When I go on dates...?

Question

When I go on dates, the guys that I happen to be attracted to are the ones that are going to hurt me the most. I dont exactly understand this but every time I like someone, I keep thinking, "Dont worry he is going to be better than the last guy!"

Here is me...and Im proud to admit it...


I can be annoying sometimes,
I can talk alot,
I can have bazaar and violent mood swings,
I can be a violent person sometimes,
...

My friends tell me that, that is EXACTLY why they like me because Im fun that way... You never know what is going to make me mad or punch you or soemthing..lol

I have a low self esteem, I dont think Im very pretty but Ive already gotten past that...

I just dont know what it is that Im doing wrong...

Im myself, I am very sarcastic, I joke around... ALOT... what more can I do.. I am the best of myself as I can be... Is there something wrong with ME?

Ok... I see some of you are misunderstanding what im saying so I will go into it a lil more. Im not RANDOMLY violent... and Im not talking about beating the crap out of you. I mean like, if you say something to make me mad.. Ill hit you on your arm, NOT HARD.. but Ill hit you hard enough to let you know it pissed me off....

I also am not randomly violent... I just mean like.. well.. for example. If some guy hits my best girl friend.. I will (pardon my language) **** him up nasty... I dont care who you are.. I will beat the crap out of you if you mes with my friends and family. Im just protective is all.. not randomly violent...

Hope that clarifies it for you a little better...

Answer 1

Your friends may simply be telling you what they think you want to hear OR...
...that type of behavior is entertaining to them because you probably say and do the things that they don't have the courage to do; however, it's not the kind of behavior that makes for a lasting romantic relationship.

I doubt that those extreme behaviors are truly who you really are. They are what you use as a defense--to keep people from seeing and knowing the real you. This is typical among those with low self esteem.

As you mature, you will hopefully learn to temper the more extreme behaviors. In the meantime, you're probably scaring off the opposite sex--but maybe you have a deep-seeded, subconscious desire to do that because it's preventing you from having to deal with rejection issues.

Talk to a counselor. Give yourself some time to discover what your strengths are and determine what habits need to be controlled. You'll gain some confidence and become a better person and long-term friend.

Answer 2

Screw all these people telling you that there is something wrong with you. You are who you are and its people like you that make this world such a great place to live in. You can't blame yourself for the way other guys have treated oyu. You can be a little more cautious when you date someone and try to understand what feelings you may be forcing them to feel with your self proclaimed "bazaar and violent mood swings". Dudes liek crazy chicks untill they go crazy on them. If nothing works out for you, check out my 360 profile and contact me.

Answer 3

Frankly, yes, there is something wrong with you. Being quirky is fine, but being unpredictably violent is not only unfair, but a sign of mental instability. Your friends may claim to be okay with it, but they are probably just too afraid to tell you the truth.

And you haven't "gotten past that" if you're still talking about your low self-esteem and how you're not pretty. You're just ignoring your self-esteem issues, and it's causing you to lash out in unexpected and inappropriate ways.

My guess would be some sort of bipolar disorder, and you need to get this treated before you even think about dating again, much less expect any sort of improvement in your social life. GO TO YOUR DOCTOR and tell him all your symptoms listed here, and discuss possible treatment options - therapy, medicine, etc.

Answer 4

You have answered your own question....it is the low self esteem that is keeping you from unlocking who you really are, growing to your full potential, and then finding a worthy person that can compliment that instead of YOU always trying to switch yourself up to be everything to someone else. Focus on you, and the rest will fall into place. ;) Easier said than done, but you can do it, and there is NOTHING wrong with you!

Answer 5

If you are having mood swings, and can be violent, and talk a lot, you might want to talk to your doctor.

I don't think it's a lot of fun to be violent or to be at the receiving end of hitting.

Also, there are a lot of websites on improving self esteem -- just do a Yahoo search.

If i knew you, i'd avoid you.

Answer 6

I didn't read this question, but I wanted to reply to your reply and you don't allow user-user communication.
I clicked on a profile to read and I thought I was clicking on yours, it wasn't, it was another. I think it was the asker who was having a second child at like 15 or something. I didn't know this until after I posted that. I am sorry and as soon as I realized my error I revoked it. My apologies.