and for the last 2 years that's ALL we heard from people. "You're in your 30's?? Why aren't you married yet??" I was declared an Old Maid at the ever-so-ancient age of 29. lovely.
Presumably we can now look forward to people asking us when we're going to have kids!
I just look at people, fein a bit of surprise, and say "Wow! I had no idea we're THAT interesting!"
By the way, your response is hilarious! that's great!
2007-10-30 16:23:10 · answer #5 · answered by SE 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all it is NONE of any ones business why you are your brothers are not married. That is a very ride question to ask.
Are you happy are you fulfilled are you enjoying life?
Marriage is not the answer to everything or the answer to all life's prayer.
Yes I am married 14 years but it has not always been easy and single single should not be pitied by people but be celebrated by people.
People should mind their own business and I give you and your brothers credit that you chose not to get married. Too many people think marriage is the solution for everything and wind up divorced.
2007-10-30 15:06:34 · answer #6 · answered by encourager4God 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are right, it is quite a nuisance to be asked several times or even make a big issue out of choosing not to be married...Possibly those people just want to talk to you, have nothing to talk about or they are genuinely asking questions because they also want to be like you guys because they just can't explain why they also dont care much about getting married.
Don't worry, there are so many people out there who knows the pressures of getting married. So, don't think that most of the people you know thinks you are family of freaks...NO!! I believe most of the people who knows you and you siblings sees you as very responsible kids, well-raised by your parents.Such that all of you understand very well the responsibilities you have to assume when you get married. Goodluck...
2007-10-30 14:05:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anita 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think people realize how intrusive or rude they are being when they ask questions like this. I, too, am one of four children. However, all of my siblings married in their 20s. I'll be 49 on my wedding day (I'm now getting the "what took you so long?" questions--equally rude and intrusive). Try living 25 years with married siblings and people asking when you're going to join them in wedded bliss--at least you're all in it together. What's just as bad is people asking my sister--married over 20 years--when she and her husband are going to have children.
I don't know why people think such personal information is their business. I blame an increasingly open "reality-TV" world. I never felt like I had to explain myself or my life choices to people. When asked when I was getting married I would just look at them with a shocked expression and change the subject. Most people understood they had crossed an etiquette boundary.
2007-10-30 14:11:41 · answer #8 · answered by Trivial One 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
LOL! I don't know why society has to define most people as "unsuccessful" if your not married, in a relationship or have children? It is 100% acceptable to be single and childless. more and more people are making this decision for their lives. They want travel, get an education, and much more. Having a commitment to someone else changes your life and your lifestyle. I have known alot of people who are single, career minded, happy individuals who don't care to have a commitment to someone else.
I was like that in some aspects. I was single for 6 years between my marriages. I did what I want and went where I wanted. NO ONE controlled my life. I had many say to me, "Oh you need a husband." my quick response use to be, "Don't want one, don't need one." That was until i met my sweety....and NOW I've been re-married for almost 7 years,and have one handsome little boy. :)
So I hope this helps. good luck.
2007-10-30 15:22:36 · answer #9 · answered by dietitian4u 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People just ask because it is (or rather was) the norm for people to marry and have family, society is changing and it is becoming more common for people to never marry, you don't have to, it is not the law. I don't think you need to resort to such a crude reply, all you have to say is "I don't want to get married, end of story". Besides, Gay couples DO marry nowadays so your comment about being gay isn't really applicable anymore.
2007-10-31 06:34:16 · answer #10 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They just think they're making conversation...somehow don't realize its an annoying question that grown unmarried adults hear over and over again. I'm 38, and marrying for the first time in a few months, so I have heard the ? myself. I quite enjoyed my single time, and I always just said I wasn't involved with anyone right now. I don't think being rude is necessary or a good way to deal with rudeness. I also would say, oh, I'm not ready for that yet, and smile...they usually make some joke about the wife and drop it.
2007-10-30 14:10:58 · answer #11 · answered by melouofs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋