How can I comfort my husband before open heart surgery?

Question

My husband is soon to have open heart surgery for 3 blocked coronary vessels and while I know that others have this and survive , I worry for him and find myself crying thinking I might lose him. We've been together for 33 years and have 3 children. I want to be positive that he will be ok, but he is a diabetic(poorly controlled on insulin) he is 55, and has high BP (controled with medication), and has 26% kidney function. Seeing him scared knowing he does'nt have a choice except to get the surg. is tearing me up.I want to be able to ease his fears, but don't know what to say. He thinks he will die or come out of the surg. on a dialysis machine.How do I prepare my kids 12, 13, and 20 ,we are all just scared and no one to talk to that has been through this. I try not to think of myself, and I need to be strong for him but this is really the worst thing we've ever faced. He never had any idea his heart was bad, the Dr.s found this out while he was in hosp. to get his foot ulcer rep.

Answer 1

I really don't know what to tell you other than, my mother was 67 when she had her CABG (coronary artery bypass graft), and she made it another 9 years afterward. It was a rough go in the hospital, because she was a poorly controlled diabetic (and former smoker). It was a longer than usual recovery, but with some help from Above, she was back home in a week.

Just do what you're doing and be supportive. In alcohol recovery, we had a saying... "fake it until you make it". The purpose of that is to walk the walk and talk the talk even if you don't believe you're going to make it through the ordeal. Just the act of faking it will help make you believe you're going to be fine. Same applies to him. Belief is a very real thing. It can mean the difference between living and eternity.

Be confident... there's no other way to be. Worrying accomplishes nothing, so do your best to be as strong as possible and let God do the rest.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

My husband had a triple bypass ten years ago.
Let him talk that will give him a way to get rid of the stress he is feeling right now. There is no real way to prepare you. It will all be different. There is a lot of fear but it gets better after a few days and then after a couple of years you will adjust to the fact that life is just this way now. Let his fear work for him. It will help him make life style changes that will be necessary.
Now as to you. You really need to think about your self when the surgery is over. You will be spening alot of time with your husband over the month after the surgery. As much as is possible take a few minutes a day for your self. Even if it is just a hot bath for a half an hour a day. Pray alot, breath alot, and get as much exercies as you can.
What you tell your kids is the truth. Dad is having heart surgery and you dont really know what to expect but that you will all learn together how to handle it. Kids do not need to know the fact that their Dad is so stressed out over this. Encourage them to stay calm and talk to you.
Unfortunatly, you will bear the brunt of the stress in this situation. That cannt be helped at this point. Just hang in there and pray.

Answer 4

ADD ON If he is allergic to anything go with him and tell them at the or. I had a friend that was allergic to benadril (msp) and it was all over his charts and supposedly the nurse asked him if he was allergic to it and he told oh no pump me full of it.



Go to SWRC.com, 700CLUB.com, JSM.org. Call 918-495-7777, that's Oral Robert's prayer number. It never hurts to contact these folks and they will put you on a prayer list and folks will pray for your husband, you and your family. if you don't think he will mind call them and he can talk with them.

Many friends had the operation and fit as fiddle, last one a simple deal as it's been done so much.

Also on diabetic field Israel is developing an oral pill instead of shots and will not become insulin dependent. www.Isreal21c.com or Levitt.com October Levitt letter page 29. Call em and don't worry. Not sure when his op is but jsm.org has a 2,500 page, Expository Study Bible for about $30 (reg. 125) and it hits on just about every verse, good reading. Take care. Much success. It's like a walk in the park. Most i know had it done 25-30 years ago and still enjoying life.

Answer 5

I am so sorry you're all going through this. The hospital DOES have people you all can talk to. Believe me, every family that goes through cardiac surgery feels EXACTLY the way you and your husband (and kids) feel. You and your husband HAVE to also talk to the doctors---the surgeon, his renal doctor, general practitioner---all of them. You need to get the truth from them about his prognosis. Ask them--what are his chances of coming out of surgery? And then what? What are his chances of full recovery, etc. And that's where the hospital counselors come in. They can be with you when you talk to the doctors and they can be with you while he's in surgery, recovery, etc.
You can go online and look at the hospital's website. The counseling office information should be on there. If you don't see it, then call hospital information---they will give you their number.
I'll say a pray for you all. Best wishes!

Answer 6

hi... my dad just had one last middle of september this year... he is 79 years old and he had a quadruple bypass. i give him insulin shots everyday, i monitor his blood sugar twice a day, his blood pressure is not that impressive either, and he had another surgical procedure (prostate) last wednesday, October 17, 2007. how he is back on his feet, he has regained weight, he could walk by himself, he eats well (though controlled) he is practically in good health (according to his doctors (or else he wouldnat have been given the clearance to undergo the prostate thing...)

just assure your husband that everything will be okay... I told my dad that the procedure is kind of delicate but it has to be done. he needs to have a positive outlook. he needs to look at the brighter side. according to one advertisement: what the mind can conceive, the body can achieve.

there can be some post operative problems, but if the patient has the strong will to overcome anything, he will survive and have a longer lease on life. my dad had problems, but we were all there to help me through the problems.

the immediate family, his friends, other relatives play a very vital role in the fast recovery of your husband... that will greatly account for his psychological hardiness.

a friend of my dad had a bypass when he was 80 years old. now that friends is 84 and still going strong...

and please pray for him, pray with him as i will be praying for you even if i do not know you... God Bless you and your family...

Answer 7

My dad was one of the few that did not make it.He had diabetes and was a smoker.They did the surgery but ran into a calcified artery and had to close up,then the surgeon said they would try a angioplasy on that remaining clogged artery,but dad got pneumonia,and was on a respirator,and i won't go into details.Let me just say my dad would have been 70 tomorrow,so being that your husband is only 55 may just be a great thing in your/his case.

Answer 8

Im so sorry for the pain you all are in. Pray to god that he will take care of your husband. If it is his time god will call him up if not than he still has things on earth to do. Tell him that god will be with him through the whole thing and that everything will be fine and just assure him that your everything to him and will be waiting for him when he is done. Dont focus on him possibly passing away. Focus on what your going to do after the surgery to help keep his heart healthy. Take his mind of the possiblities that he might not make it. Dont mention it keep his thoughts on happy things keep him around his family and loved ones as much as possible. I will pray for you all!! god bless!!