I have a nervous problem and I self harm. I also go into these rages sometimes when I'm arguing with my boyfriend and I'm ashamed to say I have slapped and scratched him. Anyway, when this happens and when my boyfriend sees me self harm, he slaps me back and holds me on the floor really tight to restrain me. I'm getting help but should he really hit me back? Is this right, and should he get help too? I'm so depressed about this situation
2007-10-27 02:47:40 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
I think that while being hit by a man is not appropriate and is very scary, I don't think he's doing it in an aggressive violent way. He's both reacting to you (as someone earlier said I think that when you get hit it's a natural reaction to strike back) and trying to restrain you.
I think he is genuinely trying to help you, and if you are aggressive towards him or towards yourself, he thinks that the only thing he can do is to restrain you until you calm down.
If he didn't care about you, he wouldn't be here trying to intervene. Please try to stop hitting him for starters. If you can't stop yourself from lashing out, try to confine yourself to objects (I'm famous for throwing the clothes horse across the room). Get yourself a punching bag and please, get rid of whatever implement you use to self harm. It is not going to help you.
Your boyfriend may have his own issues to deal with, but at the moment, I don't think you should focus on them. You need to focus on yourself, let him focus on his problems. But both of you need to remember why you're together, think about the positive things about each other. Because if you're starting to forget them then you're better off without each other. I'm definitely not telling you to break up with him, but you both need to try to be supportive to each other. If you can't then you are only making your own problems more difficult to deal with.
2007-10-28 02:29:55 · answer #1 · answered by Velouria 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, there are two problems here arn't there. Your relationship and your self harm.
If you slap your boyfriend then some could say that in the contect of your relationship dont complain if you get it back BUT I was brought up NEVER to strike a woman so thats that.
Im more concerned with your self harm. You obviously have a lot of anger and frustration inside of you and you need to get help to root that out.
You need to see your doctor or go to a qualified independant councellor to get this sorted.
From my experience, young people who self harm more often than not go on to develop clinical depression or bipolar disorder so we need to get this sorted ok.
Self harm is a symptom of a potentially serious underlying psychiatric condition so it need proper medical investigation.
It's far too much of a complicated subject to discuss in detail here and I would not insult you by doing so, but feel free to contact me if you want to talk and explore your feelings more.
2007-10-27 06:19:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Self control sounds like a good idea to me. And you are the only one that can do that. Redirect yourself when you think this is going to happen. Taking responsibility for yourself in life is ABSOLUTELY REQUIRED.
Someday you will hit the wrong person and get arrested for assault.
You might have your thyroid tested for low activity. An under active thyroid causes depression.
2007-10-27 02:57:37 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
letv me tell you NO HELL NO he should most definatly not hit you back no matter what you do to him he is a man you are a woman, that is domestic abuse, think what else he does because domestica bause is serious i was a victim untill 2 yrs ago and i was left for dead i too was self harming ( i havent hurt myself now in 9 mi
onths )and having violent mood swings ( i am diagnosed as personality disorder, schizophrenic and have depression) although i never hurt my ex ( but i have hurt previous partners) he used to hit me and abuse me in other ways like rape, mental abuse taking me away from my family and abusing my daughter which i did not know about untill too late. my suggestion is too leave him and see a psychiatrist they wont lock you up i promise i have one now and it helps at times expecially my cpn. good luck my dear you can do it you know.
2007-10-28 00:43:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-14 04:51:43 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think he is trying to help you if you are pinned to the floor you cant hurt yourself i think that's what i would do if i saw someone i love trying to hurt there self
Good luck with the help you are getting hope you get better soon
2007-10-27 02:58:49 · answer #6 · answered by rach 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends. If he hits you back in anger, then maybe he should seek help. If he trying to stop you from hurting him and stop you from going crazy, maybe he has good intentions and doesn't want to really hurt you, then probably not.
2007-10-27 02:53:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your b/f is trying to distract you from the scratching and is actually trying to help you honey==you should go and talk with your Dr. about this =sometimes a medication can help ease your frustration =good luck
2007-10-27 02:54:31 · answer #8 · answered by caffsans 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
please see your gp and find a good counsellor.I dont know what kind of a relationship you have but talking is a better release than cutting.You should put getting better before your relationship for the time being
2007-10-27 03:05:59 · answer #9 · answered by eve4375 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could be slapping you back in the hopes to snap you out of it? But if my husband smacked me I would probably smack him back too.
2007-10-27 02:53:22 · answer #10 · answered by mrsmopar2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋