Should I tell my sister that I think her son has autism?

Question

I just spent a long weekend with my sister and her 2 year old son. I strongly believe he has autism. I am a psychologist and am very familiar with the disorder and see several key features of the disorder in my nephew. Should I tell her, or hope that the pediatrician does?

Answer 1

You could suggest she speaks with her pediatrician in regards to the features you see and express your concern that she gets an opinion.
It shouldn't go undiagnosed any longer than it has but that way you are sure to come across as an concerned Aunt and not a professional making a diagnosis.

Answer 2

You should definitely say something to her, but stay out of professional mode and don't use the term autism. During your next conversation or visit with her, casually mention that it seemed little junior was somewhat delayed in his speech/socialization or whatever. Her reaction will tell you how to proceed from there. If she seems to be open to it, suggest that she check his developmental milestones- not just physical, but social and language as well. If memory serves many baby books have charts. There is also one at http://www.firstsigns.org . This will give both of you a feel for where he is.

Most pediatricians are surprisingly ignorant about PDDs, so she shouldn't rely solely on him/her. My son is almost 9- starting when he was 15 months I mentioned his total lack of language devel. to his ped. He was on target for all physical development. She just kept saying that I needed to have his hearing tested, even when I explained I knew he had no hearing probs.... that kid would come charging across the house every time the "Thomas the Tank Engine" theme song came on.

If she isn't ready to consider that there may be something wrong, you can't convince her. If she isn't, wait a little while and ask a few more gentle questions about his development to help open her eyes. The older he gets, the more glaring the delays will become.

Answer 3

I say yes I have a child with autism and because i thought in my mind he was normal I waited to take him to see now that he is 13 we are playing catch up. No one in my family wanted to hurt my feelings so they never said anything well look at me now playing catch up your sister will always be your family no matter what and it doesn't hurt to get your nephew tested BETTER SAFE THEN SORRY!!!!! Never wait never worry about hurt feelings do what you have to get all the information before you talk to her get examples of what her son is doing show her videos (u can get them from your local library) show the good and bad of the situation also tell her I just want to make sure he is OK and that no matter what you were just acting out of love for her and her son. Autism is happening a lot and more and more children have it then in the past year there is a whole website for it to help you determine before you approach her.

www.autism-society.org
www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/autism/detail_autism.htm
Start with these sites and you will find some great answers ok good luck and I hope all works itself out.

Answer 4

Since you are a psychologist, you are more experienced than the average concerned sister. I would keep an eye out, and maybe ask her what she thinks of her sons development, or maybe even sit down and watch the Oprah episode together of Jenny McCarthy, and maybe a light bulb will come on in her head. The worst thing you can do is try to diagnose her son yourself , or force your belief on her. Believe I know because, people are always trying to tell me my son has ADHD, and he's only 4, and it puts me on the defense. Try those, if nothing happens on her end. Then push the issue a little more.

Answer 5

I know how hard for you to say that to your sister but i guess you have to find a better time and place to tell her regarding her son who happened to be your nephew..tell her that you care thats why you need to let her know.For instance, ask her about her son..your a psychologist am sure you knew the best way to open up this kind of problem before it gets more worst. Now that his still young there's still a chance.
I guess your sister will appreciate it if not now perhaps later.

Answer 6

I don't think that you should come right out and say you think he has autism. But, you should suggest that he may have some delays and think he could benefit from further evaluations. If she asks you to be more specific, then maybe you can water it down at first and tell her you suspect PDD.
Let her Dr. be the one to really break the news.
If she doesn't really want to hear it, be patient and gentle, yet persistent. As you know, early intervention is key!

Answer 7

I sure wish someone had noticed something in my son earlier. He wasn't dx'd with Aspergers until he was 10.

Does your sister know that something is going on? Has she mentioned anything to you?

If you have a close relationship with her, I would carefully mention something and see how she reacts. Some parents will react badly at first, not wanting to admit that something is "wrong" with their child and it make take her time to talk about it.

Answer 8

I would not use the word autism but maybe be specific at what you are seeing and suggests she mention that to her pediatrician

Answer 9

Perhaps you could call the pediatrician. I know that HIPAA prevents the pediatritian from giving information to you, but you can certainly let the pediatrician know!

Some people don't want to think that there's anything different about their child, and there's something to be said about killing the messenger.

Answer 10

YES....you should tell her! Autism is easier to treat the earlier it is detected. I just told my niece she should have her daughter checked out. I wouldn't say you are so sure.....let the doctor be the one to do that. I would just say you don't really think it could be but get it checked out for precautionary reasons.