My daughter is turning 11, and having a lot of friends over. She really doesn't want anything (besides a cat, LOL) and she was fine with the suggestion for people to bring "toys for tots" unwrapped toys to donate before Christmas to the toys for tot charity.
How can I word this without being offensive? Is it wrong to ask for a specific gift? If you received this invitation, would you feel you are being "forced" to give to charity? I want to make sure people know that they can bring a gift if they want, but also to make the option of the donation to charity. Suggestions, or should I just say nothing to be more polite?
2007-10-27 08:45:02 · 17 answers · asked by greengo 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I think this is a wonderful idea! You could word the invitation to read something like: Annie or whatever your daughter's name is, wants no presents for herself, so please don't feel obligated to bring anything. Any gifts she does receive will be given to Toys for Tots . If you would like to contribute it is entirely up to you.
2007-10-27 09:24:43 · answer #1 · answered by poopsie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a great idea. I have heard that this is actually becoming a trend since birthdays are such a ridiculously commercial event now.
I like the idea from the person who said in lieu of gifts. You should make it clear that your daughter does not want gifts otherwise people will feel they have to not only bring her something but bring something extra for charity which is not a fair request.
If the people were already planning to buy something then i don't see why they would care if it goes to charity instead of your daughter. However, i don't think you should allow your daughter to pick and choose from the gifts brought. Either they are for her or for charity. She shouldn't be allowed to donate only the ones she doesn't like. I doubt this was her plan, but someone referenced it I think and I just wanted to be clear.
2007-10-27 16:35:24 · answer #2 · answered by M L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think if you give out a birthday invitation and ADD to it that this year your daughter/you want tots toys to be able to give to charity then i am sure that the others will understand.
that is far better than your daughter getting a load of stuff she mostly doesn't like or won't use after all and toddlers would appreciate it
what a great idea - i hope it catches on!
2007-10-27 16:04:46 · answer #3 · answered by Aslan 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Use this idea as a theme... You can send invitations with pictures of the needful children. or put a "slogan" on the invitations, like "Give a smile to these tots" or "...your daughter's name... wish for her birthday" and then the details about the gift to bring, the date, the venue, etc... you don't have to worry about being offensive or not, and please tell your daughter how proud of her you are... being polite will not change these children's christmas, your daughter's wish will. Good luck :)
N
2007-10-27 16:00:38 · answer #4 · answered by Topaps 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While it's exemplary of you and your daughter to want to give to Toys for Tots, combining that with a birthday is almost like telling the guests what to do with their money. It would create an awkward situation for everyone. Think how you would feel if your daughter got an invitation in the mail and it included your message.
2007-10-27 16:09:19 · answer #5 · answered by phlada64 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think this is a great idea; I did a similar thing one year for my son's b'day. We asked them to bring a can of food for our church food pantry.
Here's how you can say it:
Instead of bringing gifts, we will have a box available for donations to the Toys for Tots in Jane's name!
2007-10-27 21:45:40 · answer #6 · answered by valschmal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, go with your first instinct. Let people know that your daughter prefers a gift that gives to charity. That way there'll be no misunderstandings when she gets something choses not to keep it.
And I'm sure most sensible adults will appreciate this coming from an 11 year old.
2007-10-27 15:54:40 · answer #7 · answered by KanCan do anything 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would make it a birthday party for your daughter- gifts and all.
Sometime in early December have a separate Toys for Tots fund raing event
2007-10-27 16:23:10 · answer #8 · answered by heyMare 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's wrong to ask for a specific gift even if it's going to charity. There is no rule that guests HAVE to give you a gift.
2007-10-27 23:17:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
since you are donating the "gifts" to charity, I'd just make a note.. in Lieu of gifts, we are donating toys to "Toys for Tots" please feel free to participate. if they don't want to do that, it's up to them...
2007-10-27 15:53:37 · answer #10 · answered by Foggy Idea 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋