Should I have sex with my AIDS infected boyfriend?

Question

Now I know this totally sounds stupid it is entirely my decision. I am torn we have never had sex at all not even oral he told me a while ago he has AIDS. We are engaged to be married I love him with all my heart. I understand we can't have kids or possibly even a sexual relationship but agian I love him. Is it possible to have safe sex maybe using multiple condoms spermicide? or is obstaining from sex all together the best possible answer? PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME OR MY PARTNER I AM ONLY LOOKING FOR ADVICE.

I see I am getting the question if he has HIV or AIDS he has full blown AIDS he told me during our "dating phase". I know in reality we will not spend the rest of our lives together as he will pass away before me. I Love this man so much and I know sex is not the only thing that matters in a relaltionship but let's be honest it plays a major role.

He is not bi-sexual he contracted AIDS through being molested.

I am sure he is not gay. However how sure are you that any man is not gay it's a matter of trust. I believe him based on his past, I can only give so much information on those issues. I do want to say you all give valid points thank you.

Answer 1

That's a tough one...The only way to be absolutely sure and not be infected is to abstain. Even the most cautious measures could have unforeseen problems. Then again if you are willing to take the risk I would research the best methods. I'm sure there are other people in your position. Perhaps there is a support group or something you could look for. Maybe you and he could see your Gynecologist and consult him/her. I wouldn't make any decisions until you're 100% sure you're either willing to take the risk or not. If you do have sex with your partner and you're not to that point you may have feelings of regret or doubt. Not only that but how enjoyable will (before, during and after) it be if you are worried about getting sick? On the flipside if you decide not to have sex you may also have feelings of regret. My best advice to you, from one women to another, is to take the time and learn as much as you can about risks, methods, forms of protection and everything else that may help you decide. Again speak to your doctor or his, they probably have a better grip on what the statistics and risk factors are then the general public. My best to you and your fiance and I hope all works out no matter what you choose.

Answer 2

When condoms are used correctly and consistently, they reduce your chances of transmitting AIDS by more than 98%. It is possible to go years, and even forever, having protected sex with your partner, and NOT get AIDS.

However, the chance will always be there.

Also, DO NOT USE MORE THAN ONE CONDOM AT ONCE, OR SPERMICIDE.

Using more than one condom at a time causes friction as the layers of latex rub together, and may break both condoms.

Using spermicide does kill SOME of the AIDS virus germs, but it also causes irritation sores inside the vagina, which can actually INCREASE your chances of catching AIDS, since the germ will have a direct line into your body through the sore.

Answer 3

It sounds like you have already made up your mind about having sex with this man, seeing as how you intend to spend the rest of your lives together. However, did he tell you about the AIDS AFTER you got engaged? Just curious; if he did, i wonder if he gulled you into falling in love with him knowing that he had this disease. But if you choose to marry him, I think you should talk to a health professional about the precautions you should take before having sex with your fiance. A few things to consider however:

Do not use two or more condoms at once. From what I hear, they can break easier.

Use a dental dam, if he gives you oral.

Do not do any deep kissing, particularly if you have any dental problems such as gingivitis, cavities, dental work, open sores in your mouth...even the occasional gum bleeding leaves you susceptible to contracting the virus orally.

Really analyse if you love this man enough to risk your own life. As much as you love him (and pardon me for sounding cruel), he will probably be dead before you and you have a life to live after him. Are you willing to risk your life and health for this person? What if you catch the virus and you two break up? What then? Just know what you are getting into. Good luck. I wish you all the best.

Answer 4

Rather than ask online, I think you should go to a local AIDS clinic and ask about safer sex practices. There are lots of things you can do like mutual masturbation, that are much safer. However, you don't mention how he got HIV/AIDS. Is he bisexual? Or a drug user? Has he quit drugs? If he says he's bisexual, are you sure he's not gay? That could be why he's satisfied without a sex life. If you do have sex, I would wait until you're actually married. A lot of engagements get broken, and then you would have exposed yourself to risk with someone who wasn't really willing to marry you. I know you love him and all that, but I really think you should go for counseling to see if you really know everything there is to know. A local AIDS clinic should really help you.

Answer 5

Okay, first, does he have AIDS or is he HIV positive? These are two different things. Second, it isn't a stupid question. I see couples dealing with this situation quite often. Here's the deal. Yes, you can have sex, but you have to "always" put a barrier between him and your mucous membranes. Vaginal, anal and oral. HIV is transferred via blood and seminal secretions. So, if you give him head, he has to wear a condom the entire time. Pre-seminal fluid can transfer the virus also. Kissing isn't too risky because saliva doesn't transfer HIV well, but no kissing little willy without his raincoat.
Remember, if you are in love you can work through anything. I wish you both luck

Answer 6

oh girl do i ever feel for you!! If i was in the same position as you, I would have a sexual realtionship with him. many people living with aids have a SAFE sex life. I would use multiple condoms, like a male condom and a female condom, but you should talk to a doctor, maybe his doctor about it, just so you know all the pros and cons. But if my bf told me he had AIDS, I would have safe sex with him, i would not give or get oral without a condom either.

Answer 7

Having sex is a risk but using a condom is the best to minimize the risk if you are going to have sex. You can have oral sex without problem, it's not passed through saliva. If I was planning on marrying him and being with him for the rest of my life, I would have sex and I probably would speak to a doctor about invetro in order to concieve his child without passing AIDS.

Answer 8

Well I believe that you can have kids if he where to take the proper meds you all need to ask a doctor. Also I think that in order to keep yourself safe if you love him marry him trust in God, and of course use protection, and I believe if you trust in God he will keep you safe from contracting the virus especially if you are his wife.. It's nice to know you are very devoted to him hes very lucky to have some one like you!!!

Answer 9

confident you are able to. some people could nicely be born with STD's additionally some STD's are actually not basically transmitted by utilising sexual touch. HIV working example could nicely be transmitted with the aid of sharing needles or exposure to contaminated blood getting on mucous membranes or open cuts. some people are additionally born with HIV or different STD's from a contaminated verify.

Answer 10

I understand you love him and that is wonderful but AIDS isnt curable and do you really want to die from it? because if that condom busts youll be infected. If you choose to have sex with him dont use multiple condoms because they will rub against eachother and create a hole. I honestly wouldnt have sex with him, i love myself more than anyone else and i wouldnt risk getting something that will kill me because i love them. I am not judging you but really ask yourself would you be ok with dying because end stages of AIDS really suck and by the time you are about to die you are praying it comes on faster.