All women are like this only or only Indian..?

Question

I`m an Indian.
I have been married for 3 years and have a kid. Since the beginning of our marriage, my wife is not interested in sex, she always thinks it is dirty and refuses to do it at day light or lights on. I never forced her to indulge, but she always pretended to be tired 5 days in a week. She never comes to me with her own wish, and she doesn't participate actively in it. I always feel like sleeping with DEAD body [Sorry for the word ]. I try to stimulate her by foreplay and many things, she never gets arousal, nor she do anything to me. Is it common in Indian women or all women are like that only or she has some problems? Now I came to know that she had affair before and she got married to me against her wish. Can this be the cause for her non responsive behavior?

I had kid; after having sex with DEAD body.

Answer 1

Women want a man to seduce her--not just with foreplay. Women sometimes feel nervous about their bodies after they've been pregnant--we don't have the same figure anymore, and think we're less attractive. Usually, we don't feel intimate when we don't feel close to our partner. It's important for you to not pressure her, just lay off and don't put the pressure of sex into the bedroom. Maybe that's what she's really tired of--feeling like she has to do everything to everyone(you and the kids, and friends, and family..)


To bring sex back into the bedroom:
You have to tell her she's beautiful and that you appreciate the things she does(then you have to list a few things, like cooking, keeping things clean, raising your children, whatever). You have to flirt with her--so that she believes you when you say she's beautiful. You have to kiss her passionately, as if there's no tomorrow. When you act like this, she will start to feel more attractive and maybe will actually enjoy intimacy.

Play with the kids, then look in her eyes, and tell her how wonderful as a mother she is. Bring her flowers, or cook something, or bring her perfume and tell her it would smell like heaven on her. Then when she wears it, look in her eyes, as if she's the only woman on earth.

When she talks to you, listen to her and don't act distracted. Say she's the only woman for you. Stuff like that turns us on.

If she seems to respond nicely to all those things, then you come up to her, kiss her, touch her hair, touch her neck. Tell her you want to make love to her and then do it!! Sometimes we like it when you become all passionate.

That's how things are when people fall in love or have affairs. We become really involved with the other person. We, as women, crave those things--attention, love, compliments, appreciation, and positivity. As her husband, you have to give her those things so that she feels like beeing intimate with you. Act out of love. Her intimacy will come when you make her feel special, as if she's the one you want and no one else.

You can also very calmly ask her if you can give her anything that you're not giving her currently. See what she says. She'll appreciate that you're paying attention to her. She has to warm up to you again. Communicate lovingly to her.

In the meantime, know that sexual pleasure for both of you will come, and be patient with her. Be romantic. Give her a massage, even if you don't want to, just smile and do it for a few minutes, because she says "she's tired". Reverse psychology--read up on it. Good luck. Remember, treat her like a queen and you will be treated like a king.

Answer 2

Not all women are like that. Seems like she has the problem- an issue about sex. May not be an issue with marrying you. I use to initiate sex with the man, but after so many I don't feel like it or some other excuse- I quit trying. You should not be held responsible for her actions- she wasn't literally forced to marry you was she? How old were you when you married her, and how old was she? Sounds like a marriage counselor or therapy would benefit your relationship. I once suggested a realationship counselor with the man, but that blew away with the wind.LOL..Good luck in trying to make things better between you two.

Answer 3

I think considering she'd had an affair, maybe the lack of sex has something to do with her being unhappy in a forced marriage? I hate to say it, but perhaps it's because she doesn't love you???

It's definitely not normal for a wife to not want to have sex with her husband. I think you may need to work on your emotional bond/connection before you can expect her to open up to you sexually. She may also feel unattractive.

Take some time to learn about her and try to do fun things together. Find what makes her happy, what makes her laugh... show her that you want a GREAT marriage and that it's not just about the sex (although that's one of the perks!).

Good luck!

Answer 4

This is not a suitable question for internet.It can not provide any solution.Women differ whether they are Indian or Western.It seems a lot of misunderstanding has crept in between you.You have to sort out them.Sex is only one part of marriage.An open discussion between you will be helpful.The high expectations before marriage and ground realities after may differ,you have to reconcile with realities.As years pass and after child birth woman's attention is partly diverted to child and consequently interest for sex might have got dampened.You have re examine the entire issues with an open mind.

Answer 5

Have you tried talking to her specifically about this? If it proves to be difficult, maybe you and your wife should seek counseling. It's not an answer to your question/problem, but it may be a place to start.

And how did you learn of this affair and that she married you against her wishes? Who forced her to marry you?

This has nothing to do with her being Indian or, for that matter, being a woman. It seems like she has some personal issues that need to be dealt with, for her, your and your child's happiness. Good luck.

Answer 6

Yea thats the reason talk to her if its that bad have a chick on the other side dont be lonely ur wife probly dont have feeling tours you and dosnt have any sex desire for you but other girls do your a man do what you got to do to survive and sex is important!!! in order for a relationship to be stable. Think about your son and whats the best thing to maybe she will give it a try for him after all you guys are married and have a kid do it for him if it does not work you cant say you didnt try

Answer 7

For men Sex seems to be their LIFE. There is more to life than two minute sex. Whats all the hype about taking out that tiny piece of flesh between your legs and working it for two minutes. Its disgusting and slimey and filthy. People should never be forced into marriage, infact they should stop getting married.And whats with doing the same dam thing over and over and over again its boring and ridiculous. Its ok when men have affairs, why is it wrong for women to have affairs. Even after marriage men are moving around like loafers with lose character and getting Aids and STD. They are filthy pigs.

Answer 8

Short answer: No, to both sides of your question.

Please clarify whether you mean Eastern Indian, as in near to Pakistan, or Indigenous Indian / First Nation that originates from the hemisphere housing Canada and North / South America; also what religious up-bringing in her family.

I am assuming you mean Eastern Indian, in which case your report ...
could mean that your wife was abused / assaulted as a child, could mean that she was educated by an extreme religious sect,
could mean that she was in love with another and forced into an arranged marriage by her family. None are happy options and you will need to get help from professionals.

Answer 9

Gosh, what a hardship...for both of you.
It sure seems like her lack of romance is connected with having been forced or coerced into marrying you. Would she go to marriage- or family counseling with you? Even if she doesn't, you could benefit greatly by going. Please consider getting some outside help. Perhaps she'll see you're making the effort to create peace and affection in the relationship, and in time warm up to you.
Very best wishes for the love light to shine.

Answer 10

I can't really speak for Indian women as a whole but I do know that all women are not like that. At first I thought maybe she did have a problem with intimacy but when you said she married you against her wishes and cheated, it sounds to me like that could be what the problem is.