Are my parents right?

Question

I am 25 and moving out. It is difficult for me to support myself because I earn little, butme and my parents we don't get along that well.

My parents bought me a PC in 2007, and not they say I can't take it with me to my new house, even though they gave it to me as a birthday present. Furthermore, because of this present they bought me nothing else for my birthday or Christmas for years.

Is this the way in which good parents behave?

I am a PhD student with three jobs. What more can I do?

I already have room mates.

My parents also have another house in the city and I offered to move in there (the house is empty) and pay them rent, but they didnt want to let me do that.

Sorry, I misspelled, the PC was bought in 2000, while I was in highschool. And they are middle-classed, they just bought themselves a Hyundai Tucson, they are hardly poor.

And I am the only one that is PC litterate in the family.

Answer 1

Let me applaud you for your accomplishments first of all!! And your parents should not take a gift back after it has been given. They also maybe feeling that old empty nest syndrome,and maybe taking it out on you.Do Not listen to the people that are so negative on their answers to you.They don't know if you may have wanted to move out when you were younger and your parents were against it.I really do think parents should Lead by Example!! Good Luck to you sweety and Hope all your hopes & dreams are one day fulfilled.

Answer 2

If you are being physically or emotionally abused by your parents, then get as far away as possible! Live with a friend, if you have to, but get out of abusive relationships, always.
If you are not being abused in any way, but you just don''t get along with your parents, then I would say to step back and try to see their point of view. Many times parents act the way they do (sometimes a bit psychotically) because they love you and don't want you to get hurt. As a young adult, this is incredibly annoying and frustrating. But sometimes, parents have a hard time letting go. Parenthood becomes part of who you are and when your child doesn't need you for every little thing, you start to feel like your child doesn't need you at all. That's when you, the "child," start to feel like your parents are trying to ruin your life. They really aren't. If this is more your case, then I would try talking to your parents about why they don't want you to move out. And why you do want to move out. They may be worried that you will fail since you are not making much money. Or that you will get hurt, since most low income housing is in the slums and more dangerous neighborhoods. And if they know your exact reasons for wanting to leave, maybe they will be willing to compromise. Hopefully you can work something out that will be good for both you and your parents.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

It does not sound right. are they very poor? if so. they my not be able to buy another one. also if it was bought in 2007, they may still be making payments on it, and do not have it payed off. as yet. you should ask them why. they should have an answer, to give you. if they have, no answer, well then that is not right. and something is wrong. As a parent, my daughter moved out on her own. and we help her out at times. that is because we know at times it is hard to get started with you own life. we just bought her. about $200. of food last week. but we will not keep doing this, for she has to learn that being on your own, means she needs to learn responsibility. and also learn from her own actions. but we will help her get started. also give her advice on what should be done. other than that. it is all hers from there. but all parents do not see things the same way. so talk to them and find out why? they may want too, but not be able to help you that much.

Answer 4

Laelia,

You, like so many other young women have this sense of entitlement that I see so often. Get a grip. You are old enough to be providing for yourself. If you don't make enough money at your job, do what I did and get a second job or educate yourself so you can get a better job.

Your parents are not obligated to give you anything at this point in your life.

edit: Perhaps, take on a room mate or two so that living expenses are minimized.

Answer 5

may be they dont want u 2 move out and they feel that if they do not allow u 2 take ur pc u may stay back and they did not give u any gift 4 ur birthday or christmas u know how expensive pc's r may be they cannot afford 2 buy any other expensive gift 4 u .

Answer 6

your 25 your old enough to move out on your own if you want or need to but if you want or need to stay at home that is fine too my husband and i are at my parents house and I am almost 26. You can talk to the ywca about getting housing help you can stay at a shelter if you need to get out NOW there are ways places and people will help but if you can wait maybe talk to your parents about renting there basement for $100 a month until you save enough to get out it is not much money but doesnt make it too hard for you to save and still shows your respecting them.. as for the pc if it was given as a gift it is yours you take as for not getting other gifts your too old to expect a lot of gifts like when you were a kid but still as their daughter they should get you at least one gift a year

Answer 7

Did they say why you can't take it? My son just went to college and my husband and I bought him a laptop a couple of years ago for his birthday. But he was doing stuff online that was potentially dangerous to my family, so when he went to school, we didn't let him take it. We did give him a regular PC to use, but he didn't want it, so that shows us he was still up to doing things online. We took the computer back home and he now has to use the computers at his school. If he can stop doing the stuff online that he was doing, then we will gladly give him back his laptop, but he has a problem and school has to come first.

Answer 8

clearly they don't want you to move but a gift is a gift. It's time to sit them down and talk to them really calmly about it. Tell them, I love you but you know as well as I do that I can't live here forever. I really need my own space now and because the computer was a gift, I believe it's mine to take.

Answer 9

I don't think that it makes them bad parents to re-*** on their gift to you, but I do think it's morally wrong.

They have allowed you to live in their house way past your 18th bday, you should be grateful.

I think that you have good parents, it seems they may want you to get things on your own.

Be more open minded and slower to come to negative conclusions about people who have given you so much of themselves.

Hope this helps!

Answer 10

Sounds like the really don't want you to leave. I know you say you don't get along, but your leaving might be part of that.

The reality is, if they gave it to you as a birthday present then it's your to take, leave, or trash.