i am a 18 year old male studnet. me and my high skool sweetheat are now in first year uni(same uni) and ve have been together for 16months. v lost our virginity together about 3 weeks ago. lately i just feel out of the relationship i dont know if its since v lost our virginity or its sumting else. i live on campus while she commutes so i m very bz with campus stuff and i dont have the time to talk to her as much as v use to. sumting just feels off the spark that was there b4 isnt there ne more when v go out i barely talk and b4 v use to talk a lot(3hrs) on the phone everynite now i dont even know wat to talk to her about on the phone. plz help i dont know wats happening should i break up with her(which i dont want cuz shes a girl tat only comes in ur life once) or should i put it on a break? how should i confront her with it?
2007-10-30 04:37:35 · 7 answers · asked by Mafia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
(1) Communication&trust is number one in any relationship. If after 16months you don't trust enough in her to express how you feel then why are you in a "relationship" with a girl to start with?
(2) Most high school sweethearts relationships end by the time they hit Univ. this is due to the fact that you are so busy with school and meeting different persons. I suggest staying single during college and dating other persons so you can learn about relationships as you enter adulthood.
(3) High school relationships are just a teenage puppylove phase and if you are not feeling it anymore then it's obvious this was not love. I had a few friends with "long term" relationships in HS and when they lost their virginity end of senior year it ended. This is called lust or infatuation. It's not real love.
(4) Do not stay with someone simply because you've been with them for what seems a long time or just because she's a "great girl". This won't be the first great girl you meet. It is unfair to keep her around if you no longer feel the same. If she's a great girl then let her be free so she finds sumone that can give her the love&respect (even after they have sex).
(5) The last thing i can think of is you have to look within you only you know why you feel... uncomfortable?..embarrased?.. after you had sex? Our parents point of view about extramarital sex may also affect us. I know when I lost my virginity at 19 to a fellow I didn't love but did have a relationship with I would feel embarrassed and uncomfortable afterwards, my parents were against non-marital sex. At that age I learned sex is nothing without love. Now I've been in a 9year relationship (same guy since I was a sophomore in college, first 2 yrs we dated other persons on and off, but now we know we love each other). Overall, Only you know whats going on but most importantly be honest to her and yourself. I hope some of this helps.Good luck.
2007-10-30 05:21:09 · answer #1 · answered by Big Love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having sex took the relationship to another level, a level you were obviously not ready for. It means more connection and commitment and this is what is making you feel uncomfortable. It is as if you now feel obligated to call her and be with her, and being with someone due to obligation takes the fire out of the relationship. It also means you respect her and feel this obligation towards her. I'd say talk to her about it. Be gentle with your words. You can ask her if the way she feels towards the relationship is different. Maybe couples therapy can help you both work through this phase in your relationship. I would not say it is something to break up over. All relationships go through many different phases, at times one can feel they are not that excited about the one they love, this passes and then the relationship gets back on track again. Best of luck to you!
2007-10-30 05:30:14 · answer #2 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Sex changes relationships.
2. What's there to "confront" her with? You're the one that feels different. Are you blaming her for how you feel?
3. A break is a break up since she will then be free to see other people.
4. If you can't talk to her, why are you with her?
5. Sparks fade over time.
2007-10-30 04:41:43 · answer #3 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's probably you guys just being nervous after sex... you guys will get back into it... my friend had the same problem and broke it off and she regreted it forever... in my case, when i lost my virginity to my bf we were much closer to each other and talked more and were able to be more open with each other. you should just sit down and have an open talk...
2007-10-30 04:44:12 · answer #4 · answered by Tano A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should make time atleast once a week or more to just be together alone u have to make time.
2007-10-30 04:46:01 · answer #5 · answered by B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, next time you ask a question, hit that link that says "Check Spelling"
For your issue, I'd help, but I don't know what the hell you're saying
2007-10-30 04:42:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need this handy-dandy list of properly spelled words more than you need relationship advice.
School.
We.
Something.
Busy.
Before.
Any.
What.
Please.
That.
Your.
2007-10-30 04:42:45 · answer #7 · answered by Takfam 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋