2007-10-27 20:14:28 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I had none of those either. I've been married ten years, still going strong, happy. IMO, stop focusing on the trappings of marriage that you 'missed out' on and start figuring out what's REALLY causing your marriage to suffer. Maybe being married is not what you thought - marriage is actually very unromantic and unglamorous most days. Or maybe you just picked the wrong person. Or maybe you're just going through a rough patch - there are plenty of those, each one you get through makes you stronger as a couple. If your marriage is in the danger zone, a dress or piece of jewelry will not save it. Hope you figure things out.
2007-10-27 20:28:02 · answer #1 · answered by candslandscape 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If not having a wedding gown and the party (reception) that you never had is the problem, then your problem can be resolved very easily . . start planning "a second wedding ceremony." And yes, it is done more often than you realize.
If you are having marital and relationship problems because you did not have wear a wedding gown or go away on a honeymoon then purchasing a wedding gown or going away will not resolve your problem, you need marital counseling.
Yes, if you are legally married now, you can have "a second wedding ceremony" with all of the hoopla. You can buy a wedding gown . . the groom can wear a tuxedo . . you can mail out wedding invitations . . you have have bridesmaids and groomsmen . . you can have a flower girl drop petals before you walk down the aisle . . you can buy wedding rings . . you can have a reception with all of your friends and family members . . you can order a three tiered wedding cake . . you can hire a DJ to play four hours of your favorite music . . and you can hire a professional photographer who will take hundreds of pictures. You can even take the honeymoon that you did not have, buy yourself a new bathing suit, some sunglasses and have a good time!
Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
2007-10-28 23:46:08 · answer #2 · answered by Avis B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you upset that you got married to this person or that you didn't have all these things? If you think having this would help your marriage then the relationship is the problem, not the fact that you don't have these things. Material things can't fix a relationship. My fiance and I are trying to make things as simple as possible for our wedding. We're not having a honeymoon but just staying home for a week, we're not having a big wedding but either a small reception or just going out to dinner with close family and friends and we're getting married at the courthouse. I love it and wouldn't want a big wedding. I don't need a lot of things. The wedding band is just a symbol of your marriage. Not having one doesn't mean your marriage will fail. You might be pining for the wedding of your dreams, but nothing says you can't save money to buy wedding bands now and that you can't take a vacation with your spouse instead of going back and having a honeymoon. In fact, sometimes we need a break from daily life to reconnect and that's okay. Just don't depend on these things to make you happy. Too many people fall into that trap and their marriage doesn't even last as long as it took to plan the wedding.
2007-10-28 01:58:58 · answer #3 · answered by Rockit 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey I feel you. Our wedding was canceled too and ended up bieng a quickie on his lunch break at the courthouse...reasons too long to list.
I don't think you didn't want to be married to your husband as some posters are saying. I think it's your freaking wedding day and we deserve some recognition for that right? Big wedding or Small it's the biggest commitment of your life and you want a little more fanfare than a trip to get milk at the grocery store. It's so natural to be dissapointed. I definately was and that doesn't make you materialstic!
Talk with your husband honestly and let him know how you are feeling. Set a plan for a big vow renewal within the next year or so (gives you time to save). In the meantime realize the guy probably did the best he could and you love him right? Well, we are just as married as the people who got the white dress and all that stuff and in some ways much better off. Don't let this affect your marriage as a whole.
2007-10-28 07:25:52 · answer #4 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should the marriage suffer because of one day? You can do a vow renewal and have it with the trimmings if you plan and save for it.
The 'wedding dress, honeymoon, rings' they are symbols and more for others than for the couple. Wedding Day is exactly that one day kept in photo albums and frames. Marriage is about your life together and keeping each other safe and happy every day of your life together.
Don't make your marriage suffer over this, enjoy the fact your wedding day was different to everyone else's and enjoy your partner and this feeling will pass.
As I said at the beginning no reason why you can not plan and save for a vow renewal. It is the substance of marriage that is important not the pomp and circumstance of the wedding day.
Think about what you were doing, thinking at the time you got married and why you married your husband in the first place.
2007-10-27 20:32:47 · answer #5 · answered by sag_kat2chat 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand how you feel. I didn't have any of those things either, and I have been married for 10 years this year! I feel the same way you do, and I am happily married. I don't think that you are unhappily married for saying so;in fact, most women start planning their wedding when they are girls. And we really look forward to it. So shame on those of you for making her feel wrong about wanting to wear a wedding dress.
One thing I learned early on ia to make decisions that I am comfortable with later, not others. So if YOU, want to wear a wedding dress and have a honeymoon. Do it! To hell with what everyone else thinks!
2016-04-13 18:53:09 · answer #6 · answered by Latresa 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
marriage is a lifetime commitment, a wedding/reception is a one-day party. you can still go on a honeymoon if you feel that will help you move on. plan a trip to hawaii for your next anniversary. save $100 (or whatever you can afford) a month for the next couple years and buy a new ring for your vow renewals. you can't ever relive the day your got married, but you can still get the things you feel you are missing.
2007-10-28 07:43:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is a problem with your sex life, finances, religious beliefs, decisions on whether to have children/raise children, health, or any of the other gazillion things that married couples deal with, then you need to work it out -- counseling would be a good step. Don't blame it on the absence of a dress, or a ring, or a honeymoon.
2007-10-27 22:00:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi there. if youre still with youre husband. Why dont you renew youre vows and get that dress you always wished for and go on that honeymoon you missed out on so much. And if youre not with youre husband now. dont worry because at the end of the day, you saved a lot of money. x
2007-10-27 21:56:50 · answer #9 · answered by pinkangelak 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think not having a fancy ceremony is what's causing the marriage to suffer.
What are the biggest problems? Maybe once you resolve those you can have a big annivresary party.
2007-10-27 20:26:11 · answer #10 · answered by Asked and Answered 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋