What do husband say about their wives..........?

Question

Here are some revealing quotes from actual husbands....

*I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
*I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
*Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
*The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said," Dust!"
* Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
* A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said,"God, I wish I had your will power."
* Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-
in-law.
*Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.
*A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife Wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

* First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
* How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
*Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
*If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
* Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
*A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying!"



Pls star if you like them.......

Answer 1

HILARIOUS LOOOOOOOOL

now for the record , do you remember the vesita :D

Answer 2

Hey hasafer, I thought it was was a free consultation! No vesita! Get it?!!!

That was hilarious hope! Tell me what you think of this ... it's for free. Unlike SOME people! lol

A Dictionary for Women

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. -- A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. -- What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. -- You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat, and cleaned everything up, but he "made the dinner".

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. -- Gotta get married in a church.

Childbirth (child*brth) n. -- You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus...breathe....push...."

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. -- An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. -- A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&M's.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. -- The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. -- To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery list (grow*ser*ee list) n. -- What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. -- Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician".

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. -- Similar to a black hole in space: if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. -- On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

Park (park) v./n. -- Before children, a verb meaning "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. -- The most important ingredient for dating, marriage, and children. See also "tranquilizers".

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. -- A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. -- Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Answer 3

The break up letter, God's email and definition of wife and mother were just too good. Tomorrow morning the first thing i would be doing ofcourse after brushing my teeth would be telling them to my friends! You deserve lots of stars! Ok my Character map isnt allowing me to copy stars, so please adjust with these hearts! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥... LOL God knows how many thumbs down i'll get for this one! Anyway, Cheers! :) Rudra

Answer 4

truth, truth, nothing but the truth
other was hurt by the truth

Answer 5

ha ha

Answer 6

brought a chuckle to my face

Answer 7

So funny!

Answer 8

hahahahahaha............. looooooooolz :D

so funny cutie Hope :-)

Answer 9

Hi Hope,

Nice Joke (really you made me laugh) Thanks dear

Answer 10

great