They think I'm changing, and...idk. I go to a private school, so there isn't very many people in my class. I dont want to lose my friends, but I also hate the way they treat me now. Help?
2007-10-16 15:06:43 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Food & Drink ➔ Vegetarian & Vegan
I'm sorry you are going through a rough patch. Give them some time to get used to your change at to get over it. Sometimes people don't know how to handle when their friends are different than them.
Also, there are a lot of stereotypes that come with being a vegetarian... Just look, all the meat eaters who don't even know you automatically throw out the word "preachy" and assume your sadness was your fault just because of some stereotype they saw on TV. And well, as for the scuba guy, lord only knows what his problem could be... beat up by a vegetarian maybe?
Don't let those things get you down. Unfortunately, part of making a moral decision for yourself is that those around you will feel as though you are saying they are immoral, even though you are not saying that.
I was treated by some the way you are being treated now. I eventually made it known (to those who were down right mean) that I would not take it. However, for some people, they simply haven't been around a vegetarian before and they don't know how to act. It seems silly, but it can be odd for some people.
I have a friend who felt the need to tell me everything about his animal eating all the time. I generally give people time (maybe a month) to get it all out of their system. Then I laugh about it and say it is time to move on. Being vegetarian isn't all there is to who I am so I tell them there is no need to focus on that difference.
And no, there is no need to hide any aspect of who you are and the decisions you make. Some people act as though people who are different should go out of the way to hide there differences. They then like to blame the victim of meanness, saying that s/he deserves the mean treatment for being open about choices. This should never be the case. While there is no need to go around doing the Happy Vegetarian Dance all day long, you have every right to be open about why you are not going to eat the fish sticks offered in the cafeteria when someone asks about it.
Good luck. If you start to get too sad, maybe you could find some vegetarian groups near you. It sometimes helps to find people who have made the same choices so you don't have to feel so alone.
:)
2007-10-17 01:34:02 · answer #1 · answered by Squirtle 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want "friends" who can't treat you like real friends should because of a compassionate decision you made? Also, think about how you're treating them. Have YOU changed? A lot of newbie vegetarians/vegans are incredibly gung-ho about their new decisions and many of them can alienate their friends and family with their preaching. If you can honestly say that you have not been treating them differently then I think it's time for you to get new friends.
2007-10-16 22:13:55 · answer #2 · answered by Jessica 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
True friends will respect any decisions you make. This does not affect their lifestyle and you need to do what is important to you. There are lots of great groups out there for vegetarians and vegans who are like minded incase you grow apart from your current school friends.
2007-10-16 22:49:16 · answer #3 · answered by bunnygurl 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Look I know thiz happenz When u dont have any friendz u look for a friend like ths Good friends are amazing. They'll be there for you no matter what, they believe in you and bring out the best in you. So, it should be easy to tell if someone is being a good friend or not, shouldn't it?
As with any relationship, when issues start to emerge, sometimes it can be confusing as to whether the problem is with you or with the other person. Are you being a good friend to them? Are they being a good friend to you?
When you read this list, not only think about your current friends, ask yourself if you're being a good friend to them:
"Are You My Friend?
1. You give me time
2. You listen to me - and you listen without making me feel judged
3. You're quick to remind me that I have strengths
4. You help me heal when I'm hurting
5. You tell me the truth when it will help me; you don't tell me the truth when it won't help me
6. You show me by your demeanor, tone, and smile that it's important to you that I feel secure, comfortable, at ease
7. You show me that you're sorry when you hurt my feelings; you allow me to show you that I'm sorry when I hurt your feelings
8. You don't abuse me. EVER. You make sure that I know you seek to protect me.
9. You make small surprises for me
10. You find words that support the best that is in me
11. You let me cry when I need to
12. You encourage me to tell the truth to you and to admit when I'm afraid
Yes, you are my friend. And, I need you."
Why This Is Important
How many of your friends would pass if you applied the above list to them? Did you pass? The people who can pass this list are truly special.
By using the above list, it'll make it easier to know if you're dealing with someone who truly does meet the criteria of a good friend or whether they're more of an "acquaintance". It'll also help you to know how much to trust them.
With the truly good friends in your life, it's easy to sometimes take them for granted. You know they'll be there for you and you don't have to worry about working so hard at maintaining the friendship. The danger can be in that you spend more time on those friends that do require work and you end up forgetting about those special friends until it's too late and they're gone.
If you have a friend that meets this criteria, take the time today to let them know how much you appreciate them and all that they do for you. They are what make life truly magical. Don't wait another day to tell them how grateful you are for having them in your life.
2007-10-17 14:48:03 · answer #4 · answered by janet 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why does it matter? I've been vegetarian for years and most of my friends haven't even noticed. When we go out to eat I just pick a vegetarian dish. It's not like anyone is going to be like "hey, how come you're not ordering something with meat?" Just don't talk about it, and no one will notice or care.
2007-10-17 05:43:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just make sure you don't say anything about the way they eat, then they're less likely to care about how you eat, it's really a small detail, you don't need to eat the same foods to be friends. My friends and I just don't really talk about it. one of my friends even decided to go veg after i did, and another said she wasn't going to have certain meats, w/out me even asking her. as long as your not walking around advertising by telling other people that they're wrong or anything like that they should learn to except it.
2007-10-17 09:16:35 · answer #6 · answered by Melissa 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I find people who push their beliefs on others have this type of problem a lot.
If this isn't you, and you're just doing your own thing, don't worry about it. If they can't accept your choice to not eat meat, that's their problem. Just be yourself and stay true to what you believe.
2007-10-17 12:49:56 · answer #7 · answered by Amy M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have lost a lot of friends...at the time...i thought they were the best...but i met new people. i think u shud stick to what you are doing and u will find people who will like u for who u truly are. its also not a big change. tehy shdu handle and support u
2007-10-16 22:14:51 · answer #8 · answered by dreamer 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just because of eating/ not eating meat? Try telling them this is really silly. There are plenty of other things you can do together except eating a hot dog.
2007-10-17 03:47:29 · answer #9 · answered by Analyst 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You and your friends are growing apart because of what you eat?? Hmmm, we're not getting the whole story one way or another.
How do they treat you? It's got to be more than "you're changing".
The other answerers shouldn't be so willing to dump your friends for you without knowing more about the situation.
2007-10-16 23:35:15 · answer #10 · answered by Love #me#, Hate #me# 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋