I tell my kids to choose friends by the clothes they wear.?

Question

Am I right to say this? I am a strong beliver in first apperance and I tell my 9 year old son, and 7 & 5 year old daughters to choose friends by the clothes they wear and their looks. I honestly don't want my kids being around kids that don't wear named brand clothes. I think it's working very well, my kids have pretty looking friends. I don't want them having "unattractive" friends.

Answer 1

That is a bit shallow. I understand where you are coming from but with young children, they don't equate appearance whether good or bad with how another very young child dresses or whether they are attractive.

That kind of thinking is closed mindedness. Not everyone grows up with parents who are able to afford the most expensive clothes. My mother was a single parent and did the best she could with me and my brother. She didn't go on welfare or get any other kind of government assistance. She definitely didn't have the money to buy Tommy Hilfiger clothes. But she always had us properly dressed and you wouldn't be able to tell if we had name brand clothes or not unless you looked at the tags. We turned out to be very decent people as do many others in the same situation.

Later in life, yes it matters how you dress, but definitely not whether you are keeping up with the latest fashion trends. A man can buy a suit from Wal-mart and another can buy one from a tailor. But both men cared about their appearance and will present themselves well on an interview.

You or your children can miss out on the most life enriching people with this kind of thinking. I think you should ask yourself, "Are you, yourself perfect in every way?" Do you think that there is not someone who would see you for the first time and think you are UNattractive? The most beautiful people are very ugly because their personality stinks, they are arrogant or hold their noses up at others.

What about telling them to choose friends based on morals, having a positive attitude, being good stewards and a whole list of other attributes. Would it be ok for your children to be friends with children who are dressed in name brand clothes but don't care about school, obeying adults, abstaining from sex or saying no to drugs.

I think you could teach your children in a better way about how caring, not obsessing, about your appearance is important, while not judging others.

Answer 2

What happened to kids being kids? It is understandable to give your children some pointers within making friends, but I would assume make sure they don't smoke, have sex, do drugs, etc would be more important than the label of their clothes. I do think that we as people should be presentable to the public, but putting in the idea that the only people they should be friends with are the ones wearing the expensive clothes is not exactly the best way to find good people. But you did not say that you wanted good people as friends for your kids, you just wanted the ones that are attractive wearing the right clothes. THere is nothing wrong with the kids dressing well or being attractive, but in my opinion this should not be the sole basis of decision when making friends. But...this is just my opinion.

Answer 3

That is unfortunate because more importantly you should teach them to have respect for others and to treat people based on their merit as a good citizen .

The problem you might run into is that even the kids who dress well pick and choose who will be in their click. Unless you plan on taking a second mortgage out on your house your kids will probably not be able to keep up with the rich kids and their clothing will not pass the test.

Teach them to be kind to other people. There is nothing wrong with wanting your children have hang with kids who appear to be 'going someplace in life'. BUT You start this now and you might have little monsters on your hands who won't respect YOU because they always want more.

Answer 4

This is one extremely warped way of viewing things. How can you be so judgemental? And you're teaching your children this? It doesn't matter what someone looks like or how they dress, it's the person inside that counts. Hasn't anyone ever told that beauty is only skin deep?
Not everybody in this world can afford the name brand clothes, not everyone was lucky enough to be born with physical beauty. You are teaching your children to be materialistic, self-centered and in the end just plain hateful.

Answer 5

Im going to try to say this without being mean. You are the kind of person who makes people like me hate people. That is a terrible thing you are doing to your children, at such a young age when they really listen to you because you;re supposed to be the more intelligent one. I pray to whatever is out there that they will grow up and quickly learn that you cannot judge a book by its cover or people by their clothes. I hope they find someone hideaously disfigured and realize that most of the time those people are the most down to earth and generous people on earth. Karma is a *****, good luck with her because i have a feeling she is going to bite you in the *** very very soon. Take care.

Good Luck to your children

Answer 6

Isn't that rather shallow? People that buy brand-name clothing really waste their money. They are just paying for the brand name and not really quality. Just like your kids are choosing friends in the same way, for looks not for quality of character. You can have a lot more clothing to wear if you buy smarter and your children can have a more diversified group of friends for a more well-rounded childhood experience if they don't limit themselves to just "the pretty."

Answer 7

I think you are very wrong to say this. This is why we have bullying in our schools, this is why kids are so mean because they learn it from their parents. My sons school started uniforms this year and it is working so well. Kids don't have to be JUDGED by the clothes that they wear. I really feel sorry for your children, kids are going to end up not liking them because you are teaching them to be rude!

Answer 8

Very snobbish. Paris Hilton wears the best clothes, and I wouldn't want my children to even meet her.

Why can't your children choose good, honest, hard working people? Instead of 'pretty' people?

Good, solid clothes don't make a person any less of a person.

You are very wrong to say that to anybody!

Answer 9

You are very shallow and your kids are going to be as well.
You should be teaching them that you cannot judge a book by it's cover and that just because someone looks good on the outside does not mean they are a good person on the inside.
Shame on you!

Answer 10

Congratulations for royally messing up your kids beliefs. They will grow up just like you, shunning the kids who do not wear name brand clothing. People like you are the reason why we still have school shootings. Parents too absorbed with appearance to understand that kids are parrots they will start to make fun of the kids who don't look like them and the kids who are made fun of will retaliate. I seriously hope you change your message to your children for the sake of other kids so we do not have more school shootings.