First, I'm an adult and I think maybe I'm too old to be thinking like this, somehow this question seems shallow in some respect, but I need other opinions.
Why can't I find someone (a boyfriend) like me? I dunno, I never felt like I ever fit in much.
This is me: I always find out guys like me when it's too late... after months have passed and they are going out with someone else. I get kinda shy, I find it really hard to emotionally connect with people on a romantic level. I guess it makes me seem inapproachable. Sometimes people mistake my shyness or quiteness for conceit. People tell me I'm pretty, but I don't know, I really don't see myself that way, I'm just normal. I'm a light-skinned black woman, I love science & math, I'm a Biology major. I listen to all kinds of music from mostly rock, but also classical, R&B, even some country. I love animals, as one can tell from my dogs, ferret, and snakes (yes snakes, just 2 small ones).
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2007-10-27 16:53:35 · 14 answers · asked by Princess Leia 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I always feel like when I know there's a guy that I like that I just wouldn't fit in... Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough, so I don't even attempt to let the guy know I like him because I don't want to be rejected and embarrassed... Sometimes I meet guys who have issues I just can't live with... like they try to get controlling, or they don't like animals, or they only listen to rap all day. I can't deal with any of that!!!
Maybe I'm just being a cowards, I dunno... I'm just sick of being alone, but alone seems more pleasing than being with someone who going to make you miserable or knowing you can't connect with them and they will just end up dumping you anyway, right?
I don't know anymore. I could sure use some opinions. Thanks!
2007-10-27 16:59:03 · update #1
One thing that might help is that you can act a little more outgoing, and I don't mean to insult you at all. You seem like a very kind woman, but people (as you said) may have mistaken your shyness as utter disinterest. When a potential boyfriend strikes up a conversation, you can comment on what he's saying and ask questions. This makes it seem like you're interested whether you really are or not. Then they might stick around or ask you out instead of getting the wrong idea and moving on. You don't necessarily need to connect with people romantically right away. You could end up making good friends either way, even if you don't get into an exclusive relationship like what you're looking for. You know what I mean?
2007-10-27 17:00:14 · answer #1 · answered by htamboer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what you mean by the idea of a "boyfriend just like me." I'm generally a shy person, however, I started breaking out of that after a trip to Mexico where there weren't so many men with blonde hair and blue eyes. But, yeah, you might be trying a little bit too hard.
Try to see if you are ever attracted to opposites. Live a little bit, and take a few more risks. If you have sex always use protection though... Come check out some of the people at this site: www.yuwielife.com You'll be glad that you did.
2007-10-27 17:00:09 · answer #2 · answered by James B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, here's a prime example of the opposite of my situation. I suppose it is harder for you because it is less socially acceptable to for you to ask a guy on a date. I have trouble finding a girl to date, but you seem like you have some of the qualities that I am looking for. I'm not coming on to you, I'm just stating...I don't know what I'm stating. I think you should look at the most recent question that I posted. Maybe a different perspective will help.
2007-10-27 16:59:28 · answer #3 · answered by The Backstage Bandit 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be patient. First of all, you don't want a guy just like you - you want a guy who likes just you.
Second - be yourself. Keep on with your own interests and intelligence and developing who you are. It may be you are too "old" for the guys your age. But be patient. Your time will come and the right man will be the one who is also patient, who will find you and find you out. Learning to know someone takes time - and that has to happen before real love arrives.
It can be tough. But when it happens - trust me, girl, it will all be worth it.
2007-10-27 16:58:05 · answer #4 · answered by Uncle John 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound almost exactly like my girlfriend lol. just give it time, don't try to find love, let it come to you. BTW i always found it better not to try to have someone just like you (that would get pretty boring after awhile)..me and my g.f are complete opposites, that's what gives our relationship a little spice :), we've been together for two years and it's it's going great!
what I'm trying to say is, there's nothing wrong with you, eventually you'll find the right guy :), just don't focus on it too much
2007-10-27 17:01:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmmmmm... i think your shyness keeps you from finding a bf and also, a woman with snakes doesn't sound too attractive to me.
you seem to be a pretty nice person with high morals and no, you don't sound weird at all.
next time you meet someone new, just try to flirt with him first.
try to get his number and call him and show him interests.
maybe you are the type of woman who gets easily misunderstood by others.
you need to open up and be more outgoing.
good luck!
2007-10-27 17:03:39 · answer #6 · answered by Emily 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First let me answer your questions. You will find a boyfriend like you. No, you're not weird at all. And yes, I think you're "thinking" too hard.
Anyway, the thing is, don't worry so much. Just have faith in yourself and God! The right time will come.
2007-10-27 16:58:16 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever thought of trying to find someone who is NOT like you? I always thought it better to have someone who compliments you, meaning that they take up in areas where you lack. I would give that a go, you may just be more successful.
2007-10-27 16:57:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
everybody feels that way sometimes...just be yourself and if you like someone try to get to know them..eventually there will be a guy that will make the first move.they say when you least expect it.i really hope i helped good luck!
2007-10-27 16:59:13 · answer #9 · answered by ladybug71 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Blah blah blah blah blah blah. I don't need to even read your post to know than one day you're going to be that cat lady down the street. You know the one I'm talking about? So just get used to being alone and start stocking up one Purina Cat Chow or whatever the hell cats eat.
2007-10-27 16:58:50 · answer #10 · answered by Einstein 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋