How can i become stronger emotionally?

Question

I have low-self esteem. i am a nice person so i think people take advantage of me. how can i be more outspoken and get what i want. i'm always afraid of being who i want to be, because of the consequences.

Answer 1

What consequences are you afraid of ? is it that you dont want people not to like you ? it helps to think of it like this; some people will like you more if you are outspoken and stick up for what you believe in, some people will dislike you for what they see as being weak.

I have had similar problems to you, im 37 now and thankfully i have overcome the issues that were keeping in my place.

The truth is, that you are no less worthy than anyone else in this world, you have just as much right to do and say whatever you think is right. It is really really difficult to do it, but it gets easier each time you do it. I started by speaking out with people who push in queues, or people who are rude for no reason, strangers are easier to speak out against because they don't have preconcieved ideas of what they expect you to say or do.

Whether you are a nice person or not is not for anyone else to decide, it's only you who has to live with you, and you mustve heard the saying 'you cant please everyone'.

Also you need to look for who is going out of their way to please you. If there aren't many, you need to think seriously about how precious your time is and whether you wanto use up precious moments in your life pleasing people who are just going to take the time and care you give without a second thought for you or your needs.

People like us do actually bring it on ourselves. If you think of it like a tap, if the waters always there we dont think to b grateful for it, but anyway, i do know how u feel, bcos i have been there for many years.

I dont think being brash is very nice, it's much nicer to be humble, but people will take advantage and you will be left to deal with your difficulties alone, so speak out, it takes a while before it comes naturally, but you will never regret taking that first step - Good Luck * *

Answer 2

I have the same problem. Do you cry easily as well? I think you need to discuss your problems with a psychologist. They can help you overcome your low self-esteem. You may even be suffering from depression and maybe meds. may help you. My low self-esteem caused depression and I was put on Prozac which did wonders! Don't let people take advantage of you. You need to learn to say "no". There is no simple answer on how to be more outgoing. Unfortunately, that is a trait we are ususally born with. There are shy and then there are outgoing people. You can learn to come out of your shell a bit and learn to speak up but you will probably never be outspoken! Like I said, these are all issues a good psychologist can help you deal with and I'd see a psychiatrist as well about maybe trying an anti-depressant (IT CAN'T HURT TO TRY, RIGHT???). I wish you the best of luck. I think if you follow my suggestions that you will find your life will change for the better. I know this because I am like you. I let people use me as a doormat and never stood up for myself. I also would settle for less than I deserve when it came to like jobs and boyfriends.

Answer 3

I see it various girls mind is very delicate.Dont cry . Find a good way and get solution of it.Do hard work for which is you want.In this world there are various girl who is emotionally not strong. ~Make a decision today. Decide that you want to be strong, to let nothing negatively affect you. Affirm this decision daily for the remainder of your life! ~Believe in yourself. Once you believe you are strong emotionally, you will unconsciously act stronger than before and begin to take control over your emotional whims. It's the same about everything you want to achieve, it's only about confidence. ~Don't show fear of anything. Act fearless.~Don't be afraid of tomorrow because it's made to be a mystery, a challenge for you. ~When you speak, make eye contact, speaking calmly, with confidence, about something you know well, and briefly. ~Learn from mistakes. Actually they're not mistakes , they're just lessons that you could learn from.Good luck.

Answer 4

u know it - u consider yourself less than what you actually are. that means you do think somewhre that you are excellent but what is it that makes you so low in front of others.
even if that someone doent talks respectfully your self worth makes you rationalise and understand what opposite person is talking about if u are wrong say yes and improve on it , if you are right and the other person trying to domiante you then its no point arguing....move on

the point is not being who yu are at the moment with you
its about handling a situation in a manner which is rational and practical.

nice is an indication that you are naive and ignorant hence beibg taken advantage of.....interact more and talk to more people and try to anlyse why and for what reasons you are right and they are wrong.......

Answer 5

Hi... i have found a few websites for you regarding self esteem, self help.

Every one of us is different, and some of us are shyer and not that assertive.

You can be who you want to be, hon... it might just take some work and practice.

You can also find books on self-esteem at the library or major book stores. I wish you all the best.

Answer 6

Just think you are alive, well and as good as any other person. You are entitled to a viewpoint and also to express it.

I am sure you are a nice person, so if you think other people are taking advantage you must learn a two lettered word 'No'., but phrase it nicely. such as 'No, I really can't spare the time, I am busy at the moment.' and don't let them persuade you otherwise.

You are you and nothing can change that.

Kind regards Jo.

www.save-money-guide.com

Answer 7

Well, it can be a long process or it can be almost instantaneous. It just depends on you. For most people it is a long process.

The biggest thing is that you need to change the way YOU look at yourself, and also change what you tell yourself. This is can difficult at first, since you have gotten into a habit of thinking of yourself in a certain way.

Don't be so negative about yourself, and when you find yourself being negative, correct yourself. Start believing in yourself.

Think about who you want to be in the world. Describe yourself in positive ways, like successful, loving, powerful, empowering, or whatever else inspires you. What do you want to create and who do you want to be in the world? What inspires you? Think about those things.

Find positive people and become their friend and hang around them. Their positive energy will rub off on you. Also, limit your exposure to negative people. Their negative energy will rub off on you too. You are not yet strong enough to combat their negative energy with your positive energy, since you are still working on your own positive energy.

Read inspirational books, and if you can afford it, attend some seminars. There are many good ones out there. Do not get addicted to one particular approach or ideology. Read a variety of positive and inspirational books to learn the most about yourself.

Look for role models, either in person or ones you read about. Imagine how it would be like to be them. See what they do and emulate the good things they do.

And take small steps in being yourself and start to see that it is not as bad as you think it is. People respect you when you are yourself. At first they may be upset because they are used to pushing you around, but in the end they will respect you. And in the end, you need to find better friends anyway.

I used to always be worried if people liked me. I found that people actually liked me more when I was being myself. That was a big surprise to me, as I somehow came to the false conclusion that no one would like me the way I was. I was wrong.

Start thinking differently about yourself, and others will start to also. Start respecting yourself, and others will respect you too. :)

Good luck. :)

Answer 8

find something that you enjoy doing, maybe something that you are especially good at. If you are a writer, painter, whatever, focus on those things for a little while. It will fell like therapy & people respect talent. Maybe you aren't creative, you can find your strong points & work with them. If you feel good about what you do, you will start to feel a little better about yourself. Remember that people will treat you with more respect if they see that you have respect for yourself.

We re going to go through phases, don't let those bring you down along the way. You only get one chance here, make it good. find out what makes you happy. you can get a new haircut, update your style, update your attitude. i will stop rambling now, goodluck.

Answer 9

You need self improvement or self help. Read the article on this site to help your self esteem. Also read the blog on it called self improvement for smart people if this applies to you.

http://www.phifoundation.org/blog.html

Answer 10

Yeah, that a cross we introverts have to bear. You can force yourself to do anything you want to, you just have to believe it. What was that show on VH1, oh yeah the Pick Up Artist, he talked those dudes into believing in themselves. Do it yourself, or find a mentor who can, if that really want to be an extrovert.