Is being addicted to something a choice the addict makes?

Question

is it by choice when he keeps going back to the thing he is addicted to and refuses to change even though his behavior is harming his family? Please help me understand what's going through an addict's mind

Answer 1

No, an addict never makes that choice. People go to jail and lose family, live on the streets and sell their bodies and souls for drugs. That should show you how bad it gets. It is never a choice.
I was addicted to painkillers for years. In that time I could not go without them or I couldn't get up in the morning. Literally. There was a time I would have sold all I had for a handful of pills. There were times I stole from people I loved. I lost friendships, I bounced checks, I wrecked cars, I spent time in jail. Sounds like hell? It is, it was.
I've been clean 1 yr this December, but I still have dreams about pillls. I still get antsy when I see them on television.

Does this help you understand?

Answer 2

That's a complicated question. It may have been his choice the first time he tried whatever it is he's addicted to. If he has any family history of addiction, then he is genetically wired for addiction, and needs treatment. Whats going through his mind? His addiction.

Get him treatment if he'll go for it. If not, get as far away as fast as you can, because he will ruin your life. There are no two ways about it, if refuses help LEAVE.

I can't stress that enough, so once again, if he's willing to get professional help, and your willing to deal with the hell that is a recovering addict then great. If not, GET OUT.

Even if he does get help, your life, and your children's lives will
be hellish during his recovery, which could take years and will only work if he's totally committed to it.

Please do yourself and your kids a favor and vaminos.
Seeing a counseler would be a good first step, both to help you understand your husband, and to help you through the decision and hard times ahead.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

Being an addict means you can not stop yourself from doing what you are addicted to, even if it means hurting yourself and others around you. Most addicts do feel bad about hurting the ones around them but the addiction overrides any guilt or remorse they may feel. Sometimes when someone refuses help it can mean they think they can't be helped or would be on their own though the ordeal. Make it known that you support them and you'll be there for them. Support is one of the biggest things that can help. You must let them know that you don't agree with what they are doing, be firm, but that if they are willing to put the effort in then so are you.

Answer 4

From what I understand, addiction is mood altering ... it is used to cover up uncomfortable feelings. People sometimes abuse substances when they're depressed. Addicts need the help of a professional to stop their addictions, and this is a choice they have to make on their own. Basically, they have to be tired of what the addiction is doing to them. Most of the time, counselors will tell recovering addicts that they shouldn't be in a relationship during their first stages of recovery (if it's someone you're dating) because it adds more stress to their situation and there's a chance they will start using again. The only person you can control is YOU. If you're living with or involved with someone who is addicted and you are trying to change them, you are codependent. You cannot be happy in your codependency. Do a google search on "codependency" and do a self-test on about.com to learn more about it.

Answer 5

It's not a choice, it is a compulsion. That does not mean that you should excuse the addicts behavior because it is not beyond their control, just difficult for them to control. The addict needs to make a choice to stop doing the destructive behavior. It's ok to say "I don't want to have anything more to do with you until you stop this behavior." Saying that and sticking to it may help to bring on the crisis for the addict that is needed for change to occur. HOWEVER, once the behavior changes, try to be as supportive as you can and understand that the addict may faulter on occasion while on the road to recovery.

Join Alanon to help you understand and deal with the addict.

Answer 6

Addiction can be compared to an unhealthy, fanatical love. Unnatural and arbitrary hedonic management by substances or stereotyped processes distorts and cripples the psyche and places the individual at a grave survival disadvantage. The addict is double-minded because he cannot really and truly desire recovery until he already has it. Recovery is about restoring natural, spontaneous and healthy regulation of mood and feelings. Because addicts may be seriously impaired in their pre-addictive self-care and self-management they often require prolonged help learning to feel well without resorting to the "tricks" of addiction.

definite and well-established addiction, nothing whatever changes – at least not for long. Or if there is change, it is change for the worse: the addict’s outrageous addictive behavior sometimes seems almost to feed upon and draw nourishment from his passionate promises that "it will never happen again." This phenomenon leaves those who have to deal with the addict in a confused, discouraged, angry and usually depressed state.

For the addict the prospect of giving up his addictive behavior and the feelings it brings him activates profound feelings of loss, deprivation and despair. The addict is attached to his addiction in a primitive and pre-rational fashion just like a lover is attached to his beloved

Answer 7

In the beginning, before one becomes addicted to a substance or behavior, it is a decision to use it or act that way, but once addiction sets in, and as it is a disease, control over one's mind is lost to the substance use or to that behavior! Remorse is a common feeling the addict shares with other addicts more often than not when an addict finds that he/she cannot stop and sees the pain caused! Yet the compulsion remains.

Answer 8

no. an addict usually has a genetic predisposition. that doesn't mean it ok or it's an "out". it's just harder to not fall into the trap to begin with and more difficult to quit. you must remember that an addict will always be an addict he/she just might not be using now. it's a lifetime struggle for them. please too be patient and expect relapses. it's part of the disease. would you fault a dieter for cheating or gaining weight, a person suffering from depression to benefit from treatment then to get depressed from time to time. try to look at the whole. as a span of one's life. they also are not thinking rationally when using. for them to commit to something or truly see the value of their family they first have to be sober. most of all do NOT enable. set limits and consequences. if it's too easy they'll never change. it might have to be that NOONE associates with him till he's made an effort to change and is sober for X amount of time. have a family/friend kind of intervention and lay it on the line.
good luck

Answer 9

An addict if he kick the habit is very likely to start a new addiction. So there must be a mental factor involved.

Answer 10

It's too hard to stop, so the easiest thing to do is put it off until tomorrow. It's an unconscious choice I would say. The only way most addicts will quit is if they are not GIVEN the choice and they have to stop. By themselves it is always 'tomorrow'.