My daughter, 4, has gone to the bathroom alone since age 2. Now with new baby she refuses to go alone. Normal?

Question

My daughter, 4, was very easy to potty-train at 2 years old and always went to the bathroom alone until her baby sister was born 8 months ago. Now she refuses to go unless I accompany her and will even hold it until she is frantic. Is this normal behavior? We never went through a separation anxiety phase. Could this be it?

Answer 1

She wants more attention!!

Answer 2

Your daughter is JEALOUS of the attention you are paying to her little sister ... she won't 'go' alone because if you are in the bathroom with her, you are paying attention to HER and not to the baby.
Try sitting down with your older daughter and tell her that you are sorry that you have been 'ignoring her' and paying too much attention to the baby. Tell her that she is a 'big girl' now and that you can have 'more time' for her if she can give some of her time to taking care of the baby ... let her pick the baby's outfits and lay them out in order, let her wash the baby while you 'hold the baby' up in the baby tub. Praise your daughter for EVERYTHING she does that the baby can't do yet ... and GO TO THE BATHROOM WITH HER and praise her for using the bathroom ... and say how GLAD you'll be when the baby can use the toilet like a 'big girl' too ... your daughter will feel better about herself and her abilities, and she'll eventually start using the toilet on her own again.

Answer 3

I know older children can regress temporarily, in fact I think its quite normal. Maybe they think if they act more like a baby they'll get a little more of the baby lovin' .Maybe if you encourage her big girl behavior and point out the fun things she can do now that shes not a baby anymore she'll come around on her own. The last thing you want to do is make her feel bad about it so choose your words carefully. I would just wait it out unless it becomes more serious or your instincts tell you there is a problem then I would see your doctor for reassurance. Good Luck!!!

Answer 4

This is normal. My son did the same thing when his twin sisters were born. I just treated him with patience and lots of love, gradually encouraging him to spend more time in the bathroom alone than with me( I would take him in and stay less and less time) Then I would praise him for being such a big boy and come up with something fun for us to do afterward. It gradually stopped being a problem.
He just celebrated his 14th birthday this week and all of that is but a dim, distant memory!

Hang in there, these things pass so quickly. Just keep relaxed as relaxed about it as you can. Of course she's feeling needy of your attention right now. Be patient and loving and it will all even out.

Answer 5

Oh, Yes its normal, very normal. I know it gets frustrating because she was doing it herself, but the new baby is taking more of your time and this is her way of getting you all to herself, I'm not sure what you can do about it I normally tell my boy "show mommy what a big boy you are by going yourself" or something encouraging, it never works when you get upset, I have to sound good - upbeat, encouraging him how much he would be helping me if he went by himself. I don't think this is an anxiety phase it would be more than just the potty. And if it is then consider your self lucky.

Answer 6

Very Normal. She is no longer the baby anymore. When she was the baby, she was perfectly content and happy being Little Miss Independent. But now that she is not the baby and being independent has been status quo, it is now a chore to her and something she has to bear versus being fun and appreciated as it were before the new baby came along. So now that Little Miss Independent is not accepted, it is mandated it is not fun anymore, plus as a new baby, teh baby is getting tons of attention so she wants attention again. make sure while you're giving teh new babt plenty of attention, you arent neglecting Little Miss Indpependnt or not giving her as many hugs or compliments. She still needs those Mom.

Answer 7

Very normal

shes just jealous and wants more attention

Im 14
and I was so used to being the baby
untill my brother started a family and had a baby

I did a lot of weird things out of jealousy
and sometimes still do.
And its been 3 years.

Answer 8

my 3 1/2 yr old does this same act.she always went to the toilet on her own then when her baby sister whom is now 10 months came into the family , she suddenly "was afraid "to go on her own. i simply put my foot down and make her go.dont feed into this behavior because it will simply encourage her to keep it up.my kid did this for a month then stopped after she didnt get a reaction out of me.good luck.

Answer 9

She is jealous of your newest child. She is thinking that you don't like her anymore, or are neglecting her. i know you arent, but i went through the same thing when my sister was born (i was 2 1/2) She just wants you to spend more time with her.

Answer 10

this is very normal behaviour from older children it is a way of trying to get you attention as she sees the baby getting all your attention. try including her in helping you with the baby by fetching the nappies and wipes etc and when baby goes to sleep give her all your attention. get housework done by encouraging her to help odd socks turned into dusting puppets etc works. Try doing things together like baking, reading and even making christmas decorations. after this she should settle down. My 3yr old used to get like that when her baby cousin is around as she is used to being the baby and getting 100% attention and i have encouraged her to get nappies etc and praised her when she does it now she loves to see him coming and doesn't mind sharing. encouragement and praise is the key.

Answer 11

yes she is reverting baby to be baby like because of the new baby. The new child is getting more attention (so it may seem to her) than she is. It's normal and she wants your attention. Just try to spend sometime with her while the new baby is sleeping.