My fiance does not have health insurance with his current job. At this time I have health insurance and if we got married I could cover him on mine. He's coming down with strep throat and has a tooth that needs pulled. He also has some back problems that require care. We were thinking of having a "shotgun" wedding soon so that he can have health coverage, but we cannot afford to have the reception now. The problem is - I already bought my "non returnable" wedding dress. Would it be tacky to have the wedding now and wear the dress to the reception in May?
2007-10-26 03:37:26 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Thank you for all of your answers. And to Shauna down below - thanks so much for pointing out the fact that we may not have a lot of money. And also - thank you for saying that we would be "throwing money down the drain" having a reception to celebrate our wedding. We're not getting married just to get him health insurance - I don't know many people who can just "afford" back surgery, hundreds of dollars on dental care, etc. Also, most people don't have thousands of dollars laying around to throw a reception. Some do, a lot don't. This question was asking for opinions on wearing a dress - it wasn't here for you to insult my financial situation. And for your information I'm 29 years old, I have a good job. Take out a mortgage, 3 children to support, a car, and life's general expenses and there's not a lot to play with. Apparently you live a more charmed life where money must come easy!
2007-10-27 03:48:45 · update #1
How is that tacky? There is nothing wrong with that at all.
You got to love how health care 'works' in this country. You'd think we could devise a better system in the richest country in the world.
2007-10-26 03:41:08 · answer #1 · answered by ZCT 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
If you were going to get married in the courthouse now...and then have a big fake wedding in 6 months, I would say "Yes, that is tacky, don't do it". You only get married once...Your marriage in the courthouse is the only wedding you get.
However, you are not doing that...you are asking about wearing the dress to the reception 6 months later. As long as you are just having a reception, I see no problem with wearing your dress to it.
Have someone take pictures at the courthouse....so they can be displayed at your wedding reception. At the reception, you two can re-read the vows you exchanged in the courthouse, so your family and friends can hear the vows. This will not require an officient, since you are already legally married...and of course you will not be exchanging rings or having bridesmaids or any of the pomp and circumstance. It will just be like a speech to each other.
Have some tasty food, a few fun drinks, maybe some music. Enjoy the opportunity to wear that wedding gown as you throw a party to celebrate your marriage.
~Kat
2007-10-26 11:43:23 · answer #2 · answered by Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me and my live in boyfriend are having the same issues right now. I am going to start receiving my insurance through my work and his insurance is not really that good but he has a pintched nerve in his neck, plus his wisdom teeth are really bothering him. We entertained the idea of just getting married in the courthouse and having a ceremony down the road, but I've always dreamed of my wedding day and me being all dressed up and can't go through with it.
I think it would be sorta tacky to wear the dress to the reception because you would have already been married 6 months and wearing a wedding dress..?? I dunno just sounds weird..Knew a girl that had went away to Flordia and got married and came back and had the reception 2 months later and wore her dress..just wasn't the same?...See if you can sell the dress on E-bay.
2007-10-26 10:51:15 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A shotgun wedding is only if you are pregnant and get married right away. You are just talking about having a courthouse ceremony.
It would only be appropriate to rewear the wedding dress if the reception were within a month. How about just having this one wedding ceremony, with a bit of a get together with family and close friends afterward.
2007-10-26 12:48:10 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No. Even though you will already be married legally by the time of the reception, you should have some sort of ceremony and exchanging of vows for the guests.
Unless you have already told people your plan, no one will even know the difference.
Just because you are having a shot gun wedding does not mean you don't deserve to have a special wedding day. What is important is that the two of you were going to get married regardless of the health care issue.
Go ahead and have your wedding the way you want it to be, even if it is months after the legal part of it actually takes place.
2007-10-26 11:27:29 · answer #5 · answered by Somebody's Sister 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Why don't you have the "tacky" courthouse marriage now and then have another ceremony and reception later on when you have the money. There is nothing wrong with having your ceremony again, the way you want to with your beautiful white dress. As a matter of fact, no one needs to even know that you two plan to get married before the actual reception. Just keep it between the two of you that you are going to the courthouse early and plan the wedding of your dreams.
2007-10-26 11:28:54 · answer #6 · answered by Paula Christine 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I think it would be OK, especially if you open the reception with a small ceremony that would be similar to a wedding ceremony. If you have a pastor or trusted friend who would be willing to "officiate" as you share with your friends and family the vows you made to each other.
Unless your dress is super fancy, with a long train and everything, designed to be worn in a big cathedral. In that case, you might see if you could find a seamstress who could alter it a bit for you so it wouldn't be quite so overwhelming for the venue.
Good luck to both of you.
Take care of the strep throat now. It will only get worse, and you don't want him to feel bad (or be contagious) on your wedding night do you?
2007-10-26 10:52:53 · answer #7 · answered by Elissa 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
well, you are already making major life decisions based on your finances (or lack thereof). you are getting married now to afford your bf's medical bills. that says to me that you two aren't financially stable. so, given that info, why would you PLAN to throw more money down the drain on a celebration for a 6-month old marriage? instead, why not use the money for savings or towards a house? or, use it to celebrate your 1st wedding anniversary and take a vacation together.
the fact that you already bought the dress doesn't mean that it is wise to throw more money down the drain. try to sell the dress on ebay or at a local consignment shop. you won't get all the money back, but you will come out ahead. you can even wear it to the courthouse and then put it on ebay.
2007-10-26 18:26:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Not one bit, my fiance and I have been flirting with the same idea. Its your marriage, and your reception wear what you want. Hell wear some sexy white lingerie its your day!! You could even just have another wedding, like to renew your vows in front of friends and family. Then you can have your cake and eat it too...in your wedding dress! Have fun!
2007-10-26 11:23:16 · answer #9 · answered by bella_babe_86 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Go ahead,
The fact that the healtcare system in this country is jacked up is not your fault.
I say do it. Your hunny needs to be taken care of.
Good luck and congratulations
2007-10-26 10:52:36 · answer #10 · answered by Blunt 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋