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19 answers

That is a tough one..It completely depends on the child..If it were my oldest son, he could hack it at that age, but not my second son..He still at the age of 8 does not want to look at people he hardly knew, and we dont force him to...It might give her a chance to say bye to Daddy, but odds are, she will not remember anyway..She is pretty darn young..Good luck sweetie..Wishing you all the best, and am so sorry for your loss!

2007-10-30 03:37:01 · answer #1 · answered by Momto8gr8 6 · 0 0

honestly, You're the only one that can answer that question. it depends on the child. Some children would be just fine seeing their daddy in casket and have some final closure. Other children would not be OK, have a huge problem understanding and would only cry.

You might want to look into the idea of www.bearlygone.com it's where you can put a piece or ashes or your husband into the teddy bear. It'd be a way for your daughter to feel close and ahve a piece of him always with her. Just a thought.

I personally would explain the concept of death to my daughter and ask if she wanted to see daddy "Sleeping" in the casket. I'd tell her this is his body but is soul, his spirit is with the angels. His spirit and soul is what made him Daddy and he's watching down over her right now.

hope this helps

2007-10-30 03:35:57 · answer #2 · answered by Susie 2 · 0 0

I would have her talk to someone professional first I think. Even maybe her doctor could help with the situation. Someone who knows how to talk and explain things to kids. I phsciatrist or like I said maybe even her own doctor could do this. But someone needs to explain to her what's going on, then decide from there if it's a good idea or what the professional thinks is a good idea for her own sake. She will understand if you tell her, but she won't fully get whats going on and that he's died and won't be waking up. I don't know that I could let my daughter see her daddy that way especially being so close to her daddy. I highly recommend her talking with some kind of professional beofre making a decision, and that includes you to. THis is your daughters well being we're talking about.

2007-10-30 03:55:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

I would have her talk to a psychologist who deals with children and grief before deciding to let her see that.

I'm leaning towards "no." In the long run, I think this would help her to remember the BEST about her dad, the memories she wants and needs to remember, instead of having the image of his lifeless body in a box.

After talking with a psychologist, if that doctor says they think it would probably be okay, talk to your daughter. Tell her what to expect at the funeral or visitation, and let her know that it is 100% up to her whether she wants to see him in the casket or not. Let her know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing not to. If she decides she just doesn't want to, no one will be disappointed, sad or angry at her for it. Remind her that the body is just a shell, and that her dad knows she's sad and only wants what's best for her.

If she does decide to do it, remind her that she is allowed to change her mind at any time.

When a former preacher died several years ago, his son (I think he was about eight at the time) put something in the casket with him. I think it was something like a little McDonald's toy or something like that, something he had two of. He kept one, and put the other in the casket. When Princess Diana died, Prince Harry had written a letter to her that I think was buried or entombed with her. If she decides to do it, this might help a little.

If no doctor ok's it, I wouldn't do it.

2007-10-30 07:49:08 · answer #4 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 0 0

I am soooo sorry!!! my 9 yr old daughter was 7 at the time my mother(her nana) passed away very suddenly at age 64 yrs old...she wanted to see her in the casket and i told her no and i am glad i did not...I still have visions of my mother in the casket!! I do not think it is a good idea for your child, either.

2007-10-30 06:23:04 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Sexy Mama of 2 cuties♥ 7 · 0 0

No.... I think it will be harder for you to handle. A small child is only going to say "wake up Daddy" and things like that. Its overwhelming more for you, I think. My neice's grandmother past away and we took a picture of her in the casket to give to her later in life.... she was too young as well. Im sorry for your loss.

2007-10-31 05:53:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I wouldn't. I would want her to remember him the way he was before he died. Just make sure that you have a good picture of him. My grandfather died when I was 4 and my mom was 28. We lived out of state and he passed unexpectedly. Everyone told her she should see him before he was buried, but she told me that it just made her feel worse and she wished that she hadn't seen him in the coffin she would have preferred that her last memory of him be the last time she saw him. I would think for a 4 year old it would just be scary to see her daddy like that.

2007-10-30 03:29:12 · answer #7 · answered by kat 7 · 1 1

See if you can get her into to see a child psychologist beforehand to talk to her and see if she understands and if she should. Many would say that shouldn't be her last memory of her Daddy. A close friend of mine died at age 31 in May and they didn't let her 4yr old twins see before she passed or after.

2007-10-30 03:26:20 · answer #8 · answered by pookiesmom 6 · 4 1

No - she wouldn't understand why he won't wake up, besides that is not the last memory you want her to have of him. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and it must be a very difficult time for you. I noticed your other question about how you should tell her. Maybe you could just say Daddy has gone to live with the angels. You don't need to be too in depth with her about what has happened as she won't understand. Just wait and see what questions she asks and answer them honestly but carefully in a way she will understand. x

2007-10-30 03:25:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4 2

Oh, my. You do have a situation. ok, as far because of the fact the lady is worried, this one is as much as you considering which you are the perceived sufferer. She's too youthful to soak up an entire clarification, so which you're gonna could discover yet otherwise to get this baby to appreciate that he wasn''t hurting you. you will get varied solutions right here from people who don't have babies, so this would possibly not be the best venue for you. have been it me, i could attempt merely sitting her down and asking her precisely what she theory she observed and then bypass from there. What you do no longer elect to do at this factor is to make any assumptions approximately what she theory she observed. the hardship is that what she observed grew to become into completely exterior of her journey, so which you will could discover the thank you to make it in wonderful condition into what journey she does have. you're able to enable her get it off her chest and then attempt explaining that sometimes mommys and daddys do issues mutually like that and at the same time because it could appear as if mommy is in discomfort, she truly isn't. What she needs maximum is reassurance that her father would not injury her mom. you're able to be able to attempt explaining it in terms of mommys and daddys enjoying mutually to tutor one yet another that they love one yet another. something like, "you be attentive to how each and every now and then you have lots exciting on the swing which you squeal? we will, whilst mommys and daddys truly love one yet another, each and every now and then they play video games mutually. whilst your daddy and that i play, each and every now and then mommy has lots exciting that mommy squeals." something like that, i think of could have the convenience of being truthful devoid of giving the baby too lots suggestions. additionally, i could bypass in for a communicate with the college counsellor if she's at school. you will could supply him a heads up in case the lady says something at school. He could have considered this in the past and function extra useful recommendation for you.

2016-11-09 20:31:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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