Excessive porn worked for me last time, its not working now... I just feel guilty... any other ideas -- by the way, I can't see someone else, this is virtually impossible because I'm 20 and only one girl has ever given me a chance... it was good for a while, but she disappeared...
2007-10-30 04:32:12 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What is missing from your life?
What hole do you have that you think a woman can fill? Why can't you fill that hole yourself? Are you not feeling fulfilled? Not feeling accomplished? Not feeling understood? All of those things can be assuaged without a relationship if you choose to lead a life that you can be proud of.
Life is not meant to be lived for someone else. Your life is meant to be lived for your happiness. If you're not happy, then you need to change how you're living your life, not bring someone else into your gloomy little emo world. Stand up and do something. Join a club, get a hobby, start a research project. Do SOMETHING that interests you. The rest will start falling into place after that.
2007-10-30 04:36:26 · answer #1 · answered by Takfam 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If porn works then you just miss sex, not the person or relationship. That doesn't even make sense?
It takes time to heal and readjust to life after a break up. Perhaps spend you time doing more productive things, besides looking at porn. I don't think there is anything abnormal about looking at porn and nothing to feel guilty about... but porn in excess can be a problem in itself.
Hon, you gave the girl a "chance" as well. You both tried to have a relationship, and for some reason, it didn't work out. You have a lot of time to meet someone else, but for now, find things to occupy your time in a positive way.
Perhaps start a walking and exercise program for yourself. Believe me, a good walking routine can help clear the mind and gives a person quite a lift.... you will probably start looking forward to it, once you start.
Also, do things with friends...
You can do a Yahoo search for SURVIVING A BREAK UP or LIFE AFTER A BREAK UP for helpful information, support and advice. I hope you will... lots of helpful resources on line.... take care.
2007-10-30 04:41:53 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well moving on is different for everyone. So there isn't one way to do it.
I fell in love and it wasn't reciprocated and even went bad. I was hung up on this guy for a year. At first, it was all I could do to hold it together. But I just got up each day and continued living. That's all you can do. At some point, it just gets better. Easier.
Then went you aren't thinking of that person repeatedly, other people become interesting.
I say just keep living. Do your thing. If you feel sad then feel it. Don't fight it. Play sad love songs or whatever it is you do when you feel sad. Do not call her. Do not answer her phone calls. You will get over her, and you will move on.
When you are ready.
2007-10-30 04:39:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you that moving on isn't easy. It takes a lot of time - especially when you really like the person. I think the best way to go about it is to just go out and meet other people - whether at a park, extra-curricular activity, club, job, etc. Chances are that you'll eventually meet a girl who has a lot in common with you. You'd be surprised at how many single 20-year-olds there are in this world.
2007-10-30 04:38:30 · answer #4 · answered by Nitro 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean by "not working" and/or "move on"? There is a lot that you are not telling us.
I assume that you are lonely, and you are having trouble finding a girl, and that you feel like you have nothing better to do with your life.
That might be part of your problem; no girl is going to want to date you if you seem desperate for a girl. Likewise, no girl is going to want to date you if you have no life and no friends, because it makes you seem desperate. No woman wants the burden of knowing that she alone is the sole source of your happiness and entertainment. You need to learn to find fulfilment in yourself before you can expect someone else to be attracted to you.
You need to find some interests or hobbies that get you out of the house, and that allow you to incidentally meet other people. Not watching TV, and not playing computer games, but something that actually brings you into contact with real people. This give you something to do (so you are not thinking about girls all of the time), it teaches you new skills, and helps you build up your social skills so that you are not so awkward around girls. Learn a martial art, take a pottery class, take a dance lesson (good way to meet girls), travel, go bike riding, or whatever you enjoy doing that gets you out of the house.
If you are more of a well rounded person, you will be more self confident and secure, and you will have some interesting things to talk about; both of these things will make you more attractive to the opposite sex.
A word of caution; when meeting women, you must realize that there is nothing that works on every woman. Accept the fact that some people just won’t like you for any good reason. But there are certain things that help improve your chances.
Women tend to be attracted to certain personality traits. The problem is, most guys don't know what those are.
Self-confidence, being funny, being able to maintain good eye contact when speaking (this is a big one), being able to tell entertaining stories (hopefully about your own life experiences), not caring about what other people think of you, being able to blow off rejection like it is no big deal, having your own life & own interests, etc. tend to attract women.
Most guys do the things that repulse women instead: act too nice, too needy, too desperate, call too much, pay her too much attention, buy her expensive dinners & other things to buy her attention, never stand up to her, etc.
If you want to learn how to be good with women, find out which one of your friends seems naturally good with women, hang out with him, and watch what he does.
And sign up for David D’s free dating advice newsletter. I do not agree with everything that he says, but his advice is generally good, and it couldn’t hurt.
2007-10-30 04:51:02 · answer #5 · answered by Grandpa S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can find someone, but you shouldn't until you resolve your feelings about the one who left. It's not fair to drag those feelings into a relationship with someone else. Join a chat where you can talk to other lonely ppl and find a hobby! Make some friends & enjoy life. It's too short to waste!
2007-10-30 04:38:10 · answer #6 · answered by buckshotbullies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TAKFAM is correct,
my friend, what i hacve learnt from life, is not to take things too seriously, relationships these days hardly ever work, so work hard for yourself be what you want to be and achieve something...
after you have done that you will feel in a better place.
2007-10-30 04:39:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going to teach you a very important saying: "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else."
Trust me, don't make it serious and it'll work!!
2007-10-30 04:41:32 · answer #8 · answered by Shoeless Joe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
meet friends
spend time with them
because when you are busy doing something-you don't really remember how lonely you are (pretty much because you are not anymore) and you are not sad
I KNOW guy-friends love to laugh!!
so just have fun
2007-10-30 04:39:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to find something that keeps you busy and try to get better self esteem.
2007-10-30 04:41:02 · answer #10 · answered by B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋