My b/f broke up with me a month and half ago and I said hurtful things, which I regret. Shortly after the break up He goes and drunkenly hooks up with some girl. He then comes back saying he misses me and he messed up. We both did some f'd up stuff with what I said and what he did but I do love him. If I do go into this, i want to go slow being friends first. Am I being an idiot?
2007-10-30 04:54:23 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't let him guilt trip you - or maybe you're just guilt tripping yourself?! You may have said some horrible things, but who doesn't during a breakup? He actually went out and DID something stupid... not you. I'm not saying he COULDN'T be a good boyfriend... but the odds are really against him. Why start off on a bad foot? Why not just start fresh with someone who hasn't hurt you?
2007-10-30 05:00:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You both are obviously very immature emotionally, and most likely, because it has only been a very short time since the breakup, you will BOTH settle right back in to the same patterns and behaviors you did BEFORE the break up.
Saying hurtful things, getting drunk and using another people, are direct indicators that "LOVE" is NOT the real emotion EITHER of you feel. LOVE does NOT seek to hurt, deceive, or play emotional games.
Once two people cross the border between friends and lovers, it is pretty much impossible to go back - either direction. As far as HIM "deserving" "another" chance, I want to know - are you saying the break up was ALL his "fault"? YOU did nothing?? It is more a question of "does this relationship stand a chance"??
No, you are NOT an idiot - it is a nice idea, but neither of you could handle it - maybe in a year or so, not now. You BOTH need some growing up to do.
2007-10-30 05:32:50 · answer #2 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think that you are being an idiot at all. If you admit that you both have messed up and you both love one another, it would be a good idea to sit and really talk about where the problems were and how to fix them so that they don't happen again. It's going to be hard to be just friends with someone that you care a lot about but if you stick with taking it slow like you mentioned, yall can probally work it out!
Goodluck!
2007-10-30 05:00:04 · answer #3 · answered by JamKal 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As long as you both truly love each other you can look upon this as a learning experience, a chance to see the worst side of each other,
If its true love maybe you wld never have done n said those things in the 1st place, or maybe you are both just pushing the boundaries to see how far you can push each other until it hurts. If it didnt hurt then it's definitly over.
But it hurt, so maybe if you can truly understand each others reasons and forgive there is a chance.
People are not perfect and it's a bit fairy tale to believe that you will never hurt the person you love. * *
2007-10-30 05:00:44 · answer #4 · answered by Claire 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
We all make mistakes but if you do decide to go back with him, you will have to forgive and forget. Every time you get into an argument just dont go back and mentioned the things that happened in the past, and dont do the finger I did this because of you or you did this and now I am like this.... Just listen to your heart and if you think you can love him like always and you will be able to forgive then yes, everyone deserves a second chance.
2007-10-30 04:58:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all is he in the habit of getting drunk and falling for other women?Question him whether or not he used protection! If you still love this man the two of you need to really have some heart to heart conversation. Your heart should able you to make a decision after that. HONESTY IS GOOD> You're not an idiot to try old love again. ONLY IF YOU'RE BEING BEAT. THAT'S BEING AN IDIOT.
2007-10-30 05:05:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes you are being an idiot... He went out and dipped hi wick checke her oil and now wants to come back to you because........? No way, you still love him.... What is love? He loves you? and he goes and gets layed? nono no no thats not love.. Love is a fight, a call saying he is sorry (even if it was not his fault--- not having his agresion on you satisfied by someone else) who was this girl any way? Sorry for being so mean talking but I am a man and I am giving you my perspective... You are young.. You need a good man.. One who does not "get drunk" and seek other woman because he is mad at you... He did it once and he will do it again.... believe me... Good luck and I do wish you much lo0ve..;Grant M in Pennsylvaia
2007-10-30 05:03:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you've made an excellent choice in taking it slow. Why rush into it? Man, why do kids always wanna go fast, you all act like you're gonna die the next day if you don't. Take your time. Talk to each other and learn about each other. Do you want to be another statistic in the history of divorce? I didn't think so.
2007-10-30 05:02:48 · answer #8 · answered by oldschoolelf 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How long were you together before the break up? Do you both agree on what led up to the break up? Just remember, that if you do go back, you will never forget what happened and it might be real hard to get comfortable with him again.
2007-10-30 05:00:57 · answer #9 · answered by Goldie 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No. If you don't want to be hurt again this is the best way to do it, just remember what the problems were that made you break up in the first place and do they still exist. Good luck
2007-10-30 05:00:49 · answer #10 · answered by nuisance 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋