How do you deal with a mom that is full of herself and will backhand you anytime you ask her something?

Question

Whenever I try to address an issue with my mom all she does is curse at me and tells me to get over it.

My mom had problems with her mom when she was younger and my mom is always saying that she doesn't want to be like her mom.

Answer 1

Don't ask her anything. That way you avoid a slap. You can always ask us. If it gets to bad see a counselor.

Answer 2

It sounds as though your mom is dealing with issues of her own and does not see beyond what her problems are. Avoidance and shutting you out seems to be her way of dealing with her problems.

Children of parents like this (I am one) are being abused verbally and emotionally by the one person we feel should love and be able to help us.

If possible, look for someone you trust and can talk to - perhaps a school counsellor or another mature female (like an aunt) or grown up friend.

Your awareness of this problem is a bonus for you, took me years before I caught on that it wasn't me that was the problem. I learned how to respond to people via parents.

The sooner you are able to find help, the better. You want to break the chain before you have children and not carry this baggage along with you and then to them.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Unfortunately certain people are just unreasonable, and some of them are parents. People who know each other very well and have close relationships, often push each other's buttons- sometimes without even being conscious of it. Could be the situation here. Even if you still live at home, try your best to fly under her radar, and be as cooperative as humanly possible, and at your first opportunity, move out, and perhaps distance will make for a better relationship.

Answer 4

Wow! Sounds like her elevator doesn't quite go all the way up, but don't worry- there are people who can help with that. Go a councelor and ask about the issue.
Meanwhile, still be respectful to your mom and when she gets hyped up like that, treat her gently. It never helps a person get over their actions twards you if you act the same twards her. Hope this helps! =D

Answer 5

No child or Teen should ever be hit by ANYONE not even their Mom.
This is physical abuse and cusing is verbal abuse.
Talk to her, and tell her you do not like to be hit. Tell her you will try to honor her wishes but not with hitting or cusing. If she can act civil you will do as she asks.
Tell her you prefer to talk things out instead of just acting them out. You always want to know why you should do something. Ask her to explain.

Communication is the best avenue to a better life. Tell her you want family meetings once a week. Tell he you think it will be better for you to have a specific time to discuss things with her. And this can prevent her being caught totally off guard. She will look to the weekly meeting so that she approaches it calmly.

Parents have a lot of STRESS. Sometimes they act out on this stress but they still care for you. I think your mother need to manage her stress better. Think of ways you can help her.
If you just do it, in time you may see a difference in her attitude toward you and the family.
Little things like fix a meal, clean a room in your home, offer to rub her feet, make some brownies, etc.
Ask her want you can do to help?

Answer 6

You can't do anything about someone will such serious anger/mental issues...just be patient and soon you will be out of there...just don't make the same mistakes she did...get some therapy so that someday, when you have kids, you don't become your mother...

Answer 7

There are two sides to EVERY story. What's the rest? Notably, your question avoids mentioning what these "issues" are that you want to discuss. This may be key to what is upsetting her so.

Answer 8

Sounds like she might have high blood pressure of low/high blood sugar. If she goes off the handle that easily.