A boy bit my son in the face today at preschool. What would you do?

Question

My son took a toy away from the other boy and he came over and bit him on his cheek. It didn't break the skin, but you can see the teeth marks on my sons face! These guys are 4! Isn't this insane? I'm not MAD, they are only kids, but I mean, come on! Crazyness!

Answer 1

It's a fact, some kids are biters. It has to do with their personality type. There is no possible way any daycare/preschool could keep a biter from biting 100% of the time unless that child were 100% isolated, which is not possible nor ethical. The preschool should have intervened, and talked with the offending child, offered a reasonable consequence, talked to both you and the other child's parents, had both you and the other child's parents sign an incident report, etc. If this protocol was not followed, then I'd have a lot of concerns. If a child is a repeat offender, extra steps would need to be taken to eliminate the behavior, and if it doesn't improve and the rest of the class is at risk, he may be asked to leave the center permanently. I'd talk about your concerns with the center supervisor (I always recommend going directly to the person that can solve your problems) and talk to your son about how he feels, and use this as an opportunity to teach him about empathy and love. I hope he's doing okay, poor little guy! Good luck! :)

Answer 2

raise... **** at the school w/ the teacher and the director about this...they will then be more cautious over their liabilty. They have to protect your child. My child is 2...and my experience has been that the biters... tend to be the sole HABITUAL biters in the class... after much probing into two situations, the teachers always let it slip out that "so and so" bites a lot.. or has "many victims". They need to keep an eye on said biter to protect all the kids.... i find it pretty traumatic when my little one gets bit. i know it happens for the age...as this is how they express things.. but geez.. it just sucks. Also, keep an eye on the daily sheets and/or accident reports...these will be your insight into whether or not the biter is a habitual offender.... they'll have one every day .... or you will see a flipping pile on the counter. 4.. is also.. old enough to clearly know better.

Answer 3

Likely it was a relapse for the other boy. He was probably frustrated and angry at your son, and lashed out. Maybe he was having a bad day. I feel bad for your son, but if the bite didn't break the skin, then it's really no more serious than if he'd gotten clobbered or kicked by the other kid. It's not great, but it WILL happen at this age. Unless this becomes a repeat scenerio, I'd just overlook it. As long as the daycare handled things reasonably (ie. told you about it, and told the other kid's parents too) then there's no reason to overreact. Just pray to God and thank him that it's not YOUR son doing the biting!

Answer 4

I think I would make sure that the preschool had provided some kind of discipline for the child that bit your son. A teacher can't prevent every child from becoming frusterated and biting, but they should have some kind of policy on what will be done with a child that is a biter. I would make it clear though, that it better not happen again or I would be removing my son.

Answer 5

That's a stage 2-3 yr olds go through - the biting stage. A 4 yr old should know better, but it happened. Both children did wrong - your son took his toy away, he bit your son. All you can do is try to teach them what is right & wrong. I would have been upset, but I wouldn't have done anything but maybe ask the teacher if she explained to the kid that biting was wrong & what he should have done instead & if she told his parents. I would explain to my child that he cannot just take toys away from other kids, that he has to ask or go play with something else. It is crazy, but it's a growing experience.

Answer 6

I was a substitute teacher at a preschool that this very same thing happened a few days before. I asked what they did about it and the assistants said that: they watch the biter extra careful, constantly praise him for not biting, and spoke with his parents about the issue. Hopefully, your son's preschool is taking similar action.

Answer 7

And just where were the caregivers while all this was happening!?!?
Granted at 4 your son should be learning that you don't take things from others but that doesn't mean they should have allowed another child to bite him!
They should have been close enough and involved enough to correct your son for grabbing and defuse the situation before the other kid had the oportunity to bite.

Answer 8

I would let it pass and continue to teach your son not to hit or bite or play too rough. Keep in mind that they are 4 and although it may seem crazy, your son too may bite someone one of these days. They are learning self control but are also learning to stand up for themselves and need to be taught what NOT to do. It is a matter of trial and error. Okay, biting just gets me in trouble... maybe I should push... okay, I got time-out for that... maybe I should tell the teacher. Hey, that works!! I love kids. :)

Answer 9

Ok, My daughter is only 11months so I haven't had this problem yet. BUT!!!!! If it was me....... I would wait til the child's parents came to daycare and let them know that is unacceptable. I think it would make the parents try harder if it came from another parent then the caregiver. Don't yell at them and treat them bad cause it's not their fault but Parent to Parent would let you know by their attitude.

Answer 10

Ask the teacher to talk to the child. Children understand correction at this age. If this behavior persists then you need to talk to his parents. Hope your son is alright!