Am I stupid for thinking this?

Question

I'm only 16 but i babysit 1-4 times a week for a family that has 3 kids (2 boys ages 6 and 3, and a 2 yo girl). I've noticed some things in their family that when i have a family of my own, I don't want in my family. Like the kids, all day, it's nothing but "Wiggles, Dora, Einstiens, Backyardigans, Doobies", all they want to do is watch tv. Personally, despite how "educational" it is, I don't think little kids need tv. I've concluded to myself, that my kids are not gonna watch tv until they are 4 years old (after that 30 min a day). all educational things should be from the parents, not the bube tube. there's nothing the tv can teach them, that i can't. and no candy until they are 5 (and after that only once a month will they have it) . i'm not gonna buy candy or junk food. they'll all be eating food thats good for them. thirdly, the parents cook something for themselves and the kids just eat chicken nuggets every night. hold on, typing....

when i have kids, i'm gonna cook a meal, and the kids are gonna eat what we are eating and we are gonna eat as a family. i know i'm young and don't know what it's like to have kids and what not. but is it stupid for me to think that i can do this? do all parents think this beforehand, but change their mind after kids because they "just need a break". what are your thoughts?

Answer 1

We all thought that same way.

Then we had kids.

Answer 2

It is always good to have an idea and a plan, but, especially when you are a parent, you have to be flexible. I think that most people, before they have kids, have an idea as to what kind of parent they will be. But, as a mom for 28 years to 4 kids, and now a grandma, I have learned that sometimes the best plans have a way of not quite going the way you want them to. It is commendable that you have good plans. Just remember to watch for being judgmental. When it comes to parenting, there are many ways to do it. One way is not necessarily better than another, but is just different. If we raised our kids in isolation, never leaving the house, we'd have great control over our kids, but life is not that way so we have to learn balance, acceptance, and flexibility. We want to keep our kids protected, healthy, and nurtured, but don't forget about having fun, too. Have you ever seen a child who never watched TV or had candy until 5 or went to McDonald's? I know a couple like that and they are very adult-like and serious. Try avoiding thinking in terms of "always" or "never" because those goals are hard to succeed at. Instead, focus on aiming for "most of the time" or "rarely" and leave a little room for change now and then.

Answer 3

I dont think that you are wrong in all areas its just you havent had kids yet , i do agree though with you on a lot . One thing is kids dont need to sit in front of the tv all the time , they need to get outside and get some fresh air , play with other kids and use their imagination , let them finger paint , play playdough, build with building blocks , but i will admit my child has watched tv longer than 30 minutes a day and it can be a great babysitter while im cooking dinner or working on something around the house, now about waiting til 5 before allowing them candy (i dont think that will happen) but i do agree with balance meals and the family eatting together but you have to keep in mind a night or two with chicken nuggets or corndogs , pizza etc... isnt all bad , after all dont we like it too . It all sounds like a great plan its just after having a child reality sets in and you find yourself sometimes doing just the things you said you wouldnt do :) .

Answer 4

No thats not stupid. You may find yourself using treats a bit more often as a reward, because young children only know the now not the future.

Our rule is generally the tv is off during the day. Sometimes I let them watch during the day. If I need to go to the bathroom, have a shower ect. Some times when I feed the baby if they are not occupied.

While learning to brush teeth, I used it as insentive to brush. Only 5 minutes at a time. or 30 mins if something like play school is on.

Used wisely it can be a useful tool. But I agree in not over exposing. That is way way way too much t.v.

Answer 5

I don't think you are wrong in wanting the best for your future children. I do believe in eatting meals together whenever possible...but yes sometimes after a long day of work,etc....u do just pop chicken nuggets in the oven, but it shouldn't be always. On tv i also agree it shouldnt be 24/7..limited like you said. Non-existant completely is do-able but hard these days. In my experience its a good wake up or go to bed tool. Specially depending on the number of children you have and the ages. In my experience say you have a toddler and a newborn. To let the toddler watch 15-20 min of tv while you change the newborn and get breakfast ready for all of you is not a bad thing, or in thenight time routine....let them again watch a bit while you help change in PJ's etc. This work for two girls ages 2 and 3....i would let them watch tv while i put one to bed, (read them a story tuck them in etc.)and they would take turns each night going to bed first. Granted like you I am not a mother yet, but have been a nanny for 4 years now....when you live in and care for the children 7am-7pm...you pretty much are as close as it gets.

Answer 6

Age has nothing to do with it! You are obviously an intuitive young lady. People use Computers, TV's, game consoles to "babysit" their kids these days - You stick to your beliefs dear - you will be a good Mother if and when you decide to have children!!

And has for SUGAR - Why not serve snacks with nuts, carob chips, seeds and raisin mixes, fruit, cut veggies (e.g. 'ants-on-a-log' - celery sticks with peanut butter and raisins on top), crackers with creme cheese or Sorrell Ridge jams, pretzels etc.

Sugar [especially refined white}accelerates aging - the increased probability of death with time. This is the addiction to sucrose, which also diminishes the quality of life. There is a large amount of information about this; The book Sweet and Dangerous by John Yudkin is a good place to begin a review of the correlations between sugar and all sorts of scourges from tooth decay to heart disease.

While virtually all natural foods contain sucrose, the ability to manufacture it cheaply has caused an order of magnitude increase in sugar consumption. In the average American diet, about 20% of caloric intake is sugar - a physiological assault that our bodies are not designed to endure.

The ingestion of excess sucrose supplies the body with very large amounts of fructose. Sucrose, a dimmer of fructose and glucose, is rapidly hydrolyzed in the stomach. Glucose is ordinarily present in large amounts in the blood, but fructose is not. Also, the sugars in sucrose enter the blood stream quickly, causing a rapid rise in blood glucose. For this reason, the blood sugar of sucrose addicts oscillates wildly over a wide range. It is not known which of these effects - fructose or blood sugar oscillation - is the worst health hazard.

Sugar definitely weakens the immune system - which protects us from many things from colds to cancer. As an older person, my system contains a wider selection of immune responses than that of a younger person.

Consequently, when the children have colds or other similar maladies, I am usually spared. If, however, there is illness in the house, I must be sure to control my sugar addiction. A plate of cookies will make certain that I, too, share their illness.
Sorry, was attempting to be thorough.

Answer 7

my sister was the exact same way when she found out that she was pregnant BUT after she had my nephew it all changed she found it easier to turn on teletubbies for 30 minutes to cook dinner instead of trying to get her son to sit still bored for 30 minutes

I didn't go into my pregnancy thinking the way that my sister did of course there are certain things that I want my daughter to do but she has to have fun and be a kid too

My daughter was born with some health concerns that could have cost her her life there's no way after her experiencing all of that that i would not let her be a kid and do kid things she deserves some perks

it's not about refusing to let them have candy, watching tv, etc it's about setting reasonable limitations because after all kids will be kids let them enjoy it

Answer 8

It is a great way to be thinking about it and if you can do these things once you have children it will be great but things are so much different once a child is there and past opinions can change really quickly. Lots of people have to learn from their own mistakes but it seems like you are learning from others which is great, just try and stick to it as much as you can.

Answer 9

No you are definitely not wrong for thinking that way. In fact congrats for thinknig so responsibly. But from my own persnal experience, what you plan before a baby has nothing to do with when a baby enters your life. Granted you still have the same beliefs so most of the time your ideas just take on a different meaning and a different diirection. With this said, alot of things you say are alot easier said than done.

I completely agree wih you, TV is unnecesary and so is fast food, you very well could be one fo those people that sticks to the book, which can be a great thing.

So you are definitely NOT stupid. You have your head on straight, for now. But just remeber when that baby enters your life, all reservations go out the window and suddenly you are living day by day, one step at a time.

As long as the parent is truly and sincerely looking for the best interest of their child all is good. Each family has their own way of functioning, which is what makes each family so unique and different.

Answer 10

I learned a lot about the kind of parent I wanted to be by watching others' mistakes.
You're not stupid for thinking that, but it's all easier said than done. You just do the best you can and forgive yourself for the rest.

Answer 11

you are indeed NOT stupid!!However,you will see that your time frames for candy and tv will not stand.Kids are very smart-they dont need tv-but you will-trust me! you will be tired and just want them out of your hair sometimes.It doesnt mean they should be babysat by it tho. also there will be times when you have to bribe a kid girl! lol! candy is good for this...but too should be given in moderation.Once a month candy is unreasonable-you aint willy wonkas dad are ya? now I'm totally against fast food for kids especially feed them nutritious meals and enjoy them...they ARE a blessing.