My best friend of about 5 years became a marine back in 04. Hes been on 1 tour in Iraq and is currently in Japan. He told me about 2 weeks ago that they told him they're probally sending him back to Iraq again. He wants to go. He says he wants to be with his brothers fighting. He called me today really drunk and half asleep. I couldn't understand him too well, he was sluring really bad. This is what I managed to understand. He told me that while he was in Iraq, a friend of his asked to borrow his humvee and he said yes. The Humvee got blown up with his friend in it. I heard his voice start breaking and he kept saying, "It's my fault. I should've told him no. I'm the one who should be dead." I was speechless. He told me he wanted to keep drinking I told him to go to bed because it was 3am where he was at. He didnt want to. I managed to keep him on the phone long enough to where I heard him start snoring. Once i knew he was asleep i hung up. . What do you say in a situation like that?
2007-10-27 12:57:29 · 7 answers · asked by XTAL 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
You did the right thing. Be his friend as best as you can.
US Army 15 years
OIF 2003
P.S. Thank you for being there.
2007-10-27 13:41:23 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
whoa, whoa, whoa... hold on. Before you do ANYTHING you're going to need to get the whole story. You don't just "borrow a humvee and take it for a spin outside the line"
In essence, what you got of this story rings a little untrue. Could just be the alcohol talking. If anything, his buddy was slated for a mission and had to go, and MAYBE that involved a humvee that your friend was responsible for or was supposed to be driving. In that case, you can explain to your friend that it wasn't his responsibility... a mission is a mission (with its determined personnel) and if he wasn't supposed to be there then he doesn't need to blame himself.
2007-10-27 20:12:47 · answer #2 · answered by promethius9594 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing in the short term, by keeping him on the phone. You should encourage your friend to get some help, he is really badly traumatized and it's not his fault. He will need assistance in getting through this. He may want to go back as a way of punishing himself because he feels responsible.
This is a really good, sad article:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/31/AR2007083101395.html
2007-10-27 20:06:18 · answer #3 · answered by sbcalif 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He's dealing with self-imposed grief. You should not impose yourself too strongly on him, his marine buddies and his squad leader will help him through it. Avoid talking to him when he's drunk. When he's sober, ask him how he feels. Just because he responds he's OK, don't take it as entirely true but do listen to what he says afterwards. Do this every once in awhile. If you notice a bad pattern, you need to tell him to see one of the therapists on base when he gets back stateside to see if they can help him deal with post traumatic stress.
2007-10-27 21:05:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just listen and be a friend. its a hard time when a friend goes on the mission you were supposed to be on and doesnt come back. ive seen it many times before...
2007-10-27 20:02:00 · answer #5 · answered by kickrocks54 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just what you did.
God Bless you for being there for a wounded soldier, especially one with "wounds that don't show"
2007-10-27 22:51:17 · answer #6 · answered by Gray Wanderer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be there when he needs. I think its hard to think what to say, best to just listen. I wish him the best
2007-10-27 22:42:55 · answer #7 · answered by luvmyhubby 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋