its not like any of us women do it. when was the last time any of you women obeyed your husbands? i take it as a "suggestion", but usually do what i think is best.
2007-10-27 21:36:01 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
darling.....there is no way im remotely close to being submissive to my loving hubby.
2007-10-27 21:42:03 · update #1
dr death.....you need duct tape over your keyboard!
2007-10-27 21:43:27 · update #2
It is just tradition from back when "women should be seen and not heard". But these days it is optional to put in, I left it out of my vows, though my husband and I do make compromises usually, we feel equality is best, but to each their own, some still believe in the obey part, sometimes both people say it, and sometimes even just the husband says it. But it is for the most part a suggestion.....and for a rare few a religious beleif
2007-10-27 21:40:38 · answer #1 · answered by mandyb 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Hold on let me catch my breath, the duct tape comment is still making me giggle uncontrollably.
O.K., I'm alright. Anyway, I had a situation where the preacher of my grandma's church who had known me all my life presided over my wedding. He is such a cute little old man and a real sweetie, but it got a little awkward right before the wedding when I asked him to please leave the "obey" part out of my vows. He smiled at me and said, "of course I will Dear, if that's what you wish, but you're still going to obey anyway, right?" Wow, there was this huge silence and that's when I realized that everybody in the room had been listening. I started sweating, but I just couldn't lie to him and so I said "probably not". His reaction was classic, he started laughing and said, "Well, you can only do your best".
During the actual wedding ceremony when he got to the part where he normally would say obey, he looked up at me and raised his eyebrows with a twinkle in his eyes. It was obvious he was making a little joke of sorts and it was hard for me not to laugh. I think he was actually proud of me for making a stand, and I was proud of him for letting me!
Edit: Awwww, my hubby answered. He's so sweet!
Dogma Dear, you are getting the wedding day mixed up with the wedding night. ;)
2007-10-28 05:16:39 · answer #2 · answered by Tea 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is actually an interesting question.The Bible states that the wife is to submit to her husband.....but a few verses before that,the Bible states that believers are supposed to submit to one another.Husbands are told to love their wives,but all believers are called to love each other.So the whole thing about submission/love seems to me to be a restatement of what we should be doing anyway.
These battles about wifely submission and husbandly love never seem to get anywhere.And I think the reason is,if we followed Jesus' example of putting others first,and loving each other,then the whole thing of what exactly submission entails and what the husband has the right to expect,becomes irrelevant,because we are looking out for the other person anyway.
As for the 'obey' in marriage vows,it's traditional.I know a few women-even feminists!-who have said that in their marriage vows.
I hope that my response wasn't too long winded.
2007-10-28 04:54:29 · answer #3 · answered by Serena 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably because Christianity, like most religions, traces its origins back to a patriarchal society. At that time women were supposed to obey men. That was the case till fairly recently. Religious institutions, in general, are slow to adapt to changing environments. "Obey" will probably continue to be used in traditional marriage ceremonies for a while, but might be phased out over the next few generations.
2007-10-28 04:52:24 · answer #4 · answered by qxzqxzqxz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh Vitamin, I could have sworn you said Obey but that was 16 years ago maybe I have old timers. "Wink Wink"
Seriously a marriage is a partnership made up of compromises. No one partner should blindly obey the other. We each bring skills and talents to a partnership and we should rely on each others strengths. That is what Vitamin C and I do.
2007-10-28 06:28:40 · answer #5 · answered by Dogma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because marriage (and alot of religious) cerimonies were constructed by man(religion).....seriously....mostly to have control thru guilt over people. In true faith there is no control or guilt, you know what the right thing to do is....it's called free will, but that doesn't mean people will choose do the right thing. That's part of the problem w/ free will, not everyone has the best intent.......
2007-10-28 04:47:59 · answer #6 · answered by seedlett 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obey is the traditional service that was always used.
It's only in recent years that some women have opted to say 'respect' instead of 'obey', because of so many equality related issues. It's a personal choice, take care.
2007-10-28 04:41:05 · answer #7 · answered by Woosie 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
like many other religions,church
is still allowed to dictate the social issues.obey is just a word because it is hardly ever obeyed out of church.
2007-10-28 05:04:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Human nature never changes. Whoever put it there in the first place did it tongue-and-cheek, snickering the whole time no doubt.
And now I better go put the toilet seat down before I get yelled at again....
2007-10-28 11:28:03 · answer #9 · answered by Boomer Wisdom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The church has such old obsolete rules from the stone age. Times have changed, women are educated and career oriented and independent and dont take bullcrap from any man any more. Everyone is human and all are equal. Do men keep the commandments and donot commit adultery. No they screw every thing in sight, even themselves if they could reach there.Why do women have to be sex slaves to be used and abused and take crap.
2007-10-28 04:40:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 3⤋