How come ther are so many ex-Mormons?

Question

I have met so many that are no longer Mormons and they say that it is a very deceptive organization which, if you leave, you are shunned by the Mormon community.

Answer 1

You see, this is the problem with taking a few (even a few hundred) case studies about a group of people and then generalizing it about the group at large: you fool yourself into thinking you have found an all-encompassing simple black and white answer to an otherwise complex issue.

I too have met ex-Mormons who feel that the church is very deceptive and that they were "shunned" after leaving. I also know many ex-Mormons who have no ill sentiments of the church, just that it isn't for them. They are also still in great standing with their faithful LDS family. Every situation is different.

When I first converted to the LDS religion, I got a LOT OF HEAT from my Catholic family, especially my God Parents and other parishoners of my local church whom I had known since I was a baby. I wouldn't go as far as to say this is representative of the Roman Catholic Church at large however. This likely just means that specific congregation wasn't very tolerant. Or it could even mean (though I'm reluctant to admit this possibility) that *I took their reactions way too personally and perceived it as persecution when it may have been no such thing*.

People's perceptions of their relationships with other people are always colored with their biases

I think it's interesting how people speak louder against something that they truly can't let go of. People who do this usually don't want to divorce themselves from it, they just want to see something change. Look at relationships. They psycho stalker ex-girlfriend who spreads rumors about you deep down probably doesn't want to "save other girls from making the same mistake", they are bitter and want you back!

PS: During the time when I had officially removed my name from the membership records (thus cutting myself off from the LDS body), the Bishop still came and visited me every Saturday. We'd sit on my porch, talk about football, and argue politics. We managed to have a very amicable relationship without ever referring to the gospel. I wouldn't call this being shunned. Then again unlike so many ex-Mormons I was never hostile to the church. It's hard to fellowship someone if all they do is dwell on how bad your church is.

Answer 2

"And, unfortunately, there are those who join the church, so taht they can leave a minute later and say "I'm an EX-MORMON!" They can then to go any one ignorant of our beliefs, and tell them anything they want, no matter how stupid or sensationalistic, and say "Hey, I was a Mormon, I KNOW!" Even tho they were only Mormon for about five minutes, and joined just so they can leave and call themselves "ex'Mormon". "

Are you kidding me? That is the dumbest reasoning I've heard yet for explaining why people leave the church. Here's why I did. I was born into the church. I was very active growing up. Deacon quorum president, teacher's quorum president, 1st assistant in priest's quorum. Graduated from early morning seminary with perfect attendance, Taught sunday school, Elder's quorum secretary, served an honorable full time mission. I walked the walk and talked the talk, but never felt what everyone said I was supposed to be feeling considering I was doing everything I was supposed to do. I also saw a lot of people who were very bad people, but were revered as wonderful people in the church. And after all that stuff, I still got screwed over by the church. I married an abusive woman, who then convinced my bishop and SP that I was a bad person, and was just abandoning her when I finally got sick of being abused, and left. I had my temple recommend automatically taken away when I filed for divorce, even though I told my bishop I was being abused. He didn't believe me or care (where was the revelation he should have had as a "judge in Isreal"?) My SP threatened me with church discipline for leaving her until I went off on him and set him straight. Then when she wanted to be married again, she had to have our sealing cancelled, which is a process that goes to the prophet, and she was able to pull one over on him, and get approval from the "prophet" to go to the temple. So how can I still believe there is modern day revelation when the prophet can be conned by someone like that? The fact is I can't: therefore I don't believe the church is true. However, that being said, I hate the stupid lies people spread about it, and the attacks on the members. Mormon people are generally good people just trying to do what they think is right. I believe they are being decieved, but that does not make them bad people. So in the end yes the mormon church is deceptive, but the average mormon is not. ANd even though some of them may choose to shun me for leaving, I will still defend them. That's why I call myself the friendlyexmo.

Answer 3

And, unfortunately, there are those who join the church, so taht they can leave a minute later and say "I'm an EX-MORMON!" They can then to go any one ignorant of our beliefs, and tell them anything they want, no matter how stupid or sensationalistic, and say "Hey, I was a Mormon, I KNOW!" Even tho they were only Mormon for about five minutes, and joined just so they can leave and call themselves "ex'Mormon".

I wonder who are the deceptive ones?

Oh, and the only ex members who are "shunned" are those who make a horse's patoot of themselves, enough that no Mormon ever wants them around.

Answer 4

Not being active in the church and leaving the church are 2 very different things.

There are 13+ Million current members of the church. I understand that about half of them are fully active. Relative to that number there are very few that have their names removed and are no longer Mormon.

Additionally, there are some who get excommunicated for serious sins like adultery.

Get some reliable data to back up your claim that there are "so many" who have left.

I've lived my whole life as a Mormon and have only met two who are now ex-mormons.

Answer 5

There are 13 million members and 9 million active. So 1/4 of the people who joined left...

But as far as it being deceptive...you have to look at who the person is and why they say it's deceptive. I mean, someone can get offended by another member in the church and never come back...even to a different ward.

You can get someone who didn't get the calling they wanted and left...

You can have someone who never truly believed in the first place and only was in the church because their families were...


As far as the shunning thing, my mom left over 20 years ago but the Mormons still talk to her, they call up here all the time talking to her...and not about the church either.

---------------

Edit: Also, you have to remember that out of the 1/4 people who left...it's not always because they don't like the church. People, in every religion, sometimes just stop coming to church. They're too tired to get up that early, or they don't have enough time to come to church, or a number of many other things.

Answer 6

Define leave. Do you mean quit coming to church or get excommunicated? We are always reaching out to the less actives through home and visiting teaching. They are not 'shunned'. Of course I wouldn't really want to talk to a person who keeps putting down my religion like many of the anit/ex mormons you meet. Although my mom still visits a couple of ladies who are inactive and hate the church.

I'm sure there are some people who shun non LDS but that is not the Mormon community.

Answer 7

Deceptive? Yeah right. People who leave the church have their "reasons"... and they justify their reasons by trying to find things that either aren't even true about the church or they get too caught up listening to anti material. That's my opinion.
Shunned? Actually, every effort is made to bring them back into membership - ask most people, they will tell you it even gets annoying!
There's that saying "You can leave the church but never leave the church alone..." that seems to be true of a lot of people. They have their problems and instead of taking responsibility for whatever, they blame it on the church, the bishop, the members, the gospel not being true or some ridiculous thing... I am not saying that is how everyone is, but I really don't understand people who leave the church then feel a need to "expose" all the "truth" which is usually just a bunch of crap that is half-true or total lies.
Oh well. We will all be judged according to our thoughts, words and deeds... good luck to all.

Answer 8

You are shunned if you don't come back, they harrass you to come back.
The mormon theology is weird, they say that eve is wrong for taking the fruit, but that it opened mankinds eye's and that adam and eve wouls still be in the garden is adam and eve hadn't eaten the fruit, so which is it, a sin or not???
If what Eve did was such a great thing, then why can't women use their spirtual gifts, why do men only get to hear from God???
why is God such a wimp and sends his son to kick his brother's but (satan) instead of using the rod on satan himself, oh but wait it was a good thing what satan did in the garden, but its still a bad thing, again, I am confused.
My patriarticle blessing just told me how bad I was, so I burned it, that was the beginning of the end.
My pior group was so rude to me, granted every church has its clicks this run jsut treated me so bad, I just couldn't take it anymore.
The burning feeling turned out to be a fraud. I found my mom being prejudice when the church claimed not to be ect.

Answer 9

I don't think my religion is deceptive, but it certainly demanding of its members. We don't drink, smoke, etc. and we all are expected to fulfill "callings" or some form of volunteering in our congregation because we have no paid clergy. I can see how it can be overwhelming for some to live the LDS lifestyle.

About the community - I don't know, I've never shunned any friends or siblings that have left the church, but naturally they don't want to hang out with me at say a church activity, and I don't want to hang out with them at a bar, so there's a bit of distance that's created there even when feelings are still completely warm and friendly.

btw- statistically speaking, thousands more are joining than leaving every year.

Answer 10

that is the truth. They say they believe in the bible, but they teach out of the book of mormon. They believe some guy named John Smith found these so called other tablets that were more books of the bible. The bible clearly says not to add to my word, and if anyone comes to you preaching another gospel, let them be accursed.