So, my sister moved back home and she has 2 kids. Both ADD, and never disciplined. She has a 7yr old, which he isn't so bad, but she has a 13yr old, that lies, steals, manipulates every situation. What should I do to help ?
( they are not on add med, family doesn't agree with those kind of meds)
2007-10-27 07:38:46 · 15 answers · asked by Ash 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Cut the sugar and see about getting her therapy.
2007-10-27 07:42:12 · answer #1 · answered by peaches6 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think the ADD and the lying, stealing and manipulating are two separate issues. Why did your sister move back home? Why doesn't she have her own functional home to raise her kids in? ADD just means that the kid might have some issues paying attention, but the other is for some other reason, usually because the child is a vulnerable person that doesn't have any rights and depends on the adults around it to make the world a safe and wonderful place to live and the adults choose not to do that, so the kids becomes kind of demented and acts out in terrible ways. We can hope that that terrible thing is that your sister decided not to discipline, but I think you are in denial, unless you are just saving energy by not listing all the other things here.
I suggest that every person that lives in the house with those children enter into family counseling with a licensed child and family therapist that works with ADD not addressed by medication. The therapist then will suggest when to break up into groups and what groups to break up into and possible steps/discipline etc to take.
2007-10-27 15:10:25 · answer #2 · answered by dontdoubtit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a serious family talk. If things do not change and mom does not get help with the kids, whatever it is discipline or meds, they will have to move elsewhere. There is only one place where you can have peace, and that is in your house. You can not allow others to come into your home and disrupt your life to this extent. It is your way, or the highway. Now I do know that you will have to compromise a little, when there are guests in your home. However, these guest have taken it to the extreme. Talk with sister today and tell her that you are willing to help, but she will have to get the kids under control today.
2007-10-27 07:45:34 · answer #3 · answered by 2Cute2B4Got 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, I reported Coty because that was beyond irritating.
Anyways, so if this is YOUR house then I'd tell her you love her, but she needs to find somewhere else to stay until she can teach her kids how to behave or will accept that they NEED to be medicated, it's not something that's just going to go away.
If you are also living at home, then if you are old enough you can move out, but otherwise it's up to your parents to deal with it. I'd get a lock for my room so that nothing gets stolen.
As far as "retraining" the kids, that's not your job, and there's not much you can do about it.
2007-10-27 07:44:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your neice has obviously come from a home in turmoil. Her parents broke up, she recently moved away from her school, friends and home, she is living with new people.
Your sister is probably not focused on the kids because of her own personal problems.
Try to spend one and one time with your neice. Help her with homework, talk to her, and make her feel important.
Talk to your sister about getting family therapy because it sounds like the kids need it because of the upheval in their lives.
2007-10-27 07:48:54 · answer #5 · answered by Libby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 14 and i was like that too and then my parents scared me with some stories about liers and stealer....make stuff up like my parents told me that in stores there are cameras where you woyld least expect so if you take something and get away with it then next time you come back to the store they'll know what you look like and catchh you!!! that scared the hell out oof me and it's practically true soo tell her that and for lying just act like you have the truth in youor head and you might catch them in a lie sometimes the little one you can just lie to haha
i hope i helped...good luckk
2007-10-27 07:44:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your sister's kids need some stability. The kids' bad behavior is the result of the upheaval in their family.
The 13 year old is hurting very badly. You could help by spending some on one time with her. I would bet she gets little to no adult attention. If the adults in her life don't start showing her love, she will start turning to boys, and that could lean to teen motherhood.
2007-10-27 07:47:20 · answer #7 · answered by SunnyMoon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your family does not agree with the meds then try some other form such as coffee. the medication is actually caffienated wich helps slow the child down coffee will do the same thing but not as well as the medication.
2007-10-27 07:45:43 · answer #8 · answered by Beverly C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of the niece's problem is so obvious...I guess no one in your family remembers puberty...and on top of ADD...what does the family not agreeing with "those kinds of meds" has to do whether the MOTHER of the children making sure they get what they NEED?
2007-10-27 15:57:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Behavioral Therapy/Behavior Modification
As the name implies, this approach focuses on behavior — changing unwanted behaviors through rewards
Client-Centered/Person-Centered Therapy
Client-centered counseling is a well-established helping approach for a wide range of problems.
http://www.focusas.com/AttentionalDisorders-Links.html
2007-10-27 07:49:55 · answer #10 · answered by Godzilla Gal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you/they don't want science's help, then live with the full consequences.
If your opinion differs from the parents', read up on behavior modification for your own health. Here's a great site:
http://appliedbehavioranalysis.blogspot.com/
2007-10-27 09:09:30 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋