MATURE people only plz!?

Question

Why do men look at porn? Is it anything against your woman?
I am in a wonderful relationship, great guy. We trust each other. Sex is great. About once or twice a week (keep in mind we have been together almost a yr, and just like all relstionships, it use to be like 3-5 times a week at first.) I am always "ready and eager" so no prob there. He's isnt REAL kinky, but its still great. THE PROBLEM: He works from home and 1-2 times a week, ALONE, he looks at porn! He likes to mailny watch girls play with toys. BUT he doesnt want to use toys in our "sessions". He also raised cane when I had one, never used it since we been together, so I trashed it so that he would SHUT UP!
Is this a problem (HIM WATCHING PORN ALONE)? Do I need to just chill on it? Let it go? We OCCASIONALLY will watch a "movie" together.

Help me out here. What can I do?

He knows I dont like him looking at it ALONE.

I dont go snooping, we live together, its MY computer. I didnt even know how to look at the history. He changed the tollbar thingy and I was trying to add a site to my favorites and found it.

He doesnt "pleasure" himself, so he says, he says he just looks and its bc its just something to do when he get bored, occasionally

Answer 1

I learnt when my ex and I went to one of those marriage seminars, that men are stimulated VISUALLY and women are stimulated EMOTIONALLY....that helped desenthisize me to a lot of things that annoyed me about men in general.
Your guy watching porn literally has NOTHING to do with you or that you are failing at any aspect of his and your relationship.

But he clearly has the idea that if YOU had a toy, he unconsciously identifies you as one of those actresses in the porn films and it's distressing to him...REMEMBER, this is all on his subconscious level, so he's probably not sure WHY he doesn't like it, he just knows he doesn't.

I'd just let him enjoy his little pornfest alone...that's what I did with my ex at the time...because, all *I* could think of when *I* watched any of it was "how can anyone not tell this is all faked?" and that was counter-productive to the intention of the desired result (visual sexual gratification).

Hope this helps!

Answer 2

Don't ask him about bringing a toy into the bedroom. Let him walk in on you reenacting a scene from a movie. He'll love it! I know it sounds silly, but guys are jealous of the toys. He thinks that you might like it too much and use it when he's not around or you might like it better than him. He just needs the visual that he gets from the movie with you and he might like it so much that he'll stop watching the porn start watching you. A lot of men watch porn. I think it's natural depending on how often.

Answer 3

In and of itself, him watching porn is not a problem. However he seems to have a double standard. He likes watching girls with toys, but won't let you own one. So whatever turn on he gets from the porn, he's not transferring to you. That can be a problem eventually.

You need to crack that shell and find out why he won't explore his fantasies with you. He might feel ashamed of himself and isn't willing to sully you with his desires. Or he might be worried that the real thing won't live up to the fantasy.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Nothing at all abnormal with a male viewing porn on his own for whatever reason. Nice when couples can watch or view some together at times also. I know many ladies who are also guilty of peeking at porn sites and there again there are various reasons. I certainly would suggest that you chill out on his viewing porn and perhaps even ask him why and what he gets from this. Communication is number one and as such he needs to know how it makes you feel but you need to be aware of his reason why he enjoys this form of fantasy.

Answer 5

Him looking at porn a few times a week is normal, BUT his double standard that you are not entitled to similar solo enjoyment (toy) is a major problem. I suggest talking to him in an intimate setting about why he feels this way and that you consider it a double standard. He may feel threatened that you would prefer toys to him. If he can't get the big picture --- that there is nothing wrong with you enjoying toys AND him, your future with him will be repressive for you.

Answer 6

I dont think there is anything wrong with porn. I use to be against it, but know that me and my husband have been married 5 years im ok with it. I would just chill. The only thing i would wonder about is his infatuation with toys, and the fact that he doesnt want to use them with you. SOmething doesnt sound right about that.

Answer 7

Porn is not a good thing I have to say if you are not enough for him then he has a real problem, Porn can lead to rape and other types of problems, tell him I love you if I am not enough for you then can you live your life alone with just porn?
it has to me or the porn.

Answer 8

Honestly? You shouldn't have any problem with him watching porn unless you're insecure about yourself. Do you go snooping for that sort of stuff? You're in the wrong for doing that anyways, thats his own personal thing. Maybe he likes it on other women and not you.

What you can do is relax. Maybe the way you did it before just wasnt what he was looking for.

Answer 9

i dont think it's that big of a deal when guys watch porn, but if he's going to watch porn then you should be able to have your toys!

tell him no porn if he isnt allowing you to have your toy.

Answer 10

I think it is ok.But why did you throw away your toy for him.You might need some relief some night when he had tired himself out watching porn.