Molester..?

Question

I'm really worried. Okay, I'll try to explain: There's me, and there's my two best friends. Let's just call them E and S.
Since we were 6, me and S were molestered by E's dad. Which E still has no clue about. I'm 13, and recently told my parents, and they told S's mum. But me and S REALLY don't want to tell E's mum about her dad abusing us because her family is so close mine. E is my best friend and I would hate to hurt her by telling her about her dad. And I would hate to hurt the rest of the family. But then, she could be getting abused by her dad, because she absolutely hates her dad. So my parents want to tell. I've asked E why she hates her dad, and she said she doesn't know, it's just everything he does. But she's also said she wouldn't like it if he died, whereas, after being molestered by him, me and S wouldn't mind if he died (I know it sounds SO horrible, but I feel that way, I suppose it's different since it's E's dad tho) ...(2 b continued)

So since E wouldn't like it if her dad died, does that mean she hasn't been abused by him, she just doesn't like him? or is it the fact that he's her dad.

Also, E said exactly this: "Like, I hate him, but like, I think I would be kind of upset if he died, you know? Like, recently he hasn't been as bad"
And it occured to me, that it was at that time that he had been abusing me and S so much, maybe he had been leaving E alone. Please help, like, I know you're all gonna say 'Do what's right. You have to make sure that E and that nobody else is in danger' but I know that, I just need help and advice to cope and to get over all this and not to get so stressed. So much has been happening recently, and I just find it so hard to cope.

Answer 1

well Sweetie let me start by telling yo i am sorry! The same thing happened to me when i was little and i had to learn to talk to someone. I am so proud of you for telling your parents, but honey if your parents want to tell E's family they really should. Molestation is VERY wrong. See not only has E's dad hurt you, he hurt your mom and dad by messing with their baby, and he hurt S and S' family. He has done wrong and something must be done. i know you are close to E and maybe even her mom, but if they are your true friends they will still love you even after they find out the truth. they may be mad but believe me having them know the truth is worth it all. i thought a lot of people would hate me for it but you know in the end i gained more friends than ever. Honey i don't know you but i have had the exact thing happen to me. I love you and feel free to IM me or email me and let me know i am here for you!!!! [e-mail]! Jessica

Answer 2

Sweetheart,
This is so horrible. You should never have had to go through such a thing.
I command you for being so brave and eventually tell your parents about it.
The chances are that your friend is being abused as well.
It's not your fault that E's dad is what he is, and neither is it her fault.
You do need to tell, to get help and for him to get help too.
What he is doing is so wrong; Everybody knows that molesting a child or an adult or any vulnerable person is punishable by the law.
People don't get killed any more for doing those horrible things.
In the states, you only face death penalty in some states, and it's for murdering someone.
In Europe you don't. So, he will be punished, and even most probably received help for his illness, but first the pain he is causing has to stop.
You are so brave. hugs.xxxxxxxxxxx

Answer 3

First, if he has been doing this to you and "S" then he probably is also doing this to "E". Even though "E" may be being abused as well it is still her dad and no matter what there will always be some part of her that will want to protect him. Just because she doesn't want him to die does not mean that he has never done anything to her. As for yourself and "S" the two of you really need some counseling. It may be scary at first, but you need a safe place to talk this out. And your not bad for not caring if this man would die. Hope that helped some.

Answer 4

E's dad needs to meet "bubba" in the county hotel. See how he'd like the same treatment. actually the "man" need psych. help.These adults keeping this info silent from the authorities is criminal. It makes me throw-up in my mouth reading that for selfish reasons the adults don't want to share this info with the police. why do I feel so strongly about this subject? A person very close to me was molested in her youth mentally and physically. Her own mother knew. Did nothing for many of the same reasons you mentioned.The fams were close and she didn't want to ruin that, what a load of you know what. This person has struggled her whole life with mental illness . Pills, doctors, hospitals, mental wards,councilors,time and ,h yeah,$$$$$$$$$$$$. Medical field loves it. NOT TO STRAY FROM THE REAL ISSUE, but I am stressing about you and many other young people in that situation. NOTE TO S's MOM; WHAT ARE YOU GOOFY? DO THE RIGHT THING, immediately.God bless you and you family.

Answer 5

Honey, there is nothing more that childmolesters like than keeping secrets and by keeping this a secret from your friend that means that he has control. You need to tell some responsible adults if parents already know and not doing anything than you need to talk to teacher, . principal or someone else that you know that can take some sort of action do it ASAP This is more than you and friends should have to deal with but by asking for help means that you are wanting to do the right thing Good luck

Answer 6

Molesters in Texas are now being executed which is to good for them in my opinion hon I am sorry you are having to go through this but yes the best thing to do is talk to your friend both of you should talk to her at the same time. Chances are that he has been or has in the past molested her as well and she doesn't know what to do to stop it. She may be affraid like you are that something will happen to him and she may also be affraid her mom will blame her for it happening. Most children who are molested never tell because they are affraid and don't know who to trust. I hope that you will talk to a counselor at school with your friends and report the abuse so it can be stopped before it causes any more damage to your youth. You are to young to have this much stress in your lives. You should be worrying about which boy you like etc... Once you told your parents they should have taken over even if it hurts your friend it is better to know than to have him keep abusing her if he is. 7yrs is too long and being so young and having it go on for so long can sometimes make it to where the abused child actually thinks it is normal for dads to do this. Your parents should get your friend and mother to your house with E's mom and E as well and talk about it. You may find out that both mom and E knew and didn't know how to stop it from happening. E may have feeling of wishing her dad was dead as you and S do which is completely normal after what you have been through I don't feel you are wrong at all for wishing this. I am 42 and when I was 13 my parents went out of town and I was molested by my cousin who was in his 20's. I never told my parents but I told him many years later when he found out where I was that I had known where he worked and had thought about looking him up. He said oh really well was you going to bring a friend? I said yes and he asked the name I said Smith and Wesson. He was shocked and I confronted him. I was in my 20's and it only happened 1 time but it still hurt me. You need to get some help to work through all the things you are feeling and yes I felt anger, hatered, sometimes I felt it was my fault and I never had anyone to tell until after he found me as an adult when I broke down. I had blocked it out for all those years. I finally talked to friends and other family about it and I felt alot better. Like I said I am now 42 and yes I still have those days when my husband touches me a certain way and I flinch because it brings it back. I really suggest that you talk to your parents and they get you someone to talk to. If you can't then talk to someone from the web site I posted here. It is confidential and they can give you numbers to call in your area. Especially STOP IT NOW at 1-888-PREVENT Help for Sexual Abusers or ... If You Think You Know Someone Who Is Being Sexually Abused

Answer 7

To be only 13 you are very mature! You have already figured out the way things really are.
E's dad has been molesting her too...she hates him for what he has done to her ..but since he is her father she doesn't want him dead.
Her pain reflects her feelings.
You and your parents "Must" stop this molester!
Be sure to know that you and your friends are not the "only" ones he has molested.
Do it today..before another life of a child is ruined.
What your other friends' parents do is also important...both of the parents and you and your friend must go together and take care of this matter as quickly as possible.
Remember..you are a child until 18...you are "NOT" responsible for what this "adult" did to either one of you!
Please report this....NOW.
May God be with you through your healing of this terrible event.....God bless...please keep us informed....I care.

Answer 8

Molestation is a crime .... report it . I'm suprised your parents haven't reported it yet. In some states being a "Victim" can entitle you to certain benefits ... (like counsiling) .... The real deal is to get the help to you and your friend before the damage or exposure to this person gets worse ......

And if your friend is being abused / molested she needs help she dosen't even know she needs........ The fall out from not getting help (emotional & counsiling) will not become evident for years to come.

Good Luck, Be Smart, Be Safe !

Answer 9

This man is a serial molester. These types of people don't stop. They continue until they get caught. They sometimes escalate their sick fantasies into more violent behavior. You need to put aside your worries about the immediate consequances for your friendship, and be concerned for the many children out there who are at risk every day he walks free.

Answer 10

Likely she too has been molested. She may not like what he's done but because he is the dad, she is emotionally attached to him even though he may have done things that were wrong. Very complicated situation. Likely she needs counseling and I personally think you do also.