We go to his "bar" about once a week to watch football, and that's usually the only time I drink. I had 2 pitchers of beer, and I also bought a mixed drink for me and his 2 friends (they buy me stuff all the time). As soon as I did he went off on me. At this time MY friend had just showed up. So he kept saying "you're not drinking anymore" etc, and making a scene in front of 3-4 people.
He said I was "drunk" because I thought the song "waterfalls" by TLC was either about AIDS or sickle cell anemia.. but I couldn't recall which one.
Why does he make a scene and what should I do to avoid it from now on? Should I quit going to his bar all together, in turn not allowing him to go either?
2007-10-30 00:21:26 · 13 answers · asked by PlasticTrees 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
He turned to my friend an hour earlier and said "can you give her a ride home, I'm not dealing with this". My friend just said "ooookay, whatever".
2007-10-30 00:23:36 · update #1
Why don't you try to explain to him that you weren't drunk and just really thinking about a song. You need to talk to him. It sounds to me like he's not really loving. He yells at you and then stays at the bar while he gives you to a friend to take home? How loving is that?! He tells you what to do and treats you badly, at least he did here. You need to stand up for yourself and tell him how much he hurt you. I would stop going to the bar but let him go if he wants to. I wouldn't marry this guy. He sounds like a royal jerk who doesn't care about you at all. If he did care he would try to apologize by now or at least feel bad about it in some way. You should at least hold off on getting married now. You don't want to end up with the wrong person even if you have to call off a wedding. And I don't think you want to be with someone who is disrespectful and mean.
2007-10-30 00:51:45 · answer #1 · answered by Rockit 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
no guy that loves you should embarrass you, whether it's in front of your friends or if you're home alone.
I think this problem is deeper than what you've just told us.
You need to decide, and fast, whether this jerk is really worth marrying or not.
talk to him about your concerns and how this is a problem- that he embarrasses you in public- and that it will get worse if someone or something doesn't change.
if he's not willing to help you and your future (for BOTH of you), you might reconsider committing to this guy.
maybe you both don't belong in the bar scene.
But he shouldn't keep you from hanging out with friends.
is there a family history (for each of you) that had/has problems with alcoholics?
has he ever had problems when drinking in the past (with you or past girlfriends)? did it ever turn violent?
you need to sit down with him and discuss how these situations will be handled BEFORE you leave the house to hang out with friends.
agree on how much money you will spend.
agree on who will be the designated driver.
agree on when you've had too much, when to slow down or stop.
you need to support each other, not put each other down.
2007-10-30 04:54:29 · answer #2 · answered by sugar sweet 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You aren't going to avoid it from now on. That's the way that he is. He isn't going to change. You could stop drinking, but then he will probably just embarrass you in some other way. You need to decide fast if this is something you can live with, because if you decide to be married to him, it's something you will have to put up with for the rest of your life.
2007-10-30 02:31:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
if you couldn't figure out what the song was when you heard it then you were fubared. its about a kid in a gang and a guy who sleeps with some skank who gives him aids. any how. if you downed a couple of pitchers of beer and a mixed drink he was probably the one embarrassed. you might have thought that he was the one making the scene but it was probably your drunk ***. your heading made him sound like sound kind of jerk who makes fun of you in front of people you my friend need to get a grip and grow up he wants you to hang out with him, not fall out on him.
2007-10-30 04:47:26 · answer #4 · answered by m t 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
part of Waterfalls is about some sort of STD so I don't know how drunk someone is to talk about a song that is about 12 years old but you were not wrong.
Little precious has a natural obsession
For temptation but he just cant see
She gives him loving that his body cant handle
But all he can say is baby is good to me
One day he goes and takes a glimpse
In the mirror
But he doesnt recognize his own face
His health is fading and he doesnt know why
3 letters took him to his final resting place
( my guess is HIV are those letters )
anyway it seems like he picks on you for some silly things
and you might want to ask him why before you commit to him.
2007-10-30 01:36:15 · answer #5 · answered by Shadow Kat 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Perhaps he thought you really were drunk (I'd be off my head after 1 pitcher of beer) and he got emotionally angered by that, OK he should not have shouted at you in public but perhaps he was also embarrassed.
2007-10-30 02:21:53 · answer #6 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he doesn't like you drinking in front of his mates - if that's the only time you drink maybe you should just have one or 2 next time and see what happens
2007-10-30 03:13:52 · answer #7 · answered by Lise Wisey 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow, this is something that you two need to work out before you get married. There is no reason he should try to embarrass you. Have you talked to him about it? Tell him that he should not be treating you that way, especially in front of your friends. See why he is acting the way he is. Good luck!
2007-10-30 02:31:17 · answer #8 · answered by vaya 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I find the situation very troubling. He should never scold you or berate you--especially in front of other people. If he has a problem with alcohol, he should not be going to a bar every week.
2007-10-30 01:53:45 · answer #9 · answered by melouofs 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Your drinking is triggering an emotional response from him and not a good one. Talk to him. He may have issues with an alcoholic family member.
If you want your relationship to work, you need to understand each other's fears.
If he can't handle seeing you drink then you will have to decide how to handle it.
Good Luck.
2007-10-30 00:35:44 · answer #10 · answered by ruby 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋