Atheists, how do you explain to a Christian what you think without them feeling offended?

Question

I can't seem to find the right words to explain why I think the way I think regarding religion without making my fiance feel as though I am telling him his way is all wrong. I don't mean to suggest that but how else do you really explain atheism? lol

Rach, I would never use words like "magic sky daddy" or "brainwashing" when speaking to my fiance unless I'm trying to get into a major argument. I have more respect than that, come on now. :o)

Answer 1

its difficult to explain , anything to them ..beoz of years , indoctrination , (bible programmed...lol ) they have gone through from childhood...but depends from person to person

what i do is, just ask questions( about god, religion etc) to them ( for which they dont seem to have any sensible answers...all they do, is just quote from religious text..lol)

persuade him & hope for the best ..lol

Edit:

linz, the simple questions i ask them :

{are you sure about one god theory ?why not many ? who told you so ? and who validated that ?

and are you sure that the god , u are talking about is not among the invented stuff ?? & who told u that the god u r talking about is not among invented stuff?

will u plzz explain/tell me, how come there is only one god ( if u insist on, having only one god)...why not many ? are u so sure jesus was not invented stuff or idol ? will u plzz give any sensible argument ? aren't u making fool of yourself ? }

which god are u talking about? there r over 8000 gods, right ? what makes u think that there is a god ? & even if there is one god or many, why not woman? even if there is god ...why not many gods ?

and who told u that bible is written by god ?

so, some guys told u , that all these things created by jesus...& u believed them ? what makes u think all these stuff created by jesus? why not others ?, i mean there r over 8000 gods , as per ur theory, right?

so, now u accept that , bible was a man's word (a story written in greek, hebrew which is difficult to translate.in other languages..lol)...limited by language, region ....lol? why would so called god' limit his words to a language ?? or did god only knew greek , hebrew ???.
how can u assume that jesus was son /messenger of so called god ?
is god limited to a book , that gets primitive with time ? or language ? or region ?
why does god have to send a man to give messeges to his own creations ? is he so weak?
& why does he has to kill, his own creations , to explain his theories to his own creations ? is he mad or psycho ?

your so called god is so weak & not acceptable to his own creations i.e., humans ,(until & unless , he performs some magical tricks ) so he had to appear & persuade them that he is god…& then he goes on to create satan, to kill his own creations .....& then he goes on kill satan........& u say satan is doing all these evil things (killings, torture etc etc)( that means god is not able to control /overpower satan ?)

Satan… & hell….lol…..all those things doesn’t make any sense ( to a person with a sensible brain..)…aren’t u making fool of yourself ?}

best of luck...lol

Answer 2

I'm with Rachel's answer. You should be able to have a dissenting opinion without anyone getting offended. If they do get offended it's likely a problem they have with their own faith. I mean I've seen some answers on R&S that I'd stay away from (i.e., Rachel's sky daddy comment, or the "I treat christians like children becuase they've proven that they can't reason, etc).

The right words: You've had an experience that means something to you. I can appreciate that. I have not had this experience. I can't force it. I can't make myself believe. Therefore this is what I believe. This is of course doesn't change your beliefs, but I hope you can understand why I believe the way I do.

Something like that maybe.

Answer 3

Sometimes I just say "whatever works for you" and let it go at that. But if someone asks, and sounds like they really do want to understand, I explain that I just cannot take anything on faith alone. To me, faith means believing in the absence of evidence, or even in the face of evidence to the contrary. I certainly would not want my lawyer or my financial adviser or my doctor to think that way, and I see no reason why I should make an exception for my spiritual adviser. [Yes, I do have one: the leader of the local Ethical Society, a lovely and intelligent young lady named Kate Lovelady.]

To me, all gods and goddesses are useful metaphors which can illustrate an esoteric point or provide a focus for an aspect of the spiritual side of human existence. I often need to reassure a "believer" that I do not reject all spiritual matters, but only the personal, conscious, literally real god figures. I understand most of what I might consider "God" to be philosophical rather than literal. Although I have a great deal of respect for the stories and images and symbols of the past for their insight into the human mind and soul, and the human condition in relationship to one another, I simply cannot believe they have any sort of physical existence. In other words, they have no more "reality" than a popular fictional character. However, such characters (e.g., Harry Potter) can indeed take on a kind of reality because they are shared in the minds of so many people. Same goes for Jesus.

Answer 4

Hey Lindz,

I just try to keep religion to a minimum when discussing with my fiance as he's athiest (as you know). Some people would say im a Christian, but some wouldn't (We talked that day about all i believe in) and it's just how WE feel. I sat down and thought about it for a while cause if I were to tell him he was wrong, its the opposite as well...he could say "well your religion is all wrong" so it's a never ending circle.

just drop it all...
Jason's allowing me to baptize my children, however, it will be all laid out on the table for them to decide.

Answer 5

I would say that you completely accept his beliefs, that you do not have a problem with what he believes in. However, based on your experience of life so far you personally feel unable to believe in a 'god' or an earthly religion - this does not mean that you have an issue with is religion or that you want any debates about right and wrong, just that for you there is no religion. Tell him that he has had his experience of life, and you yours, and that each persons experience is different - as intelligent people who are two separate beings, you have made your own personal decisions about how you think and feel. Tell him it is your differences that confirm your independence and your ability to see beyond any potential barriers these differences raise, that confirms your love, understanding and accepting of eachother.

Answer 6

Not an atheist but I think I can clear it up:

Because both cannot be true. There either is a god or there isn't.

If you are right then he is wrong and vice versa.

However, some people do not know the fine art of agreeing to disagree. If more people did this there would be less fighting about things.

So while you seem to be able to agree on disagreeing your finance cannot. If he doesn't learn how he is in for a world of disappointment.

Answer 7

I would be more concerned about marrying a believer, than how to tell him you are an atheist. This is a major chasm; more so than sexual problems. At least there are steps to take to resolve a sexual problem, but there is no bridge between atheism and religion....at least when it comes to marriage.

your "lol" leads me to think you might be making up the religious fiance.

as to how to explain your atheism to a Christian, it is not WHAT you say, but HOW you say it. Atheists can be as pendantic as preachers.

Answer 8

It's very difficult unless you are speaking with an EXTREMLY open-minded person. Many Christians I've tried talking to seem to take anything that isn't in complete alignment with their own beliefs as an attack and instantly rude. That's just been my experience most of the time.

Answer 9

As you've noticed from many of the questions in R&S, many Christians often have misconceptions about atheism and what it means. This makes communicating with them rather difficult.

With your fiance, it may help to use Russel's teapot example, i.e. ask him if he would believe in an invisible teapot, and then explain that for you god is pretty much the same as the teapot.

Good luck!

Answer 10

Well, you do think we're wrong. No need to sugar coat it.

But with that said, even if you think we're wrong about basic ontological issues, it doesn't mean you have to assume that we're delusional, brainwashed, ignorant, etc. I would suggest shying away from those words.

Instead of saying something along the lines of, "I don't need a magic sky daddy to live my life," I would suggest, "I simply don't find sufficient evidence in my life to support the notion of a divine being."

Respect goes a long way. Really, you'd think it would be common sense....but a lot of people seem to be lacking in that department.

Answer 11

I just tell them that I don't see any evidence that a god exists, and leave it at that. If they push it, point out that the burden of proof is on them. Most will stop at this point. If you really want to push it, you can look up the websites listing bible contradictions, etc, and counter their arguments using their own bible. But that sounds like it's more than you want to push on them.

I also point out that I have no problems at all if they want to believe, only that I ask that they don't try to convert me, and that they pay for their belief and their church themselves. That means no special advantages, tax breaks, etc, just because they are a church.