Ladies: How can I make myself better looking physically?

Question

I suffer from SEVERE depression, which I am currently being treated for. I've made huge strides in recognizing I am a worthwhile person, but I'm pretty sure I'm ugly.

People tell me I'm not, but I know I am. I'm scrawny (which women say they don't like), I'm short, and I have ugly-colored hair. I think I'm funny and a good person to know, but I lack sexiness, whatever makes a woman think of you as a hottie instead of a friend. I can even get women somewhat, but I want to be attractive physically, and I don't think wanting to be mildly hot is too much to ask. And women are nice and say it doesn't matter, but all the women I know in real life agree physical attraction (like a nice body and hair) make a guy a lot sexier.

I feel like trying to fix myself by dying my hair and working out (maybe taking some steroids), but not all that I hate about myself can be fixed. I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice?

Answer 1

I used to feel the same way. I felt like my personality was great, my looks were decent... but I didn't feel SEXY. A couple of things I did that really helped might work for you. First of all, instead of focusing on what my body looked like, I focused on what it could do. I started dancing, working out, and found it miraculous that my body could run a mile, bench press 25 pounds (hey, I'm a woman), etc.
Another thing (and this is kind of touchy and taboo) is to get in touch with your sexual side. That doesn't mean you become a pervert and surround yourself with sex. It just means that everyone has a side to them that is sexual--the whore waiting to escape, if you will. I was ashamed of my looks because deep down, I was ashamed of my body. I was ashamed of the power I had, the sexual power. So I began to get in touch with that side.
Now, that doesn't mean I slept with a bunch of people. In fact, I remained a virgin until long after this phase. I read a lot, I listened to a lot of sexy music in my room and just let my body move. I allowed myself to have sexual fantasies. I allowed myself to be sexual.
Now that I have that sexual confidence, I feel like a hottie. I know I attract more men, not because I'm sexual, but because I'm confident. I know what my body is capable of. It may not look as aesthetically beautiful as a model's, and my skin gets zits, my teeth are crooked, my hair is bad... I could go on and on. But the fact is that when I swivel my hips, my large, chubby, child-bearing hips, I feel like a hottie... No, I KNOW I'm a hottie. And that's what makes the difference.
Hope this helps! Good luck.

Answer 2

Depression can make you doubt the world, so give yourself a break and lighten up. Sexy is in the mind anyway. What are you looking for -- a shallow relationship based only on what you look like, or a deeper type of REAL relationship where you can get to know someone and like them for who they are (and they can like you, too)?

If you take care of yourself, clean, neat and take care of your teeth, that will go along way to helping you give out better vibes. Carry a clean handkerchief just in case... (a dirty, wrinkled one cannot be offered to a lady in distress). Polish your shoes or clean them anyway. Smile. Get yourself a good haircut and some advice on how you can maximize your hair. Try to be positive. If your'e an interesting person, women will be interested in you.

Probably another thing you haven't thought about is that there is probably a woman out there thinking just like you do. Why do all men chase after the beautiful women, and why do all the women chase after the handsome men? I know that's a generalization, but if you think about it, some people who aren't so good looking have marvelous personalities and are never boring. Close your eyes and try to concentrate on the rest of the picture.

Some of the most interesting men I've met are either small, skinny, fat, bald or have bad skin or any combination of these. I consider them diamonds in the rough. All of them had a good sense of humor and were fairly intelligent.

Have you considered a woman who makes you feel good about yourself? So relax... chill out.... things may happen when you least expect it. (Don't try too hard.)

Answer 3

First Confidence is Key.

there is nothing cuter than a guy who has just the right amount of confidence. (it starts to become bad when they are cocky and then cant swallow their own pride)

i agree with Ray Ray...the little things can make the biggest differences...a different hair style, different clothes and just a change from the norm is nice =] even new interests and different hobbies and getting out there socially will surely land you some new contacts =]

and remember not ALL girls want a huge buff guy who cares all about sports and ladies... (which reminds me DO NOT take steroids...it can fuel depression and cause mental illness!!!!!!!) a lot of girls like someone who can carry an intellectual conversation.

And the girls who...well...dont care about that and all they are about is looks... they arent worth going for and in th end you will be in a happier relationship than they ever have been and ever will be!

keep your chin up and good luck =]

Answer 4

Oh yeah. Great idea. you suffer from depression and you want to take steroids? You do know that they can cause mental illness among countless other problems.
Here's the thing...confidence is attractive. You still have to work on your self image. All of the hair dye and steroids in the world will not fix your distorted body image. You have to work from the inside.

Answer 5

Dude,you don't really have to do all this for other people but for your own self-esteem.If you tell yourself you're ugly ,people will find you ugly.be careful what you think of yourself.
You have to keep fit[everyone has to really],go to the gym,dress smart,put on a very nice cologne,have a nice hair cut,build your confidence,ladies love that(confident guys),walk tall man and yeah,be yourself ,hey if a lady doesn't like you for who you are then she aint worth your time.I believe that the inner being counts more[character] than looks but hey man,appearance does count too..lol..
Good Luck Mr?

Answer 6

I don't think that anything you do about your appearance would make any difference unless you like yourself. There are alot of things that a person can do to improve the way they look,but the thing that matters most is the person they are inside. Stop being so hard on yourself and start by loving yourself.

Answer 7

Go to a salon and get your hair done.
Start working out.
Wash your face every day.
Shower every day.
Start wearing a tiny amount of aftershave or cologne.

It's the tiny things like that that will eventually help you achieve a better physical appearance, though I'm sure you're not bad looking :) You most likely just suffer from low self-esteem.

Answer 8

Be yourself. Live your life to the fullest. You don't live your life to suit the needs of others. Just because some women prefer hot guys, you don't need to change yourself. Remember it is your life, don't mind what or how others judge you. Be positive!

I believe some day you will find someone and just be patient. Good Luck! =)

Answer 9

Do not take steroid.
Exercise those muscles.
Eat healthily and drink enough water.
Color your hair at the saloon.
Have a good hair cut.
Shave everyday.
Use a good cologne.
Look neat everyday.
Smell good everyday.
Have a positive outlook of yourself. When you feel good, you would certainly look good.

Answer 10

the best thing to wear is a good smile ! warm n friendly.

dress smart. doesnt meant jazzy, flashy.

be swift in praise.

hair color you can work out with dye.

physique you may tone up at a gym to some extent after what god gave you.

BE POSITIVE.

Sure you will gain love n respect when you give love n respect yourself first.

BEST OF LUCK !!